Harder than I thought

After years left lacking from submissive types, finally I’m ready to give it up to an expert but 20 sites later still no luck. I’m 33, handsome and muscular, smart, a catch for the woman I’m after. Message me I’ll send pics and discuss

Apparently not that much of a catch... Lol

The way you describe yourself means nothing when youre unwilling to post picts. Even newbs know how to pop an emoji over their face if needed. Try a munch or dungeon, get your face known there.

Don't be the guy who thinks having penis brain means you can talk better because you know you can! Use the brain not penis! Educate yourself in safety, safe sane consent, safe connection. Be whatever you want, but still be you; the right one will understand. It's okay to be silly and make us laugh, but don’t jump into BDSM to get a thrill; that takes two people in a bond, right energy, intimacy to share passion. Don’t want to get a defect of some virus due to a wrong connection; trust me, not cool. Play it safe; no offense to anyone. That may be someone for everyone; wear protection when the time is right, get tested, see a doctor. Note that meds these days help those who have something; not to judge, but nothing to spread. But sex can wait; enjoy each other's company first. Few months, 6 months before saying you're together; court each other. We care here; we don’t want to see anyone hurt. Rushing hurts people; we look out for others. Not to bring it down but rise up! This is the truth; no one’s perfect, but practice makes perfect, but go through experience; it's up to you to make valuable choices with Blooming. Don’t get me wrong, but either Sub Boy/Girl Sub/They, please think before you leap. But you may not know; screams on the other side stick; no thank you. Desperation scares away the right energy and good suitors. Do better; be human. Time and place for it. Wrong one; someone won’t give you aftercare; could leave you on the side of the road. Other half only cares for their needs, not yours. When you need medical help, it might be hard if someone has no safety; this is a big red flag. You don’t want to be a horror story you find from a crime show. For your safety, take it easy, take it slow; rushing never helps, but patience and building a connection with conversation will have to be vanilla at first. But you gotta get down to grow; get to know each other before it can be a relationship or the lifestyle. Want to see if you both click; go out in public, do things, see how this person treats you in public and behind closed doors. Connection is rare; right vibration, both souls click, and willing to grow and evolve in a bind. You want the right kind and respect; respect yourself and value it well. Looks are flashy; won’t do it. How you treat others, how you act, how you carry it; a bit of manners and how you approach others. Don’t just jump the gun. Because someone locked me in the basement in my 20s, I had to talk to the person, talk me out of it; left me there for hours. Can’t do that to someone because of what happened to me. A lesson I had to learn; never do again. Please be selective in your finding; do not meet someone right away or go to their home. The best one will have patience, will respect you, emotionally invest in you; reserve your heart because it has to be earned, not given, but over time when respect is shown in exchange of energy and time when a sub feels safe. But truly, the leading hand must keep its word and show the blueprints and sweet effect because sweet words do not work.

“ I am not robot. “ We tick the box quickly. but are we sure ? We rush , repeat , scroll , react, copy , compare , complain, and call it living. A Human pauses. A Human chooses. A Human feels. Maybe the soul also needs a checkbox Every morning.

What kills the attraction? Jumping in quick, I need a total Sadist Dom now! Need to stop this crap, this is why it loses interest! The real question is, what can you bring to the table? Bring your mind, learn the lifestyle, study it! Don't just jump in. Say this for me: practice, find what you like and dislike, so don't display it all, share a little, don't give out your whole passion because the wrong one will take and run. Want connection? Don't be a pick-me, pick-me; we are not in kindergarten. Be an adult, act like one, not a guy who looks in the mirror all day at his body. Stop the pretty boy stuff! No one can teach you until you're willing to have growth, teach yourself, don't be lazy about it. Nothing is free on your side; do some work and they'll do theirs. You must take responsibility for your actions as well. Don't say show it, don't be a beta. Be a man who's strong enough to take his mistress out to know her, not just jump in take it slow. Good luck.

There is definitely some wisdom within the wall of text a couple posts above mine. The gist of what she is saying is, look first and foremost for a relationship. Then second and secondmost, for kink. Connect with a person on a personal level. Then you will discover if the connection is there, and if it is, you can proceed to whatever intimacy mutually turns both of you on.

I do sympathize that for us single, male, kinky types, it is difficult to find that connection. I would, as stated above, focus on your strengths and character just as much as how handsome and muscular you are. What can you bring to the table beyond just being submissive and/or kinky? Do you have common interests? Skills? hobbies? Experience? Focus on that.

