Submissive verses Slave

Nitrev​(dom male) • Mar 9, 2024

I wanted to wait for Twinkle to respond before answering, but I'm a big advocate of your lifestyle relationship being individual and up to you and your partner(s) to figure out the terms of your relationship. These are are all fair game. Subs can consider themselves owned, you don't have to be called a slave to be owned, and somebody can identify as a slave and only do so temporarily. It's not conventional, but it's also none of my business.

A Master/Mistress and slave dynamic is usually 24/7. You've probably heard for TPE: Total Power Exchange. It is submitting the totality of control to your Dom/me, continuing to live the lifestyle outside of scenes, 24/7. Usually people that engage in TPE will identify with the slave role. The keyword in TPE is exchange: slaves give up that control to the Dom/me as an exchange for the Dom to use that control to take care of them. Slaves can also seek to take care of their Dom/mes, providing things like housework or sexual services, but the difference is those services are in the immediate, short term conveniences to remove some burden from the Dom/me's lives, but slave does these things on the promise and belief in their Dom/me to provide them with long term sustainability, structure, simplifying their lives and responsibilities, and a higher quality of living than can be had individually. That exchange is essential to the relationship between a Master/Mistress and slave: slave gives up the controls that best enable Master/Mistress to build the lives they want and even more. If slave does not do their part, the Master/Mistress can not do theirs as well, and if the Master/Mistress does not do theirs, the slave has no reason to do theirs.

So it's not that a slave cannot disobey, but when you're in a dynamic that functions at its best when the two sides are doing their part to make it work, why would you disobey, unless you did not feel good about where the relationship is/is going? We are adults, and we should realize that there shouldn't be a need for sabotaging behavior and it's in our best interests to work together if we are in a TPE. It's something I think about with brats: bratting has a wide array ranging from light playful jabbing to extremes like lashing out and flat out disrespect, and it's considered as part of the fun, but if a TPE best functions when the slave and Master are doing their part, then that acting out becomes self-sabotaging. And it's not that the Dom/me barks orders, but that the slave by their position has put their faith in the Dom/me to lead and that means also utilizing the slave in the ways that best realize those goals that we entered into a relationship for in the first place.

And I know you were saying this in reference to fake Dom/mes, and you may already know this, but I want to explain it for anyone that doesn't understand the dynamic between the two roles.

Last that I want to mention is that 24/7 is not 'just' for slaves. Pets, littles, bimbos, dolls, etc. can also be in 24/7 dynamics with their own sets of rules

farashacaveluv • Mar 12, 2024

They are not interchangeable. I would definitely not engage with anyone who does such things. There has to be a clear line.

Literate Lycan​(dom male) • Mar 12, 2024

Ultimately these are just variations of titles that we like to use. It is a starting point but quite often these terms are on a sliding scale (within a certain distance) based upon the individuals and their interactions and partners. I especially enjoyed what Morley wrote above and it captures pretty much how I feel. To be clear, most civilized societies outlawed slavery a very long time ago. A true slave has absolutely zero choice including over life and death. But within our community, there is a broad band as to what a slave is, tending from some slaves being less submissive than submissives to some slaves having absolutely no thoughts of their own enjoying the chain and the collar. In a fantasy setting of their mind, it gives them a safe space.

TPE - Total power Exchange - also has some degree of perspective and applies to submissives as well as slaves. Many submissive types indicate they have slave tendencies. I tend to view those identifying as slave to be intent upon finding someone who will Master them. They will perhaps have less of a voice in their interactions?

In the end, it’s honestly how do you like to view yourself within your dynamic with your partner? Yes, some of you will indicate you wouldn’t interact with someone who used the terms interchangeably. That’s Jim Dandy! But apparently we can call ourselves a cat and everyone needs to bow down to how we view ourselves, so if someone wishes to view themselves as a slave within the confines of their dynamic, that shouldn’t ruffle any feathers.

I just see identifying as a slave is along the spectrum of submission, because you are submitting. Perhaps in your mind you are in a deeper submission; however, I know a number of submissives who do not identify as slave, yet are so deep in their commitment and submission that you would be hard pressed to find a difference.

tmo50nv​(sub male) • Mar 15, 2024

Being a submissive it is very frustrating when talk with a potential dom and she calls me slave. Thats when I have to explain that I am not, nor will This sub be anyone's slave. Some get it but most do not? When a text comes in addressed slave, This sub will not answer it, in fact it gets deleted

tmosubNV

I'mME • Mar 15, 2024

tmo50nv,

Hi. The very fact that someone (a stranger) uses a label when they write you makes me think they have no knowledge of BDSM and the large sub-category of Authority exchange relationships....