Online now
Online now

Help me please

A Cloud​(sub female){Owned}
2 years ago • Jul 22, 2021
Thank you CatLover - this thread has some interesting points for me to consider. Childhood or adolescent abuse is not my experience, but like all humans, there is trauma in my past.

I love being submissive and doing things for/to humans [that I let in]. I embrace vulnerability but also have a strong, defiant and feminist attitude that influences my interpretations and thinking. There are triggers but they seem to shift, depending on internal and external contexts. How do I set limits and boundaries if I change my mind, mood and desires constantly?

There has been a shift in our dynamic. This comes after an extensive period of synchronised dancing together in pure bliss and complete isolation from the world. Then, 'reality' took over, my/our focus shifted and I/we lost much of the excitement for exploring new D/s and kink terrain. A void is felt between us; I think there is a communication breakdown caused by our fear of hurting [the other and the dynamic]. We subjectively interpret the actions and words of the other, hence we struggle to align our understanding and meaning. More self-enquiry, research and communication is always welcome (and needed) but I think time and attention paid to my sexual self and the dynamic is most important - gestures that inspire blooming, growth and desire are required. I/we do not confidently see how D/s best plays out in our dynamic at the moment, but despite my insecurity in embracing submission as part of me, I feel drawn to it.

My tendencies and likes include:
(I am curious as to my inclination, and sometimes reluctance, toward submission - What is submission for me? Am I submissive?)

Direction and receiving
Collar for play
Choking on cock
Hand on throat - minimal breath play
Tied up
Sensory deprivation
Teasing and edging
Impact play
Sensations - Pleasure/pain, hot/cold, hard/soft, high intensity-no intensity
Ass play
Fantasising - group, females, blindfold
Sound of female pleasure
Multiple penetration - mouth, ass & cunt all at once
Sensual touch and care
Praises, complements
Feeling the pleasure they get from my body
Mastering a task or idea
Dressing up
Mimicking objects/furniture
Rope bunny
Dirty talk/names - whore, bitch (I call myself this when I am fantasising and horny)
Kneeling positions (this is a sensitive area as it doesn't always sit well with me - excuse the pun)
Name titles are used when they feel genuine eg. Sir - I have to want to say it
Pleasing him, alongside my own pleasure/giving mood