Agreed Above 👍 just sharing I’m not a mistress but do have dominance mind but many Domme friends over the years I tried it but was not for me I have someone we just hold the key I’m the sub still have a say time place for all things. People get excited have desires just slow down a bit everyone been new/re surfacing at one point but does mean don’t have experience everyone experience will be different. We don’t come with books but we must write as we go. I know one post might sounded bit strict but go with what you feel. Somthing I’ve learned if you keep doing the same results are not Turing out well this why you have to go slow change the atmosphere of value with respect and habits. Don’t come out just cause you one may look
Good come out just come out truly genuine. Be careful of this new trend kitten fishing don’t make you a story or fall for a story , best to be honest because when you truly meet it will turn the person away it breaks trust the gate will be closed. They work on what you can but having good heart looking out for other person and yourself. You want to be claimed but people going to want to carry a connection within 6 months and dating. One night stands , play partner , a fling they won’t turn in to a long term very rare and may not be anything of connection. Some say they need sex but really you need a a genuine soul connection that aligns with you. Because if you jump into sex, it’d just a thrill if like that the energy won’t be the same and probably wont hear from then again or they will call you when they want sex be zero connection. Everyone should be treated decent and respectfully and genuine, not just hit the bed. Day light hours are best if you want genuine connection. I know people get in heat buy some toys try a virtual online get to know someone before jumping in, but I can help you practice to get to know somebody. My partner did want to meet right away but said needed little time we dated 6 months thr 7 month was when we said it was a relationship. people do need time talking on the phone , video call in decent nature. But if someone came me just said sex not a connection I be gone sex comes later not on my mind get in my mind my soul
Read it with out touching it. You wanted to be respected as well you don’t wanna end up tied to park bench and left be bit selective in your findings. Men do have bit hard but have some class don’t have dress all in a suit bring little manners not your body keep the cloths on , use your brain with humor grow with yourself just laugh it off be little creative with your words and time with romance. Mistress will please but you need to do your part as well try food first taste new dishes feed each other Thor should be first sex not really sex but blow the mind o this taste good wanna try it building a spark and connection keep
Getting doing things in public grow a bond when time right you both will developed those feelings. Start with a coffee place bring up
Subjects any books and movies you like anything new like to try go on walks go to a theme park a cruise few days can turn in to going out of town go for adventure use Saftey as well. Limit not being bdsm yet but subject can come up
After few dates but keep courting and try stuff. Rushed relashionship don’t last long so don’t rush yourself or anyone cause if down the road you say this not for me that’s can fuck up a connection two people get hurt. So think before you leap. You may not find someone in your home town not like old days you could but gotta go the distance miles away a hour or a state away. But if you both willing to meet show up few times spilt the bill and arrange it. If you both feel connection online then go met each other but at least exchange photos nothing nude they can call few times do check ins no demands or making someone do sex that stuff for the birds. Just be safe play it safe. Your gonna go through a few people match won’t be instant but won’t happen over night , let patience be your virtue let it flow but make time take breaks stay little busy but make that gotta do it every min. Put yourself out there don’t have to please just be you write a blog of your day , work being partner for yourself romance it , try new things , new routine so on. I did find my love til later in life at 40 was my last love. I was single many years I gave up but gotta believe in yourself believe can happen. Say kinder things to self and life I flow with love I allow , have peace let go of trying find someone but let it be with peace will find a away. The unexpected when it happens like your working on things don’t have to have all together but happens in those times we aren’t thinking about it. I was not looking but I keep profile on went did my life was not Allways checking he found me. Years it did take time I dated years before but times before help you get to the next time if doors close your new door opening new thing have hope rise up new beginning are everyday! Treat like everyday is new! But down the road You will have to work on being the ride or die with each other and going through the thick thing cause it’s gonna be good and bad days and not every day is the perfect day you have to work together bring it back together and it’s not always 50-50 someone’s gotta bring each other back together. I mean you gotta treat it like the first day you met. Write down how you want to share life with someone make a plan and make it your destiny. Like I wanna share life with someone do things together grow evolve become a bond in the lifetime. But in this life time seen many been hurt and they heal then they find that person that’s connects gets on level with them. Friend of mine found one she was hurt promised things but she never gave up told do it slow been a year for her. Never give up your passion never give up your dreams show up for yourself every day but treat the same person as you want yourself but if it’s not the same, it’s not the same and just wish the person well. But if you tried it, be honest with people with your feelings in the beginning, don’t let it beat around a bush. Try to navigate with them to a more peaceful direction and just say sometimes we meet people even for a short time that helps us for the next thing and that’s a piece of the puzzle that you give them and they give you a piece of puzzles that’s the thing that you need to look at if it does not work then this is to help you for the next thing. Real sex growing with someone the moments and. Can’t stand living with out them! But if works out keep
Going!