chris hamlin
|
6 years ago •
Oct 15, 2018
6 years ago •
Oct 15, 2018
Hello all Submissives and Dominants:
i am submissive man who wishes he was a submissive Woman. Bisexual and humble, now an elderly man, i have had the sublime joy of being used by many people all my life.. It excites me when a man or Woman treats me with contempt and even disgust as my mouth is used as my sex organ. One way sex, where my mouth pleases but I never receive any gratification myself. i am there to be used by my Master or Mistress and, when the moment is over, ordered to leave.
My profile and blogs describe what i do but for this introduction, i thought i would focus on my feelings and emotional state. As a lifelong member of the sexual underground, most of my submission has been to men, most of whom simply enjoy receiving
what i do.
But there are men who get excited at their power over me, becoming demanding and downright nasty toward me, i have been slapped and spat on and treated like a piece of dirt a man can grind under his shoes. I deserve it.
i have served Women who were ahead of their time in this age of feminist freedom and the Me Too Movement but not many. Most of the Women i have served were with their husbands, experimenting. i loved that most Women treated me with the same contempt as men do. Several Women have told me they felt sorry for me.
Oh, how i worship Women! Women are smart, sophisticated and sensitive. I am praying for the day when Women will take over everything and relegate men to ditch diggers and farm laborers. i so wish i was a Woman because i would love being on a winning team.
Several Women have told me they feel safe with me because i am not man enough to harm them. The disdain of Women excites me. A Woman is never in a submissive position with me. She is always in charge. i am the submissive one.. i am a nothing. She knows it and i know it. i am grateful to be used by a superior Goddess who i worship and adore.
Occasionally, I pay professional Dominant Women to allow me to lick their feet and worship them. While i don’t serve many Women, i feel more comfortable with Women than i do with men.
At this point in my life i have experimented with almost everything submissive at least once or twice. i have been suspended, immobilized, clamped, cuffed, CBT’d, pegged, whipped, slapped, gagged, teased, tortured, at least once. While i adore the idea of most of these things i don’t crave them as much as i crave oral servitude and humiliation and now that i am older i must be more careful.
i notice that after my cock was whipped two weeks ago it is taking longer to heal than normal. It still has traces of black and blue. my knees hurt more now when i crawl for someone. It is a sign that my body can no longer take rough handling.
i have always been an exhibitionist and adore being watched. When i was barely legal, I was invited to gay sex parties where the men would watch me doing everything imaginable. As a result, several men gave me money for posing for a porn pictures for porn films (mostly black and white in those days)). Over the years, lots of people have photographed me having kinky sex (usually with a mask). Since, i am into photography, i have been helpful to people who want to be discretely photographed or filmed with their own camera in the digital age.
i love to write about the things i have done. It is sort of my written exhibitionism. It excites me that people know how pathetic i am and i love it when someone acknowledges my low state with an insulting note. While i correspond with others i confine my activities to live local people in the Los Angeles, CA area. i do not skype anymore.
i love the feeling of being helpless. When a man contacts me for a blow job, i have no power to refuse him and he knows it. He is the strong one and i am too weak to refuse him. i have no control over myself and my life. i exist to be used.
When a Woman orders me to do something for Her, She knows i cannot refuse –the mere fact that She has addressed me, puts me under Her control. i love being owned by a Woman. It isn’t sex – it is being under a Woman’s control and trying to be completely obedient to Her. i love the powerful look of satisfaction on a Woman’s face when She realizes She owns me and i worship Her.
i am submissive in my vanilla real life world too. i’m retired but i serve an extended family of men and women, gay and straight, helping people to the doctor, arranging things, getting medicines, making people safe and comfortable. my time is not my own. i like helping people and i am pleased that people depend on me and that i can serve them.
Over the years i have experimented with live-in situations where i was a live in slave but for one reason or anther it never worked out. my Masters or Mistress tired of me and wanted to replace me with new meat. i prefer serving different people with different needs i can satisfy.
Anyway, this is who I am. I am thrilled to be a member here and hope to meet and exchange ideas with both Dominant and submissive members of this group both male and female and in between.. I hope you will accept me as I am, with no pretension, but with honesty and humility.
chris
|