How to be a better dom in and outta bedroom

How to be a better dom in and outta bedroom

Zamariz​(sub female) • Mar 10, 2025

My little has been very bratty and making it hard to do punishments and gets me angry. looking for tips on how to stay calm but also be firm so i dont get her sad or outta the mood. I need ideas how to present my dom role in a public setting but also not low key. also tips for both sexual and non sexual punishments as I want this lifestyle to be in and outta the bedroom and enjoyable for me and my pet.

TwinkleEyes​{n/a} • Mar 10, 2025

I am confused 🤔 Your profile states submissive. And using lower case i rather than I denotes submission. “ firm so i dont get her sad or outta the mood”.

I’m sure there will be those who have good advice. I find the post along with the profile to be antithetical. I can’t wrap my head around the contradictions.

There are many female submissive who will also have very good advice on this. Not just Male D types.

Miki • Mar 10, 2025

Also.. your profile says you're 23. Relax, be observant of others and know that there is no "one size fits all" for doms or subs aside from the obvious need of any relationship, really. Communicate. Converse thoroughly, (especially outside the roles. That fosters more honesty) --- listen thoughtfully and use mistakes as teaching / learning moments.

Other than that, relax, have fun, and enjoy the moments as they come.

House Talion​(dom male) • Mar 11, 2025

More info of the dynamic and said relations needed for an informed response

MidSummerDream​(neither female)​{BothHold🗝} • Mar 12, 2025

From what I understand, "They share an account - some couples do. She is asking on his behalf business even if its her account they both agreed they are just asking to reach out together for help.

Communication is key to togetherness - Bonding in connection with romance engages in outings or make dates indoor and outdoors to embrace the love of your dynamic.

The Leading Hand the Dom needs to understand a little needs attention proper love and time with company with romance, tease the mind and princess parts with discipline out of love.Does not always have to be they are bad but more naughty they get it also cause well they are cute you fucking adore them you both enjoy out love and the passion.

Domestic Discipline You the Dom become the discipliner its your job to educate yourself and lead take the hand and show the way and allow them to grow. But also to educate each other, be there for each other in the thick and thin, the good and the bad bring it back takes team work you both hold the key why both need to agree on this.


Dom - master thyself with your sub by sharing what you like and don't like what she likes , practice what works and if their a problem work on it.
Sub make a drink for your Dom but please him yourself wear cute dainty things with your butt exposed like spanking skirt/dress no panties and sorta just come in the living room when come in from a long day with your ass bent over in front of him think of being the naughty wife that is temping to get a spanking be well loved and fucked.

Put a spoon in the kitchen for a start, have it hanging on the door so you know what its for its for maintenance spanking your place those red marks to know you are owned to your Dom - you must get a spank your ass will be red for a while and won't sit right but sit on pillow. Your Dom needs to take care of your behind by putting cream on before and after and you might need a day of rest.

Imagine your relationship with your creation as you go keep it bit classy romance & mystery with soft core risque naughty and whispering lingering erotica &dancing & holding hands, watching tv, giggling in the backyard by the fire, whatever it may be & enter with courtship lead it to seductive measure's were you both on the edge to share the passion and bond together.

Doms do need a break and space from a long day or from doing work around the house so giving them space is good the Sub can keep themselves busy by cleaning or working out. Make dinner together or just make food for each other, do self care and after care practice tantra to bring you both closer. As subs need space also give but spoil her by washing her feet pleasure her feet and tickle her with a feather.

To help you both ache for.
Sub needs to ache for to be punished just crawl on your ass showing in position with kneeling ass spread and ready.
Your Dom needs to ache to paddle your bottom be addicted to your ass and mind and holes you are valuable property needs to be disciplined daily with love. Sub work on doing being cute and naughty why the Dom lays down little leads out of love being like a teacher with a ruler ready to discipline when ready.
Investing in good paddles does need to be a lot but shop around, find naughty wear for the sub and something for the dom to spice it up. Play to stay together, use your mind & imagination, invest in inspiration, sexually arouse the mind with erotica as even visually to both get you both to the edge to the bliss of your sexual peak. It's really how you both on how you want to do it.

Invest in good books, movies, pictures, stories of erotica and spanking, but play it safe also with safe and sane with consent.

There are many things you can do for free to read and tools you can find in your local kitchen and hardware store to get you started until you work up to more.
Find a kinky store, or whatever, even if you both have to do a bit of a drive or go online, but this both gets you excited and gets you in the atmosphere which will help your sex life. Even at Spencer's in the mall, they have bondage and sex kits for couples and body stockings, and it's for all sizes and it's sexy.


Think Naughty, Talk Naughty. Sway the body in sexual desire music and wear think it be it be aroused live in it as you dive in to something taboo. Bring the sex alive. Touching , Risk of safe love with pleasure.





Taboos


Erotica


Dominant In The Bedroom


Distant (And How to Fix It)


Take her hand and lead


How BDSM & Domestic Discipline Works ( to be clear two way street sub still needs a voice both share the key) Some of this Ok but not all but takes two people people. You have to allow the sub the sub has as say time and place. The Dom and Sub need to work together. The Dom and Sub need respect both together. Sub should never be silent but sexually in the scene but sub has a say if they want the Dom to take over only sexually. Things can go wrong why you need limits and agreeing with after care. Without communication, there is no relationship. Without respect, there is no love. Without trust, there is no reason to continue. Time and place for everything still Ives n reality.

BigDomAZ​(dom male) • May 24, 2025

I have not read everything on this message board yet. But as a Dom to over 12 subs in the past not all at one time.

Here are the things I will say and keep it short and to the point

1. Set up a contract with your sub that details the relationship, punishments, do's and dont's, maybe's, and always ask for a time frame for the contract to be renewed. For example 3mo 6mo 9mo 1yr. At that time you can redo the contract or if everything is good renew for another period.

2. Have the sub have multiple safe words. I always ask them to use 3 words. 1 for they are uncomfortable, 1 for They are almost at the limit, 1 is to halt everything. Now the last word you need to specify in the contract if that means to just stop the current events or the whole thing.

3. Both parties need to be honest with each other or it will end in disaster. I know this from my first 2 subs.

4. Always have a safe space to do your activities in. Dont do them in public unless you can protect both parties.

5. Remember as a Dom you have the most responsibilities in the relationship. You need to fulfill your subs wishes and also be there to protect them. You have to make sure you dont do something in anger and always have your head clear during you sessions.

6. Never start off a long term relationship until you have gone through 3 contracts and always help your subs be better either in their work or personal lives.

If anyone has questions please send me a message or reply to this post and i will try to answer.

I have been looking for the long term relationship but all my subs with my help improve their work and have moved up the ladder and that means i have to let them go.

Bellexoxo​(sub female)​{Training} • May 25, 2025

Read. Learn. That's what they say we should do as subs id guess it's the same if not more important for those leading them.

Master W​(dom male)​{Busy} • May 25, 2025

Educate and develop yourself. There's a lot of education that has to be done. A lot of self-development that I don't think is talked about enough. A lot of us want to be leaders but don't have the necessary things in place in our own personal lives. I understand the thrill of wanting to get into Kink but there's a lot of internal work that has to be done first. Especially when we talk about moving outside of the bedroom. Being a leader in real life. Dealing with attitudes or just another person's emotions requires emotional intelligence. So pace yourself understand this is a journey and begin your education.