Why subs with trauma feel scared trusting

I feel like on here it’s good to have conversation, but it gets to a point where you don’t know if the persons gonna be nice or not or if they have only sexual intentions. Like for me I’ve realized I pull away when I feel that or if I’m scared it’ll get to that point. As a little it’s hard to see when ppls intentions are genuine or if its for show, and wondering just scares me because I can’t be in a situation again. How do other subs deal with this or what do you do to help with your anxiety about it? My regression means so much to me and I can’t give it to anybody even if it’s involuntary. I love being a sub and doing that with my partner but I also very much crave the connection beyond sex, I crave the intimacy and genuine connection, but now I just end it before I could even see because I’m scared I’ll be hurt badly again. I wanna feel okay regressing on my own, but due to my abuse I seek that comfort now, and I hate it so much. It’s been years too, like three now and I know it takes time

I really feel this in the depths of my soul. People will fake their intentions and because of our past trauma it can be hard to see through the facade and to know what is genuine. Hopefully we found what we are truly looking for ❤️

I think this site allows you to ask the right questions and time to see if the person is genuine. In the real world people pretend to be something they aren't only for sex as well

I feel you should trust your intuition..if something/someone doesn't feel right, you have the right to speak up and or shut down contact. Do not let anyone gaslight you into thinking otherwise. There are a lot of good people on this site on both sides of the slash..but there are also predators, trolls and jerks.. The right Dominant will guide you, not force you or be abusive physically and or verbally. You will know when you find peace in his presence not disregulation.

You mentioned past traumas and I don't know you or your situation..Perhaps you should seek out a therapist. Feeling safe that you can choose the right partner(s) because unfortunately coming from that environment may feel familiar and you'll seek out or draw to you what you know, unhealthy relationships.

Wishing you the best of luck..reach out to me or other submissives in your journey.. Wishing you healing and happiness.

It’s a very painful and long journey to gain trust with yourself and others after experiencing relationship trauma. I imagine you must feel torn with wanting to let go and be cherished but finding it difficult to decipher intentions and trust anyone enough to let go and transition to that vulnerable space.

Time and moving at a slow pace is really important, and I mean glacial if that’s what it takes to reassure your mind and body. I found consistency in every day, simple actions and words is so important, communicates intentions and reassures the nervous system. Your body will register more than your mind, but I understand the communication between mind and body requires care, safety, attention and time.

I recommend you be safe with yourself and feel more trust toward yourself before trusting others, but sometimes the right person can improve that relationship with yourself. Ultimately, they will always want the best for you and that should be felt.

In terms of regression, it very much depends on how that is for you, and how you transition (in and out). I suggest you find a CGL/little’s group, establish a support network and explore your possibilities for safe age play/regression.

Good luck and take care 🫶