As a masochist, what do you like and dislike about pain?

As a masochist, what do you like and dislike about pain?

New slut owner​(dom male) • May 2, 2025

Questions for the masochists among us. I am sadistic, btw.

As a masochist, what do you like and dislike about pain?
How does good pain give you pleasure, what do you feel?
What do you like about it?
Is close to your pain threshold good, or is it better to endure/enjoy below that threshold for a longer period?
In specific terms, pain inflicted how works best for you?

As the sadistic side of us, I love to please my slut, but, the last couple of times I flogged her I went too far too quick. She called our safe word way before I was ready to slow down. I have a cat of 9 tails which I think works well, maybe that is too much for her.

Asking here because she prefers me to take charge rather than her to say what she likes. I want to get a few ideas to play with and having a better understaning of what others like may help.

Love being part of a community where I can speak openly about this subject.

NarahPrimal​(sub female) • May 2, 2025

Hmm ok for me pain clears my mind it allows the world to go quiet and disappear. Something I can't seem to find on my own when my world gets chaotic.
There is probably nothing of the top of my head I can think that I don't like about it.
For me I can push past the pain and the world goes quiet and then the sudden sharp sting of say a crop brings you back down.
I am a heavy thud girl.
I think every masochist is diffrent in how the handle pain some are pain sluts some may not have that high of a pain threshold or craving.
I think my question to you would be is she a true masochist?
Is she just trying to please you and deal with the pain?
My first time with impact was in the cross.. the D type was exp and went through every single tool with me before using it... He asked my permission and checked in regularly
I am not a Dominant but I would think that sitting down with her to the point of saying its not safe for us to play together until we can discuss things further for her safety.

friendlyfire​(masochist female) • May 2, 2025

Just whipping someone isn't sadomasochism. It's abuse. Pain is a release. You are to release the masochist from their pain with a tempered alternative, not inflict more. You define a whip and you define the release, this is YOUR release, not theirs. Pain remains in motion unless acted upon by an equal or unequal force. Check in with your partner more what they're needing. It's not about you and your new toys.

Jasmine usa​(sub female) • May 2, 2025

As a masochist, what do you like and dislike about pain?
I like, like other subs have said, that the pain quiets my mind. I usually have so much chaos and stress going on, and it's nearly impossible for me to turn my brain off. But when I overwhelm my body, and all I can focus on is the sensations, it's so relieving. Pain grabs my attention in a way pleasure doesn't. I think I have to be present in the moment for pleasure to become overwhelming, whereas pain steals my attention regardless of where my mind is at. Sometimes desiring pain can feel shameful, and sometimes it can be hard to walk the line between what feels "good" and what just doesn't. That's what I would say I dislike.

How does good pain give you pleasure, what do you feel?
As explained above, good pain gives me mental clarity. A release, a relief. My body itself feels more alive, more sensitive. More in tune with itself.

What do you like about it?
All the reasons above.

Is close to your pain threshold good, or is it better to endure/enjoy below that threshold for a longer period?
I'd imagine this varies for each person, but personally I prefer the endurance. Slowly turning up the amount of pain, and I mean slowly, until I truly can't take it anymore. Shocking my body with intense pain, vs warming myself up to the intensity, doesn't have the same results I'm looking for when I'm seeking pain.

In specific terms, pain inflicted how works best for you?
I'm learning new ways everyday but generally, following everything above, anything that leaves marks on my body and/or makes me cry are huge. And pain inflicted sensually vs violently. I think that's an important difference as well.

Hope that all makes sense lol

New slut owner​(dom male) • May 3, 2025

Thank you all for the replies.

Yes, she is a masochist, no doubt. She is seriously turned on by some of our pain play.

Very much I am taking her well being and pleasure into consideration. The main issue, both on this topic and a few others, is she is not good at expressing what she wants.

No, I don't think me overstepping her upper threshold is abuse, if as it seems to me, she is very happy below that threshold, then I need to learn that level. I am guessing that the threshold is different with different methods.

For now, I know that spanking her herd with my hand works for her. Also has the bonus of reddening her ass cheeks nicely, which I love.

She enjoys hot wax. We have been using massage candles, which are low temperature, but she has asked for hotter. That is something I need to be careful of.

Thanks all.

MidSummerDream​(neither female)​{BothHold🗝} • May 3, 2025

However you want to be as long as it's safe.
Passion two people enjoy the passion with pain and pleasure unite with the dynamic in to a bond both sharing and discovering things. The art of dynamic passion. You have to treat someone more then fantasy beyond that they are human, but you have to enjoy the passion with. It's fine to be fantasy as long as you respect does not turn in to addiction and using hurts two people. . Has to be a bit more respectful or loses connection in dynamic. Pain is done with calmness and safety with protection. And performed well. Everyone Pandora kink box is different but sharing is caring, so you find yours, they do theirs, let it be.

Take soft , hard , red , bruised or more, yes, as long done right. I been bruised up it goes away you self care for it and time do in places people can't depend. I been black and blue in breast time will only tell you trust me as you get more in to it with hood you can take pain.

Their all kinds of pain but not all pain is the same. But the mind and body have to be stimulated with intimacy and touch, slowly building up the passion to go to the edge of bliss. Dancing , romantic dinner , holding hands so on slowly building into more with romance.

