Can You Truly Call Yourself Obedient

Can You Truly Call Yourself Obedient

Mistress Madonna​(dom female) • Oct 30, 2025

What does true obedience mean to you when words and actions don’t match? I’m curious how different subs define service beyond the surface.

magicHands​(dom male) • Oct 31, 2025

Why would there only be one way? Different people have very different scars and fears and sensitive areas where they maybe making an equal level of effort/submission/trust but but not going as far (at first) because specific things might be harder for them.

The more control demanded by a dominant makes them more they are responsible for the happiness/well being of their submissive. Part of that is not pushing them farther or faster than they are ready for.

A submissive that is trusting you with that which scares them, or is difficult for them is no less submissive just because they move slowly on things they have more issues or bagage with.

Also the assumption that "words and actions don’t match" presumes the actions in question mean the same thing to all people which is rarely the case. Two people may reasonably see the same action as having more or less meaning than the other. It is not wrong. It is just two different people with two different experiences seeing things differently. Have they been asked why they did a thing that seemed out of place? And was that answer genuinely listened to? So that there understanding/thinking could be followed allowing you to better guide them?

Are they trusting you, and following your instruction even when it scares or upsets them? If not is that because of them or because they have not been show they can trust you? Submission is something that is earned. Not something that is demanded.

Mistress Madonna​(dom female) • Oct 31, 2025

I appreciate your input, but let’s be clear my question wasn’t about invalidating anyone’s pace or experiences. It was about accountability and the alignment between what someone says they want and what they’re actually doing to embody it.

Obedience isn’t one-size-fits-all, but it does require integrity. A sub can move slowly and still be obedient, the difference lies in intention and follow-through.

I know what it takes to build trust and guide someone safely through surrender. My post was meant to explore how others define that balance not to be lectured on the basics of consent and care.

— Miss Madonna

Anna Lynn​(sub female) • Oct 31, 2025

{”What does true obedience mean to you when words and actions don’t match?”}

There could be a variety of issues at play, and I don’t want to make assumptions. Could you provide a bit more context?

{“I’m curious how different subs define service beyond the surface.”}

True submission requires a sincere desire to serve and obey; without this, it will lack depth and authenticity. The motivation for genuine service and obedience comes from the meaningful connection between the submissive partner and their Dominant.

It's a delicate balance of give and take between both partners. Submission should never be forced.

Defender​(dom male) • Oct 31, 2025

"Can You Truly Call Yourself Obedient?"


Of course you can, if you want to.

You can call yourself anything.

If it helps, maybe ask the opinion of the person you submit to?

Mistress Madonna​(dom female) • Oct 31, 2025

What?🤦🏽‍♀️

Miss Anima​(dom female) • Oct 31, 2025

words and actions don’t match
It's the called the same thing as in vanilla life.

darlingdiana​(sub female)​{Master Ron} • Oct 31, 2025

To a MASTER i have agreed to trust, agreed to be soley in a dynamic with and submitted to, it means whatever He says. Including ousting my best answers (or so i think) down to “DONT say anything- just OBEY” “Im NOT going to argue whenever I tell you to do something”. These were actual growing pains many moons ago.
*blushes*

darlingdiana​(sub female)​{Master Ron} • Oct 31, 2025

Lolol 🤣

NarahPrimal​(sub female) • Nov 24, 2025

This is a tricky question to answer as a sub
My first thought why would you submit to someone if your words and actions don't match🤔.. This has me a little confused.
Me personally I do not submit to just anyone it takes the right D type.
Maybe some may see submission as a game and that words speak louder than actions or maybe they simply do not understand what the depth of true submission is.
Being the sub that I am the biggest disappointment that I can have is knowing that I have not pleased so in my brain I can't understand why one would not follow through