darlingdiana(sub female){Owned}
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1 day ago •
Jul 12, 2026
► TopekaDom wrote: I often equate being a Dom with being a sculptor.
One takes a hunk of rough rock and stare at it til you see the glorious figure within. Then, you peck away the unneeded chips and buff out the rough edges until the final figure is fully released. The thing that really gets me off is an s type who is willing to put themselves in my hands for all of that. The pain, the structure, the correction, the education. YES, this is why You are the REAL McCoy. Exactly what an s type is seeking. Please start teaching Domsā¦ |
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Online now
| DelightfullyDominant(dom male) |
1 day ago •
Jul 12, 2026
► TopekaDom wrote: I often equate being a Dom with being a sculptor.
One takes a hunk of rough rock and stare at it til you see the glorious figure within. Then, you peck away the unneeded chips and buff out the rough edges until the final figure is fully released. The thing that really gets me off is an s type who is willing to put themselves in my hands for all of that. The pain, the structure, the correction, the education. As Michanangelo said ā The sculpture is already complete within the marble block, before I start my work. It is already there, I just have to chisel away the superfluous material.ā. 
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darlingdiana(sub female){Owned}
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1 day ago •
Jul 12, 2026
► JaredMayer wrote: I wouldn't say that I love being a dominant (or a sadist), it's just what I am.
I like being in control and having the sub do what I say just because I told them to, and I like that they will suffer to please me, but equally I like that I can just make them do what's good for them instead of having to convince them. Like, maybe it's an autistic thing, but so many people around me seem to continually make obviously wrong choices over and over again, ignoring their rational mind in favor of appeasing some sentiment or emotion, and it gets so tedious. I am unable to see past one line here. It misses the largest responsibility of being a Dom. Control doesnāt have any value just because someone obeys. A sub is putting an immense amount of trust and vulnerability in your hands. Every expected task, correction, or rule should have a designed plan, like growth, protection, structure, service or mutual benefit. Or itās pretty much only āSimon Says.ā Authority isnāt the goal, what is done with that authority is what separates being a trustworthy and safe Dom. |
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JaredMayer(dom male)
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13 hours ago •
Jul 13, 2026
► darlingdiana wrote: I am unable to see past one line here. It misses the largest responsibility of being a Dom. Control doesnāt have any value just because someone obeys. A sub is putting an immense amount of trust and vulnerability in your hands. Every expected task, correction, or rule should have a designed plan, like growth, protection, structure, service or mutual benefit. Or itās pretty much only āSimon Says.ā Authority isnāt the goal, what is done with that authority is what separates being a trustworthy and safe Dom. Well, the question asked what I loved about being a Dom, and the control is the part I love most if I'm being honest. I'm going to make my sub do things that hurt, degrade, or humiliate them because I get off on it. Sometimes that's the extent of the plan. If pleasing me pleases them, then that's mutual benefit isn't it? Maybe you don't think so, and that's fine, it just means you wouldn't be the right sub for someone like me. I want my cruelty and their suffering to be an exciting exchange of energies for both of us. Obviously I have a duty to the sub's well being and growth the same way I would anyone who put their trust in me; but that's just being a decent person as far as I'm concerned. And if I can leverage the authority they've entrusted me with to say "no, you can't have another drink" or "yes, you are going to see a therapist about your childhood trauma" or make them go to bed at a decent hour, then yeah, I love that too. |
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B L O N D I E(sub female)
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10 hours ago •
Jul 13, 2026
► JaredMayer wrote: ► darlingdiana wrote: I am unable to see past one line here. It misses the largest responsibility of being a Dom. Control doesnāt have any value just because someone obeys. A sub is putting an immense amount of trust and vulnerability in your hands. Every expected task, correction, or rule should have a designed plan, like growth, protection, structure, service or mutual benefit. Or itās pretty much only āSimon Says.ā Authority isnāt the goal, what is done with that authority is what separates being a trustworthy and safe Dom. Well, the question asked what I loved about being a Dom, and the control is the part I love most if I'm being honest. I'm going to make my sub do things that hurt, degrade, or humiliate them because I get off on it. Sometimes that's the extent of the plan. If pleasing me pleases them, then that's mutual benefit isn't it? Maybe you don't think so, and that's fine, it just means you wouldn't be the right sub for someone like me. I want my cruelty and their suffering to be an exciting exchange of energies for both of us. Obviously I have a duty to the sub's well being and growth the same way I would anyone who put their trust in me; but that's just being a decent person as far as I'm concerned. And if I can leverage the authority they've entrusted me with to say "no, you can't have another drink" or "yes, you are going to see a therapist about your childhood trauma" or make them go to bed at a decent hour, then yeah, I love that too. Well said, Jared. |
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Literate Lycan(dom male)
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9 hours ago •
