| rochellesub(sub female) |
2 years ago •
Feb 9, 2022
WytchyWoman wrote: EXTREME SNIP FOR FOCUS:
FundamentallyDom wrote: f you're at the stage where you're coming here for help then it is probably at quite a tricky stage. The subject may already be an uncomfortable and awkward one for him and raising the topic may put him into a "how do I get out of here?" type of mindset ...
None of this is saying how to make him more dominant. You can't change what he is internally. However once you start on the shared hungers, it encourages the kinks you share and he's in a space where he's really enjoying the sex and hungering for more of it, and that will help bring out the dominant aspects he does have. From a submissive's point of view (even though she specifically excluded us) I'd say the biggest issue is the fact that she calls him her "dom" but then immediately states he's NOT into D/s. Anyone who's not naturally inclined to dominance may very well grow to resent being tasked with being expected to function as one. He likely has no interest in taking over all the day to day decision making and having it pushed on him when he's unwillingly is a major imposition that would certainly affect his sex drive even further. From my lowly point of view the most pressing issue is THIS problem rather than trying to forcefully get some kinky sex going. I'm just a clueless woman with over 25 years experience though.  (and I'm apparently rather bitter over this slight) |
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| rochellesub(sub female) |
2 years ago •
Feb 9, 2022
I apologize for offending you. I did not mean it and that was my oversight in my initial post. Although I didn't provide all the details to my situation fully, I respect this point of view and will take this into ultimate consideration. My husband leans towards being dominate and so that is why he is okay and enjoys with experimenting with me in this realm. I don't think our relationship will every be a full sub/dom dynamic because it isn't something that he is truly invested in so yes, thank you for helping me see that.
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| rochellesub(sub female) |
2 years ago •
Feb 9, 2022
Wow there is so much to digest here. Thank you so much for taking the time to write all that down. I will take a couple of days to digest this and make mental notes to try to help our relationship.
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salutexlovely(sub female){{Owned}}
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2 years ago •
Feb 22, 2022
I have this friend ( dead serious lol she's a friend) who reaaaaallllllly wanted her husband to explore some "kinkier" things. And some of her experiences may spark something for you so I'm gonna share a few.
Firstly , he goes on long business trips maybe four or five a year. She had been debating because all she had as far as toys was a vibrator and hadn't told him. After some encouragement ( and a lot of wine) I got her to send him a naughty message . She as scared! Legit scared he would be like " wtf?" And not be into it. Imagine her surprise when he did! He played right along and they developed a sort of naughty playtime while he was in trips. She wanted him to try talking more aggressively during sex. So she started saying things first. He generally only responded with a "mmhm " or " oh yeah" or God help him he would start repeating what she said " we called him a parrot and laughed until we cride.) But after a few weeks of this she finally told him why she was saying these things and told him some things she had read or heard and thought as arousing for her. And again! The surprise when he listened and responded! The point I'm making is that she TALKED to him . It was hard for her. She's naturally a submissive person and ultimately wanted him to develop some more dominanting presence. We talked at length about why this is so hard to discuss with partners because as a submissive type of person giving direction doesn't feel comfortable... But we also can't expect our partners to read our minds. Yea, the fantasy of the Dom who is so perfect and can take the lead and the power is the ultimate fantasy , but sometimes I guess our part of encouragement has to be given with some gentle direction. I hope he is responsive to your forrays into the D/S lifestyle and you both achieve fulfillment 
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IronWorld(sadist male)
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2 years ago •
Feb 28, 2022
Re: Inspiring My Dom rochellesub wrote: Hello sirs!
This question is for you. My husband is my dom and doesn't have a high sex drive. Unfortunately, I do. He isn't much interested in the dom/sub world, but does it for me. How do I inspire him to be more in the mood when I am a submissive that doesn't like taking control? All help appreciated! A grateful sub, Rochelle I happen to know a couple that went through a similar situation. Given the known circumstances of that relationship, I feel I would need to obtain more information of yours (which could be potentially sensitive, so I wont ask in public forum) before I could give any meaningful advice. On the most superficial level, I would recommend incorporating kink inspired by your husband's personal interests. For example, if your husband likes specific fictional characters, try a little cosplay in your activities. Does your husband like cars? Dress up as a Nascar pit girl or a trophy girl from races gone by. |
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| heartlesslover(sub female) |
2 years ago •
Mar 2, 2022
Maybe his idea of being a Dom is different than yours? If he has a low sex drive, maybe you can try more than just ‘in the bedroom’ play. There can be a lot more to it than sex, you just have to figure out what makes you both tick. Hopefully those wants will be compatible.
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