Problems with only really getting to dom as a switch

Problems with only really getting to dom as a switch

Jinxxer​(switch trans man) • Aug 17, 2025

I've been playing around with BDSM and specifically light dom sub stuff with my gf and she's also a switch. But she leans very heavily into sub and so have all the other sexual partners I've had. How do I deal with my own submissive needs not being met? I have talked to my gf about this many times and it's just how she is.

Mistress Kassandra​(dom female) • Aug 17, 2025

Sounds like she is not really a switch. If she really is only a submissive, talking won't matter.

Valore • Sep 6, 2025

Based off the limited information, It really does sound like the 'heavily sub' is possibly the 'only sub'.

Without having insight into what you both have discussed, perhaps she is inexperienced as a domme... and therefore struggling to incorporate that into a natural flow that will excite both of you.

I know that I have struggled with this before myself, though if it has been discussed and it seems like no real progress is being made or even attempted towards switching it up, then I'd lean more towards her being a sub who could possibly be utilizing your Dom and not going to give any Domme.

Hopefully it's just an empathic discussion away from a solution, but don't be blind sided either.

Little Vixie​(sub female)​{Mgh30} • Sep 7, 2025

I would sit down and talk with her. Unfortunately you cant force someone to be something you need if it makes them uncomfortable. I cant tell you the amount of times I have had switch men tell me that they are happy with topping, but want to bottom with me. I am submissive. It's frustrating to not have your needs met, but this is defintely a conversation you need to have with her. If you don't then she won't know how you feel and it just makes things unknown.

Bunnie • Sep 8, 2025

I’m unsure if I misunderstood, but if it’s an option to have other partners, could you not find one who is solely Dominant?

Miss Anima​(dom female) • Sep 11, 2025

"Submissives needs " are to serve not get

Lightnin'​(dom male) • Sep 12, 2025

I'm a straight up Dom but every once in a while I can sure go for some serious humility! It's in me and it simply has to come out. If she truly servers you and cannot give you what you really need, then she should at least witness one who can!