Looking for advice regarding ravage fantasy

Looking for advice regarding ravage fantasy

Plissken • Jul 9, 2018

I'm meeting a sub for the first time later tonight to live out a fantasy of hers, but I'm a little unsure how to go about it.

She insists that she doesn't want to use a safe word, but will instead send me a video with a concent statement before we meet, and since it's our first meeting ever she'll have a 10 minute window to opt out if the chemistry isn't there.

She's told me to be as rough as I please, but given the nature of the fantasy, I'm not really sure what to look out for if rough becomes too rough for her.

Does anyone here have any experience playing around without a safeword that can give me some advice and pointers on how to go about it?

I'll be watching this thread for the next couple of hours to answer any questions if you need any expanded information before weighing in.

CrimsonPaw • Jul 9, 2018

I would still insist on a safe word. However, I just did this same thing, haha! So I really have no room to say anything against it. We didn't use a gag, so at the one point that got a bit too much for me, I simply spoke up. But if you're using a gag, it'll be more difficult to tell since you would need to rely on cues that you're unfamiliar with bc you don't know her. Tread cautiously, safety needs to be a priority.

SubforHim​(sub female) • Jul 12, 2018

I see the time has already passed and you have probably already met with the new sub.

How did it go? I would have insisted on a safeword, especially as you have never played before. They can always choose to not use it...but I consider it a safety issue.

Miki​(masochist female) • Jul 13, 2018

Hope you had a blast , but the rest of this sub's "conditions" such as an opt-out clause (good grief is this a hook-up or a football try-out?) and no Safe Word-- is trouble waiting to happen, consent video or not.

Such as the video would be worthless in court f she were to try and dig into your pockets because all she would ave to say is "I said stop a minute after we started!" and your twisted ass is heading to jail.

This is always a risk of course, even with a "safe" word but the way she went about it.. Sounds like she got at least three screws only hand tight in her head.

When assessing a partner before getting busy one has to look for signs and hints in all kinds of stuff beforehand. Out of the blue quirky remarks, odd choice in clothing, the way they carry themselves, their remarks about "stuff in general" all give clues as to what lies beneath the surface they put out for your benefit.

Long story short.. No safe word? No play time. She told you she was acting out a fantasy? This smacks of someone who is tiotally without a clue of what she was letting herself in for. Personally I would have told this one "Thanks but Nahhh, I'm good."

DrWakko • Jul 14, 2018

There is rule floating around out there that you don’t play on a first meeting. This includes going to a dungeon as well. You want to get a feel for that person. See how they act. If you are a bottom you might want to see how they handle their toys.

Before meeting someone for the first time and they give you a pass to do anything to them is a red flag for me. How can you trust them not to turn around and call the cops after. Or have their friends waiting in the wings to kick your ass. And how can she trust that you won’t kill her. That the skills you told her are the truth?

I hope it went well, but there are too many red flags of safety that need to be addressed.

DW

UnrulyNerdGirl​(sub female) • Jul 17, 2018

I hope it went well, but immediately so many red flags went up for me.

Plissken • Aug 11, 2018

yeah nothing happened, think it might just've been a guy catfishing me.

Fudbar​(dom male){❤️❤️❤️} • Aug 11, 2018

Or not... Quite common for subs to get cold feet at the last minute with CNC scenes. The thinking and planning can be very arousing to them, but when it comes time to play it out, the terror and fear can be overwhelming.

Expect this, and do your best to reassure them and tell them it's ok to back out at any time.

Think of it as calling 'red' before the scene. Gotta accept it, stop and back off no matter when it happens.