Pinching pain on suction cups , breast device with pinchers but does not go into the skin. Being caressed caned or whipped as long as cream is put in areas only done slowly not hit on certain parts of the body. Everything is talked of agreed on safe words are in place. Tried many things, tested but done safely. Even with electo. It's good to know the person's health history if they have parts can't be touched do to surgery's or recovery. Good to research and learn as you go over time finding what you like don not like keep going good to take breaks. Time and place for it. Person can not be in rope for long do to circulation soft rope is good to use as well. But should all way's be safety safe and sane and after care.

Electro Bed Therapy
Still playing it safe: But to get sadistic and maso like this about it: https://darknessporn.com/13896-sandy-electro-bed-torture/

One thing hooks in the back going through the skin into the ribs is eeekk No thanks some things just gone to far.

Both may change roles at times, but it's up to them and their dynamic, and your dynamic with your person who you do a scene with works out with them. Stop if they need to talk to them never force but confort them support them. Bring erotica with romance light the fire two have to exchange of passion can not just be one two have to build together.
Write a list also also and goals within the lifestyle.
Don't get hooked on the idea of getting off to seek it explore it and try yourself if you have to even alone even Dom try's sub stuff before then get one so they know that they keep their person in one piece. Pain takes time, not all pain is the same, it can never be forced, should never be out of desperation play with caution.
Unprotected sexual encounters are not safe sex. Unprotected sex can lead to unwanted pregnancies and sexually transmitted infections (STIs). To reduce the risk of pregnancy and STIs, it is crucial to practice safe sex by using barrier methods like condoms or dental dams during every sexual encounter,
The statement "encounters are not safe" is too broad. Encounters can be safe or unsafe depending on the context. For example, a police encounter can be safe if you remain calm and cooperative, but a bear encounter requires different safety measures. Never meet a stranger get to know people know one needs to end of on the road side naked or ending up in the Er. Sure, you can have thrills and desire, but don't let it be the next top news horror story because a body bag was found.That is danger stranger know your limits and keep them. Play it safe make friends have fun.

bdsamworld​(sub female) • May 4, 2025

I used to being a masochist as a way to torture myself because I was not in the best mental state during those times. While on my "healing journey" and doing real work on myself I had to see if I still could be a masochist. I honestly didn't think I could be a masochist after I started working on myself because the emotion and feeling of pain was completely different. Pain before working on myself was like a dull ache, any pain. Didn't matter if the pain felt should be thuddy, stingy, or sharp, I always felt it as a dully ache.

Now when I feel pain it's completely different. It can be sharp, stingy, thuddy, a deep massage type of muscular pain, or a very uncomfortable pain. And now I can achieve more amazing and deeper orgasms from it or even multiple. There are things before I didn't enjoy before that now bring me pleasure through pain. Like something hitting my cervix right before I get my period or during. Other people I know don't like that pain, even as masochist.

Naturally there are other pains that can be felt that just ARENT pleasurable. Hahaha. Like freaking dental work, ugh give me all the drugs you can during dental work. Biggest baby when it comes to that. Hahaha. I also have lumps called lipomas. They absolutely hurt when touched, smacked, or squeezed. So like that pain is naturally not good to me.

I love being a masochist because I learn so much about myself. I love the feeling of how strong I am, as I see strength in the pain. There is also this send of pride I feel after a session. Like hey I just didn't that! Especially when the goal is push my time limit or try out a new implement. And then there is this amazing feeling of how the pain can spread throughout my body as like an energy, or like its part of my blood. I don't know how else to explain it, but it's the pleasure that radiates through me.

I have found it interesting though that depending on where I'm at in my cycle I can "endure" pain for longer or I can't tolerate it as much. It's fascinating how my cycle can dictate so many interesting things.

Pain can be a delicious thing, but everyone needs to know their limits, express their limits, and when it's not fun or enjoyable anymore take a step back.

Bunnie • May 4, 2025

Firstly, she needs to understand that her unwillingness to communicate actually puts *you* at risk. Thresholds are not one-sided, and they’re definitely not only about how many times someone can handle being hit.
Play sessions that revolve around mutual respect, need communication… that way *everyone* stays safe… Top included. What do you stay safe from? You stay safe from accidentally taking the bottom to a place they don’t want to go. If it’s a place they’re not aware of, that happens (and communication is definitely needed there to get past it), but if it’s a place they are aware of and simply don’t want to voice that they have limits, that puts you both in danger of creating harm to eachother… them, possibly physically and mentally, and you… mentally. No one (sane) wants to cause avoidable harm, and the bottom, by being unwilling to communicate, is making it difficult for you to do that.

Bunnie • May 4, 2025

As for the pain…
For me it depends on the type of pain. My former Sir loved to cane me “cold.” That was nasty and not pleasurable… but for me there was a satisfaction in that. Not a practice to be done without considerable communication.
If I was “warmed-up,” that was generally for a long session- working up through implements from “softer” ones to “harder” ones.
I’ve also found that if sexual stimulation is added my pain tolerance is a lot higher.

I enjoy a mixture of creativity. For me it’s about creating a story together. There might be some dull pain, which is switched up to something stingy, then shifted more towards an enduring type of predicament play. There are so many different ways in which we can suffer.
The first thing to establish is if she prefers suffering as opposed to simply pain… big difference in my book… and that will definitely help with knowing which “pain” path to take. For example, predicament vs flogging. Some people enjoy simply receiving pain (being hurt). Whereas some (myself included), enjoy enduring pain (“being put through the motions to see what they can tolerate”).

The bottom line is that to create any kind of complete satisfaction for everyone involved, discussions need to be had, so that you can learn eachother. The most satisfying aspect of S&m for me is having someone creep into my mind via the manipulation of my body, and turn it all into a playground for us both to explore.