Trust, Can it be Rebuilt

The original poster is so vague that I find myself wondering if the issue is a simple mistake or a serious betrayal.

If it is a sidewalk I tripped on that left me with stitches and knee injuries, then yes, I will walk that sidewalk again. I understand accidents happen and life carries risk. Heh hem, yes this happened recently, I am going to hold the sidewalk owner liable. “Boundaries”.

If it is a relationship where I am expected to absorb the consequences of someone else’s indiscretion, humiliation, deception, or behavior that causes lasting emotional pain, then my answer is very different.

At some point, loving and protecting myself must come first. No one else is responsible for safeguarding my well-being the way I am. Trust is not rebuilt simply because someone is sorry; it is rebuilt when actions consistently demonstrate safety, respect, and integrity over time.

I also believe people often follow the example we set. Our boundaries teach others how to treat us. If I repeatedly accept violations of my values, I should not be surprised when those same violations reappear, whether from the same person or from future partners who learn that those boundaries are flexible.

For me, trust is less about forgiveness and more about self-respect. If rebuilding trust requires abandoning my values, accepting repeated harm, or normalizing behavior that diminishes my self-worth, then the price is too high.

In the end, we often attract what we allow. The boundaries we establish become the doorway through which people enter our lives.

Trust in a D/s relationship is like a fine piece of pottery. When it breaks, the cracks may remain visible, but with care, honesty, and commitment, it can be restored—and sometimes become more beautiful and resilient than before.

Submission is not given because a Dominant is perfect. It is given because a Dominant has proven worthy of trust. When trust is damaged, worthiness must be demonstrated again, one action at a time.