Jul 13, 2026
Good morning all,
I took a moment before responding. I am honestly surprised no one said "BJOD" - Blow Jobs on Demand. The question was "Why do you love . . . and what's the best part for you?" I take that to be a complex question as it might change. Certainly when I'm receiving or giving in that moment, that is the absolute best part! But later in the day or week, simply being someone trusted enough to hear about a good or bad moment of the day without the need to fix or even respond might be the best part. Being a positive source of life might be it. I feel like Jared gave a spectacular answer in the feeling of control. That doesn't dismiss or minimize the responsibility he may feel, it's just in the moment his answer to the question asked. I hope the good gentleman doesn't mind my using him as a positive example. I'd say it changes depending upon the moment of the day. All the best! LL |
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darlingdiana(sub female){Owned}
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5 hours ago •
Jul 13, 2026
► JaredMayer wrote: ► darlingdiana wrote: I am unable to see past one line here. It misses the largest responsibility of being a Dom. Control doesnāt have any value just because someone obeys. A sub is putting an immense amount of trust and vulnerability in your hands. Every expected task, correction, or rule should have a designed plan, like growth, protection, structure, service or mutual benefit. Or itās pretty much only āSimon Says.ā Authority isnāt the goal, what is done with that authority is what separates being a trustworthy and safe Dom. Well, the question asked what I loved about being a Dom, and the control is the part I love most if I'm being honest. I'm going to make my sub do things that hurt, degrade, or humiliate them because I get off on it. Sometimes that's the extent of the plan. If pleasing me pleases them, then that's mutual benefit isn't it? Maybe you don't think so, and that's fine, it just means you wouldn't be the right sub for someone like me. I want my cruelty and their suffering to be an exciting exchange of energies for both of us. Obviously I have a duty to the sub's well being and growth the same way I would anyone who put their trust in me; but that's just being a decent person as far as I'm concerned. And if I can leverage the authority they've entrusted me with to say "no, you can't have another drink" or "yes, you are going to see a therapist about your childhood trauma" or make them go to bed at a decent hour, then yeah, I love that too. If your motivation begins and ends with what gets you off, then I donāt see dominance, I see gratification. A Dominant is entrusted with another personās vulnerability. That authority should exist for more than the Dominantās pleasure, even when the activities themselves are just erotica. I think youāre confusing obedience with fulfillment. Very few submissives Iāve met get off on being told what to do. They get fulfillment from trust, surrender, connection, and the meaning behind the exchange. If the only purpose of authority is that it arouses the Dominant, then Iād question whether the dynamic is truly about two people or primarily about one. But thereās one who may be up for that, she likes how you think. You know what they say, āthereās a lid for every potā or āone born every minuteā. |
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darlingdiana(sub female){Owned}
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5 hours ago •
Jul 13, 2026
► B L O N D I E wrote: ► JaredMayer wrote: ► darlingdiana wrote: I am unable to see past one line here. It misses the largest responsibility of being a Dom. Control doesnāt have any value just because someone obeys. A sub is putting an immense amount of trust and vulnerability in your hands. Every expected task, correction, or rule should have a designed plan, like growth, protection, structure, service or mutual benefit. Or itās pretty much only āSimon Says.ā Authority isnāt the goal, what is done with that authority is what separates being a trustworthy and safe Dom. Well, the question asked what I loved about being a Dom, and the control is the part I love most if I'm being honest. I'm going to make my sub do things that hurt, degrade, or humiliate them because I get off on it. Sometimes that's the extent of the plan. If pleasing me pleases them, then that's mutual benefit isn't it? Maybe you don't think so, and that's fine, it just means you wouldn't be the right sub for someone like me. I want my cruelty and their suffering to be an exciting exchange of energies for both of us. Obviously I have a duty to the sub's well being and growth the same way I would anyone who put their trust in me; but that's just being a decent person as far as I'm concerned. And if I can leverage the authority they've entrusted me with to say "no, you can't have another drink" or "yes, you are going to see a therapist about your childhood trauma" or make them go to bed at a decent hour, then yeah, I love that too. Well said, Jared. Does this mean you agree and can verify there are subs (you) who reciprocate to being told what to do, and thats enough? Curiousā¦ truly |
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JaredMayer(dom male)
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40 seconds ago •
Jul 13, 2026
One of the hardest things about being autistic is the way you feel like you're communicating what you intend to, and think you understand what the other person is saying, but get the distinct impression that neither is true.
I don't quite know where you're getting this idea that I'm all about my own gratification. I mean, yeah, in the bedroom that's going to be a part of how my kink is expressed, but just because I'm honest about which parts of the dynamic I like the most doesn't mean I'm some kind of selfish sex-obsessed asshole who only sees subs as a masturbation aid or something. |
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