Do You Copy & Paste?

Heero​(dom male) • Dec 24, 2023

Hmm, while I may formulate it differently in certain parts, I know what @CageOwner is getting at, and it certainly applies to spheres outside of dating. There is an entire philosophy based on such a principle, called "the law of reversed effort", and you would hear people say things like "sometimes less is more".

I think the takeaway would be something like "one should exert the appropriate amount of effort for the occasion and the phase of the occasion that you find yourself in." Sometimes this could mean putting *less* effort into something. There are many times and many spheres in which exerting more effort after a certain point is negatively correlated with success, however it is defined. Heck, there are even cases where more effort is directly correlated with failure.

Another cooking example: there are many dishes that require you to slow cook something at a low heat. Turning up the heat does not make it cook faster or better, it actually directly ruins the dish.

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Another thing I might want to emphasize, that may be missed by the cheeseburger example, is that "less" here usually refers to quantity not quality. The goal would be to pretty much always put forward high quality effort, but just maybe not too much. It's the difference between being able to write a great American novel, but knowing you should just write a great paragraph instead. You don't intentionally want to write a shitty paragraph. But writing a whole high quality novel may be too much. At times, one should settle for writing a high quality paragraph.

Now, if someone likes your paragraph, then you can write more and more and more and eventually, they will have a novel from you. And you maintain or increase the quality as time goes on. Whereas if you start by writing the best novel you could, and someone is unimpressed, then yeah, you got a Mount Everest to climb alright. I think this is also the idea behind pilot episodes for a TV show. You don't want the pilot to be shitty, because no one would produce the show. But you don't want to put in the effort to write the whole show and then that gets rejected.

Heero​(dom male) • Dec 24, 2023

And yes, the irony isn't lost on me that I just wrote a bunch of paragraphs to say something I probably could have said with two high quality sentences. Luckily for me, I'm not trying to date any of you 🤣.

darlingdiana​(sub female) • Dec 24, 2023

That's a hard NO for me, writing emails or responding.
i am almost never going to be the one who sends an email to a Dom first. i think i have twice? Questions, and a compliment/respect.
i was raised old school and in writing, showing oneself through emotion, feeling and unique perspective still existed in our professional/personal lives, in fact, it was imperative. Books, and bookshelves still existed ; ) Everyone had and used them.
i feel there is a description in someone's writing, they are like fingerprints...no one is alike and being online, this allows me to feel or sense. l may read people as "brail" through their words and expressions as identifiable and unique.
AKA- i KNOW when the person is under 40,30, or 20. They have ALWAYS asked how!? i knew. Folks, don't give this away lol.
Then i am able to approach and respond in the same manner which makes for a nice, inclination of introduction, welcome back, talk or future emails.
i will admit to never responding to a generic email or msg- EVER , but i have read some interesting perspectives here, that i had not considered previously, and understand more "why" they do so.
That doesn't change my centuries old feeling of opening a breath taking, wide eyed induced read. No, i do not mean sexual.
Nor a novel...rather, something meaningful and pertaining to me specifically as a person. It is a reminder that others "read" me that may be in a right or wrong way also, but it can certainly lead to friends and a smooth understanding if nothing else.
Some (i am SO jealous) have Mastered this in just a few sentences, with anyone they reach out too! smh.
I suppose it's the quality, not quantity for me. i will always prefer knowing someone by their raw, unique self- from the start! It is all about intentions, endearment (if compelled) and looking back on fond memories later.
Rather than a fishing game, try to look at it as a treasure hunt. That You actually smile about and want to seek with the intentions of "you are willing to loose it all, and will, but then radiate nothing but the love of the world on that person, through you" but still totally excited. (tough fkn task, let me tell you).
If search has taken its toll, call it "break time" and refill your cup <3. Get away for a time from the screen : ) Happens to ALL of us.
Just my opinion.

Defender​(dom male) • Dec 24, 2023

Some Doms are literary masterminds.
Some find reading difficult.

Some Doms can write poetry.
Others stumble with words.

Some are confident on the keyboard.
Others are confident on the chainsaw.

Some excelled at school with languages.
Others were better with numbers.

Some have a high IQ.
Others have mental health problems.

So I will quote myself again:

Heero​(dom male) • Dec 24, 2023

I totally expected you to say chainsaw there.

Miss Sparkle​(switch female){H} • Dec 24, 2023

I have had a bunch of guys copy pasting the same shitty message to send me and, honestly... try a bit harder...
I would rather 1 line that says something about me than 4 paragraphs about how I'm supposed to act in order to be your perfect submissive.
Finding a partner for a dynamic is the same as finding a partner for a vanilla relationship. You ARE supposed to like the other person, not just being a collection of bdsmtest matches. If you don't even rake the time to read a profile and send ONE line that makes sense to the person you are writing to, then what kind of effort are you gonna put on a relationship... I think it speaks poorly of the person doing it.
You don't have to tell a lot about yourself either, that's what your profile is about... in my opinion, simple, short and to the point is ok, as long as you show you actually care.

Sweet Minx​(sub female) • Dec 24, 2023

Amen.

SayYesMaam​(dom female) • Dec 24, 2023

I am an author and poet, so I enjoy writing. I will copy and paste some of the things that I have to say. Anyone who receives a reply from me should be thankful because most messages are not worth one. Most of my responses are not worthy of my time but I still reply. I am not going to spend a whole lot of time with someone who does not put the time into reading my profile and responding accordingly.

darlingdiana​(sub female) • Dec 24, 2023

i think we can see why the response rate is low for these senders and rather than hear what subs prefer and want, they need cast a net or "tell us" why its how it is. Hmmm interesting,
Except for that one who is not trying trying to date us ; ) ps.visa versa from These Forum writers in this Forum.
Amen also, YES, say it Sisters!
I guess for these Gentlemen their box will remain empty, and our boxes closed tight. lol
That's ok...i hear this year the Stockings are HUNG *high five*

dollMaker​(dom male) • Dec 24, 2023

No