Is it Ghosting when ....

Is it Ghosting when ....

chattel​(sub female) • May 11, 2022

you ask a question and they respond without answering your question or so vaguely that they may as well have not have answered?

Is it ghosting if you repeatedly ask something and are given the same nonanswer?

Talking about questions like "what dynamic do you seek?" or "what do expect from a slave?" or "what forms of (insert kink) do you enjoy?"

anythingUdesire • May 11, 2022

What are the signs of ghosting?
Image result for Ghosting
Early Signs of Ghosting
Bailing on plans has become their second nature. ...
Avoids sharing personal details. ...
They seem to have commitment phobia (aka gamophobia) ...
Their words never match their actions. ...
They show no interest in future plans. ...
They keep your relationship secret. ...
They avoid revealing about “you two” in public
Seems pretty darn close to what there doing. There seems to be more and more phony people around the community all the time, takes a while to weed out the wheat from the chaff.

Spellbound Wytch{Mr. Parker} • May 11, 2022

I think of ghosting as being a situation where the other party just stops responding to you and is clearly unwilling to continue any further communication. These examples demonstrate an avoidance behavior that's most likely a result of being unclear about what they expect or want. It's really the height of laziness.

I can't consider anyone like this to be a dominant since they're unwillingly to even put forward what they're looking for in a relationship. Don't bother doing the heavy lifting in a situation like this - you're unlikely to be met with any appreciation or to be rewarded with anything of substance. That's just me though. I'm very direct with a tendency toward impatience with uncommunicative people. I hope you find a better situation moving forward.

chattel​(sub female) • May 11, 2022

I realize now that I wasn't clear

At what point is it not ghosting to stop responding when you recieve no answer to a question or an "answer" that is vague enough not to be answer.

I typically ask three times. In the past I have eventually said "no thank you" and was met with rude responses as if I had wasted their time so I just have been stopping replies but wonder if that qualifies as ghosting

No Body​(dom male) • May 11, 2022

Not ghosting but just wasting your time. If you have to ask twice then you need to wonder if it is worth it. I ask once and if no answer I think about it and ask a second time there is no third strike. If you can't tell me what I want to know then when will you be able to talk to me straight out? If you're holding back for a reason let me know and we will come back to it when you feel like you can talk about it. Don't just keep me in the dark about it all.

Zelia • May 11, 2022

To just stop responding because you don’t get the answer you expect or any answer at all is to ghost. The alternative is to say, I’m sorry this isn’t working out, thank you for your time, take care. That’s clear and direct enough to be a goodbye without leaving someone wondering.
If someone doesn’t answer a question or is vague there’s a reason; they simply don’t want to answer the question. If you need an answer to proceed, then it’s time to send a clear goodbye message.

RefuseToPretend​(dom male) • May 12, 2022

I would have to agree that to "ghost" is to "vanish" as if into thin air. To not answer an initial message, especially one-liners, would not be uncommon. No effort in deserves no effort in response. But if engaged in an active conversation and then one person just stops responding, giving no cause or clear conclusion, they have most certainly ghosted.

Defender​(dom male) • May 12, 2022

To me, what RefuseTo Pretend has described in his last sentence above, is the most brutal form of ghosting.

Whatever the reasons behind that sudden cessation in what had seemed to be an enthusiastic conversation, there are few excuses for not giving a simple goodbye and a reason.

However, I don't see what the OP describes as ghosting. At least not in its worst form.
If you have tried your hardest with someone, but get little back.
And if you are not getting your needs met, then you are very likely to give up in the end.

So explain why you are walking away.

Then walk away.

It is not necessarily easy, but your mental health needs protecting.

Applies to Doms as well as subs.

Zelia • May 12, 2022

There seems to be some confusion about what the OP is asking. She’s not asking if the person she is talking to is ghosting but being vague or not answering properly. She is asking if it’s ghosting if she just stops responding when this happens.

Literate Lycan​(dom male) • May 12, 2022

It is sad that mature adults would respond to your frank and honest “No thank you” with rudeness. If they aren’t scratching the itch, then it isn’t your job to continue to massage their ego by pretending or feigning interest. And by not answering your questions directly when asked specifically, they are not scratching your itch.

As to your question: If you simply stop responding, then yes that is ghosting. But sometimes ghosting might be the answer. It isn’t always bad, just given a negative connotation. Perhaps if more people asked the question of why they were ghosted it might be a learning experience. Of course, some ghosts are simply being rude.

I would say the polite, mature response might be simply as others have offered. Explain and say good bye.

“I’m sorry. But I’ve asked a specific question numerous times and you don’t seem to want to answer. This causes my flags to raise, so I’m going to take a pass. Have an awesome day and a great life.” However they respond will show their true colors and maturity, and if they are rude then realize you have avoided yet another troll.

Hope you have an excellent day!