ADHD, submission, and lifestyle control

ADHD, submission, and lifestyle control

FranB​(kinky male) • Jan 31, 2026

More about the health of the submissive. Do dominant partners like having control over a consenting submissives health decisions? Let me explain.

ADHD impacts the executive function which manages memory, self control, and focus. Medication helps but it doesn't get rid of The ADHD. It just makes it easier for the person to manage.

My question lies in the consent of allowing someone to manage a person's lifestyle choice so that certain disciplines such as Urgency-Based Motivation and consequence-based motivation will help the person achieve their goals.

Is this something that's available in the kink world or is it something that's already implemented?

Em In Submission​(sub female) • Jan 31, 2026

I suspected I've had ADHD for a while but recently (within the last 6 months) diagnosed and taking medication. It's made a huge difference in my life. That being said - my previous Doms seemed to naturally navigate facets of my ADHD without ever having a label on them. I already had a good CBT toolbox to deal with my ADHD tendencies (executive dysfunction, impulsivity, emotional dysregulation, etc) and the Doms I click best with seem to have effortlessly implemented those strategies as part of their natural dominant tendencies. This may have been intentional or not on their part. They communicated expectations clearly. They let me know that not meeting those expectations would have consequences, and told me what those were.

I have always been able to navigate my executive dysfunction with my people pleasing needs. I would weaponize it against myself by telling someone to tell me they'd be disappointed if I didn't do x,y,z. That's built in to a dynamic - so that works well for me.

I also think my expression of less desirable ADHD traits when I didn't have a good hold on them was through brattiness (pushing boundaries for a dopamine rush, being stuck in decision paralysis and getting frustrated etc), so my partners seemed to have enjoyed that bit and it was mutually beneficial / fulfilling on both ends.

I think if someone was seeking out a dynamic to simply navigate their ADHD then it's not well intentioned and has ulterior motives. But I do believe the dynamic naturally lends to helping those with ADHD as a side effect / bonus and can be fulfilling on both ends. As a sub I crave structure and clear communication but I'm not always great at implementing that myself. I'm not always able to show up for myself, but my pleasing tendencies ensure I will show up for others and not let them down. Doms I typically connect with want to nurture, lead, create a structure for the dynamic to exist within and be consistent in.

IowaDom​(dom male) • Feb 1, 2026

Tread carefully with this particular label "ADHD". As a youngster of about 10 years old, immediatly after my parents divorce, a doctor at Portsmouth Naval placed that diagnosis on me. First it was ritalin, then dexedrine later on - the end result was no clear memory of my life between 10 and 15 years of age, with only a few major instances being able to be recalled. Oh sure - I was a model student - and a walking zombie. Then, my mom was taking me to live with my dad one summer day, and they forgot to get my meds refilled. So .. 5 days, no meds. Got to my dads house TOTALLY out of the medication fog, so he came up to my room to give me some meds to get me started on them again, and I revolted. A 2 story, 4 bedroom house he had just moved into, and we had a physical fight through every room for several hours as he tried to force me to take it. Finally we lay exhausted, side by side in the kitchen, and he looked at me and said " you're not taking this, are you?" "Never again Dad, never again. You can toss me out in the street if you must, but never again " was my reply. We found other ways to get along, I learned how to do it all without being drugged.

Now don't get me wrong, in all my growing up that was the only time we ever got into ANY kind of physical altercation of any serious level, hell, he never even spanked me that I can recall. He was a good man, and a wonderful father, and I miss him to this day and suppose I always will. The doctors had convinced him this drug induced walking coma was the only way I would be able to function, so in his heart, he was doing what a Dad had to do. But let me tell you - doctors toss that damn label around ALOT, and medicating somebody into submission seems the easy way out in handling some problems as far as the medical field is concerned.