Online now
Online now

I feel like you need to be a sub before being a dom

fluffypoppet fluffypoppet​(sub female)​{Protected}Verified Account
2 weeks ago • May 16, 2026
fluffypoppet​(sub female)​{Protected}Verified Account • May 16, 2026
Fundamentally I disagree, but vet for what matters to you.

Leadership, communication, consent, and accountability don't require a submission first approach.

A philosophy that forces someone to perform outside of who and what they are is a major misalignment with my values.
Edd15 Edd15​(sub male)Verified Account
Edd15​(sub male)Verified Account
2 weeks ago • May 17, 2026
Edd15​(sub male)Verified Account • May 17, 2026
It becomes apparent that we, somehow, choose our roles. As long as both parties in the relationship are being fulfilled, that is all that is needed.
JackAtx JackAtx​(dom male)Verified Account
JackAtx​(dom male)Verified Account
2 weeks ago • May 18, 2026
JackAtx​(dom male)Verified Account • May 18, 2026
People's brains are wired different to handle pain & pleasure. Different nervous system reactions to things as well. I can see your point about being a sub and gaining experience that way. But it wouldn't feel good to me physically so I doubt I would fully understand it's pleasures like someone who does feel them in pleasurable manner.
Solace Solace​(dom male)
22 hours ago • May 31, 2026
Solace​(dom male) • May 31, 2026
Why start as sub? Why not all subs start as a Dom? The original post implies that submission is the seed of domination. Or at least that being a submissive enhances ones capability as a dominant. Its easy to agree that experiencing both sides gives one a broader understanding. If Dominant should be a sub to better understand the difficulties and needs of submissive, should not a submissive do the same for their Dominant?

Dominants may carry many of responsibilities in a dynamic however they still have needs from their subversives. A successful dynamic is very challenging, and just like vanilla relationships both parties have to put a significant effort into it. In short, I agree with the concept but not with premise.