Tips for managing friendships between extroverts and introverts

Truppensturm​(sub male) • May 16, 2021

Hey @OraclePollon

That is exactly the reason why I also like being around my extroverted friends. However, for me it actually saves my energy, because I don't feel forced to keep talking. I can just listen and get absorbed in their world. I will ask many questions and I feel invested in what they are saying. Ill also tell them my experiences and thoughts, but I feel at ease letting them lead the conversation.

Thank you for your kind words.

Lowflower​(sub female) • May 17, 2021

Hey, I just wanted to say you're not alone, I suffer from agorophobia/panic attacks and I tend to only remain friends with those who bust down the door, so to say. I'm very proud of you for understanding how much this person has to offer and what they can teach you, it can be very uncomfortable sometimes to get close to the type of person who stops on the street to talk to a group of friends they know, etc.

My best advice, seeing as this person has helped you to realize and challenge your anxiety, is to be open and personal but gentle with this person and allow them to understand your anxieties. Sometimes this alone helps the anxiety to diminish, like a monster who can't be spoken of, anxiety held in creates more anxiety. He seems understanding, and by being expressive you're not asking him to be any different, just allowing him to see the page that you're on.

Secondarily, I believe introverts do need their 'flow' time alone. As much as I would love to feel bright and shiny around people all the time, I can't. I would say that you should appreciate the moments you are able to spend alone by cherishing yourself. I'm not sure if you get fomo but I sure do, having anxiety and thinking about what I'm missing. Sometimes it's okay and you're doing you, and a great job too.

Thirdly, are you the type that needs personal one on one time, it is a requirement? Is it being met? Perhaps you can somehow ask to just be one on one. I had to detail this to a lot of my friends, that I have an anxiety disorder and sometimes I can only handle one person. People are surprisingly understanding.
All the best, it's truly amazing to remain open

Truppensturm​(sub male) • May 20, 2021

@Lowflower thank you so much for your sweet words

I recognise most if not all you are saying. I do struggle with fomo as well, but I have learnt that there is no reason to have fomo, because at the times I was alone it was mostly a conscious choice. I made the choice that I wanted or needed to be alone at that time, so there's no reason to have fomo. I definitely also prefer 1on1 or small groups for social interactions. In bigger groups I tend to feel a bit uncomfortable. I have also come to the same conclusion as you. People are very understanding once they know you. The hard part is allowing yourself to show your vulnerable side. However with certain people it just feels right to show this side and it comes naturally. That is such a beatiful thing and also something I experienced with this friend.