Respect

Respect

Little Vixie​(sub female){Mgh30} • May 21, 2022

I think it is crazy that I had my bio had information about me, but at the very top stated I was not looking for a Dom.

I had a previous dom reach out to me after telling me to never contact him again if I wished to have sex with other people. This was while him and I were not in a Sub/dom relationship and he had a submissive. He did not like the idea of me fucking other people, but it was okay for him to do so.
When he reached out to me last week after 2 years of not speaking, he tried to tell me that we were both at fault and he knew I still loved him. It came as a shock when I told him that I was engaged and any feelings that were there prior were killed off by the lack of respect that was had for me.

Another male also reached out to me telling me how sexy my body was. After explaining that I found it a bit disrespectful to start a conversation that way, I got told that I needed to accept the compliment that men hand to me because my body is what starts a conversation and my words keeps the men in.

Why is it hard to be treated with even the slightest bit of respect? I ended of deleting everything out of my bio because anyone that was coming across me were not even attempting to read what it said. This is even after they said they read it and asked questions that were in my bio.

I get it's a BDSM site, but a simple hello or how is your day in my opinion is a lot nicer than "looking for a dom" or "I bet my cock would feel great in you" or "You're body is sexy. I'm not sure why that offends you. It says your a masochist and like being degraded.

Valore • May 21, 2022

Hello there.

I'd like to start my reply with a simple... you are not at fault.
Regardless what your profile may or may nothave said... we are first and foremost... people.

You have every right to find it disrespectful for someone to start a conversation with "your body..." or " you're sexy..." etc.
Bdsm is not just about the categories and their definitions. You can be in the lifestyle and have no inclinations towards being actively involved in it. Some just love the people, or the open minds, the beauty, the mental connection, etc.
Everyone is here for something they could not get elsewhere...
And that unfortunately triggers...uh... lacking individuals to try and find a quick fix.
There will be many who will manipulate words and jump through their own self made loopholes to try and make you think their way. Stand firm on your beliefs. Do not be swayed into thinking in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable or doubt yourself.
I do personally believe in change for the better and being open minded, but accepting poor treatment, or someone's twisted logic on how you should feel or be... is not that!

If someone says that you shouldn't feel a certain way, then they are already in the wrong. No one has the right to tell you how your feelings should be appropriate. You are you.
If you feel hurt, then they should be open to finding out why. If they say your thinking is wrong, then question that. Do not be afraid to question everything. This is the internet and you are at liberty to protect yourself.
A true Dom will either politely decline or will be patient in understanding.
Everyone has their own personalities, so too will tolerance for various things be different for everyone.... however, that does not mean that they can disrespect you if they disagree.
It's a matter of what someone is looking for. What they are here for.
You are here for what your heart and mind decided on. They are likewise here for their own reasons. The two do not need to align in everything or anything.
Continue to be yourself.
There are many subs who are unfortunately treated poorly... and likewise dom/mes.
You are not alone.

Notely • May 21, 2022

I read your profile and you're just looking for conversatio , Maybe it turns into friendship, nothing more than a genuine conversation is rare to find with genuine friendship. You deserve the respect in return. Yes this online everyone has feelings being angry never fixes anything.

A message like that they were upset they could not have you so they had to make excuses they could not control themselves. Take as a compliment he can't have you he never will.. Some people will come with silly messages to bother or really like you wish they could get upset like hot body not everyone answers you need to reply. If they say you look good just say thanks best of luck to you in the lifestyle. If someone is rude about their own problems they need to work on people can get jealous over nothing. They need to embrace themselves and others not take everything so seriously and take things into moderation. They need to think before they leap , Ask their 10 year old self you were taught to read in school , Older self them forgot to slap their older self in the head. Sometimes people need to unplug , recharge , reserve mindset , change their routine , Habits , Love yourself self love self care some forget everything comes with balance please recharge daily some do get grumpy and are empaths.

Chip on the shoulder getting bent out of shape over something very little is very immature not a sign of growth. You get mad over a person's profile and you can't have them well. It's time to log off and focus on mastering yourself in Growth. If they truly wanna be a good person they did have to be that way they could have said your man is very lucky to have you I honor that. Yes we are grown beings we don't come with a book where the book is higher self ask it more. Self growth is the only way one can do it for them. It's your profile, your temple, they should respect it ,return to the sender.

House Talion​(dom male) • May 21, 2022

You do you, nuff said.

Respect should be earned regaurdless of title, but there's too many ubber dom/mes within the community that think they're way is the only way. I feel sorry for these ppl as they are jot of the lifestyle just cause they think they have the right to tell others what to do just cause they call themselves a Dom.

It truely does suck that you had to go through any of that, but it shows a clear sign of what kind of Dom you DONT want