Toxic narcissistic sub(s)

Toxic narcissistic sub(s)

mab{Thiers } • Feb 28, 2023

We all know very well that the toxic narcissistic Dom exist and must be avoided at all costs.

But the sneaky toxic narcissistic sub, wow! A category that has not been spoken about nearly enough. And is equally, and arguably, more harmful than their Dom counterparts.

These sub or subs tend to present as your friend and advocate, 'ive been around a while'..' I can show you the ropes'... 'i know everyone'... And so on.
They tend to show how fiercely they will protect you from other Dom's or harmful thinking etc, or any topic where they can take a position of defender and advocate. They will make time for you, laugh with you and express a very keen interest in you.

But what is actually happening is that they are feeding from you (milk of human kindness type thing). Cleverly, it starts slow, the conversation always seems to turn to them, their problems (of which will be numerous and never their fault) until eventually their narcissism really rears its ugly head.

Most toxic narcissist subs don't tend to want anything other than your time, maybe some gifts, and all the air in the room. But this is a costly exercise- the emotional burden of knowing one is entirely draining.

Once they realise you have wised up to them, the narrative changes start to take place- 'i didn't mean that, I meant .....' and the attention seeking behaviour never seems to end.

When you start to place boundaries - that's when one of two things happen. They either quit (because they have gotten everything they can from you) or they bring out the emotional big guns e.g. 'i feel let down by you' and the such.

The strangest thing about this group of people, Doms and subs alike, is that they go on- as if nothing had ever happened. They just keep on going as if they didn't do anything wrong. They refuse to believe what they have done to you.

What you might chose to do with this info, is entirely up to you. But please feel free to share your toxic narcissist Dom/sub stories below. So that we can all grown from this in a positive way.

M

Miki • Feb 28, 2023

No toxic sub stories here, as I am not a dominant but not a "real" sub either, but what you write needs to see the light of day. I have seen plenty and wrote my share of opinions about dick-headed doms, but of course there are slimy subs out to take advantage. All in all this shit can be found across the board be it in the BDSM realm or "ordinary people". Anywhere there be human beings there is the opportunity for dirt-bags to thrive. Goes with the territory.

That's all I have. Sooner or later someone will post the material you're looking to shed light on. I just wanted to send an upvote to the topic for whatever that's worth, probably a buck short of enough for a lousy cup of Joe at your nearest greasy-spoon diner/truck stop.

Re: Toxic narcissistic sub(s)

autisticbarbie • Mar 1, 2023

What I am reading is that you are looking for a sub to show you the ropes and protect you. I'm 100 percent down with calling out narcs and jerks, but dang. Respectfully, you sound fancy.

Ingénue{VK} • Mar 1, 2023

How about a different view? We're all different, act like a community and quit grandstanding?

We're each responsible for the connections we make on here and for our part in the consequences of them.

I'm sorry to read that you've clearly had a difficult time.

I hope the story times and sharing help somehow.