Identity Crisis - Has anyone else experienced this?

LoveandDevotion​(sub female){Looking} • Jun 7, 2024

I'm a sub. I don't like being demeaned or humiliated at all. I have a praise fetish instead and love pleasing my Dom to earn a "good girl".

My Master is not sadistic at all, even though I have a masochistic streak it's okay for us. He is into light spanking and stuff sure, but he doesn't want to do anything rough. I like rough stuff, but above all I love pleasing my Master so if HE doesn't like it, I wouldn't like it. He does agree to brand me though if we get married, which has been a long term fantasy of mine and even though obviously that'll be very painful, for him it's about owning me and that turns him on.

What I'm saying is different people are different.

Some people are on here to "play" with a vast majority of people. Maybe a lot of them like Doms and subs to be clearly defined so that they aren't encountering something they don't like? I don't know.

I joined, and many do, to try to find my ONE partner. I'm monogamous. So for me it's about finding a fit, and not every Dom fits, in fact many don't because they DO insist on demeaning, assuming every sub wants that. They don't. I'm not the only sub who finds being called names a turn off.

Stop worrying about what defines a Dom and instead be upfront and honest about who you are and what you like (and what you'd be open to trying) and eventually you'll find a sub (or subs if you aren't monogamous) who do align with what you're looking for. We are not a monolith.

MsSugarplum​(sub female) • Jun 7, 2024

I am a masochistic Little with both a praise and degradation kink… and 3 months ago I didn’t know any of that. In fact I would have said I absolutely wasn’t a masochist and please don’t ever be mean to me! But then I met a Sadist who didn’t realise he was also a Daddy and we learned a lot about ourselves from each other.

My point is.. don’t get hung up on labels or trying to fit in a defined box. You like what you like and want what you want.

Ingénue{VK} • Jun 7, 2024

I enjoy having an identity crisis at least once every six months or so. Stops complacency!