Sub looking for advice

trappedperhaps​(sub female) • Jan 25, 2024

Yes find things to do like hobbies. I’m currently putting together a 2000 pc puzzle of a starry night & could fit the most order are less what D is doing.
Be with people that make you laugh as much as possible. Get out & go places & do things. Even on your own. I I ya good for you trust me. It feels good too.
Be strong you can do it. In the end he may decide he needs you instead of the other way around ~ best wishes & always stay positive thinking. Meaning think positive thoughts & smile. It makes you feel better believe it or not. Try it. What do you have to lose?

Miki​(masochist female) • Jan 25, 2024

Without reading too many posts I'll keep it brief because no doubt you saw this already. Find a hobby, get involved with friends without the spectre of budding romances / attractions.

This guy may be affected, too, or maybe not .but if he snapped it off after "mistakes" without trying to work it out... Seems as though he had less "invested" emotionally than you.

Do other things, keep busy (yeah easier written than done but you gotta break the cycle)

Most of all, should he "come back 'round again--- don't jump. Talk it over, tell the dude you were hurt and being hurt again is not an option.

Take your sweet-ass time and do the baby step shit (not step in baby shit) If he is genuine he'll ride along with you. If he has not learned / changed then he should know not to let the door slap his ass on the way out.

Tools like those are a dime a dozen. The trick is to find and cultivate something meaningful.

Good luck!

AdamDragon​(dom male) • Jan 28, 2024

Even the most experienced still need advice or guidance. I’ve read thru the comments and your initial post and there is no mention of him trying to upgrade his knowledge or skills/training , if he even has any training. This falls back to the one thing most lost of many Doms. Responsibility. If he takes this relationship serious, it is his responsibility to do whatever it takes to find the balance. One can never truly “turn things off”. It’s who and what we are on a deeper level. It doesn’t just go away. Even choosing to push it aside, it’s always there. Wanting and needing.
Perhaps he can seek some advice from a more seasoned more experienced Dominant, not so much as a Mentor, but as a fellow Dominant seeking advice. In My opinion, there is no such thing as “done all he could do”. Again if he wants this to work out with you then perhaps it’s time he exercised his responsibility.
I wish you both success. 🪢