Musings on the past and the future

Musings on the past and the future

boyDJ​(masochist gender queer){When I'm i} • Sep 3, 2018

I went out today with the intent of buying a denim jacket and a new belt. I succeeded on the belt part, which I got from one of those "work Wear"type of store. It's the exact kind of belt I'm hoping to get spanked with sometime hopefully soon. And while thinking on that, I recalled past spankings, whippings & canings. Caning should actually be singular, because I got the cane only once from a guy named George who lived in a high rise on North Sheridan Road in Chicago. After stripping me naked, he gave it to me pretty respectably with my braided leather belt, then he escorted me to a closet where 3 canes were hanging and he instructed me to choose one. I picked the slimmest one. He said, "Good choice."

Then we went back to the bedroom where he used that on me to very good effect it STUNG like the dickens and it left vivid red welts. It was fantastic! But we were playing his role, not mine. I've always been of the mind that in order to feel the most helpless & vulnerable, I would have my blue jeans pulled down rather than off. You can't run very well with your jeans around your ankles - when you're naked, you can run. Just not outside.

Subsequent emails with George taught me all I needed to know about him. I attempted to explain, respectfully, that this was the scene I desired, and that could he please accommodate that? He wrote back with all the rage of a bipolar alcoholic and told me never to contact him again. From that, I suspected that someday, he'll wind up killing someone who pisses him off.

Then there was "Uncle Bill" who had a basement and he lived right over the Illinois-Indiana border. I visited him twice, and both times it was really satisfying - first time he used a whip of my own making - several 72" leather boot laces that I braided together. He stung me with that and left some vivid stripes, exactly what I was looking for. The second time, I started hinting at a "full body whipping," and undressed to allow that - no shirt and my blue jeans pulled down to my ankles. (Whenever I visit a Sir for this purpose, I don't wear underpants." And I grabbed some handles that were hanging from the ceiling. It was good, it hurt as it was supposed to, but it wasn't all that satisfying - he didn't whip me as hard as I wanted him to.

Present day - I live in the Central Valley of California and finding a Sir here seems darn near impossible. But stranger things have happened, like, finding this site, so I won't give up.

My BDSM scores

boyDJ​(masochist gender queer){When I'm i} • Sep 4, 2018

In case this piques anyone's interest, here are my scores from bdsmtest.org:

== Results from bdsmtest.org ==
100% Boy/Girl
97% Ageplayer
83% Non-monogamist
78% Experimentalist
75% Masochist
42% Vanilla
42% Submissive
34% Pet
31% Slave
29% Brat
25% Switch
23% Rope bunny
14% Exhibitionist
10% Voyeur
3% Degradee
0% Primal (Prey)

After I perused the results, I thought there must have been some errors, but on reflection, this seems quite accurate! I am 100% BOY, no question about that! Age player, that too! (Just read my profile!) Non-monogamist, true also. Experimentalist, definitely. Masochist, spot on! Vanilla? True - I'm not the "leather" or "slave" or "owned" type - I'm an experimental, non-monogamist, age playing BOY! Submissive? For the right Sir, you betcha! Pet, well, maybe... Slave, not so much but I wouldn't mind experimenting with a scenario rotating around this theme. Brat? Oh boy, you know it! Switch? Something I think about but really, not all that often. Rope bunny, that's a new one on me! But symbolic or light bondage using rope has its own scent of intrigue. Exhibitionist only in front of friends, in a closed group setting. Not really a voyeur, except maybe for my Sir. Degradee, years ago, one Sir (who I managed to let escape, long story that) pissed on me but at that moment, we were both in the shower, and that was after a night of sucking each other's cocks until my jaw muscles were aching, and him fucking the STUFFING out of me.

Comments? Suggestions? Always welcome!

priestess​(masochist female) • Sep 6, 2018

All I can really say to this is that you're going to have to keep looking. Your past experiences seem to have started very well and ended very badly, and to have missed out certain things you need. I would say, don't try classifieds/personals. That way you don't know what you're getting. Don't try dating sites at all. Just keep a look-out in the real world. If need be, go to places you're bound to find a Dom or other sadistic type. Kinky bars, munches, kink-oriented - or even just sex-oriented - club nights. And also ask them for their kinks and limits, thoroughly, before anything.

boyDJ​(masochist gender queer){When I'm i} • Sep 6, 2018

Priestess, thank you for your thoughtful comment. I've signed up (so to speak) with a local kink group (FetLife) and hopefully they'll accept me and I'll get invited to some upcoming munches. I like this site a whole lot but hooking up with others in my geographical area appears to be more readily available on other sites. Your thoughts, maybe?

Thank you!

priestess​(masochist female) • Sep 6, 2018

BoyDJ, I would really deter you from FetLife. It's good for keeping track of munches but it's an awful community. People outwith your sexuality, or your location, will spam you hitting on you as soon as they see you listed as submissive. Nasty website.

boyDJ​(masochist gender queer){When I'm i} • Sep 6, 2018

I'll keep that in mind, thank you!