B L O N D I E(sub female)
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1 day ago •
Jul 13, 2026
► darlingdiana wrote: ► B L O N D I E wrote: ► JaredMayer wrote: ► darlingdiana wrote: I am unable to see past one line here. It misses the largest responsibility of being a Dom. Control doesnāt have any value just because someone obeys. A sub is putting an immense amount of trust and vulnerability in your hands. Every expected task, correction, or rule should have a designed plan, like growth, protection, structure, service or mutual benefit. Or itās pretty much only āSimon Says.ā Authority isnāt the goal, what is done with that authority is what separates being a trustworthy and safe Dom. Well, the question asked what I loved about being a Dom, and the control is the part I love most if I'm being honest. I'm going to make my sub do things that hurt, degrade, or humiliate them because I get off on it. Sometimes that's the extent of the plan. If pleasing me pleases them, then that's mutual benefit isn't it? Maybe you don't think so, and that's fine, it just means you wouldn't be the right sub for someone like me. I want my cruelty and their suffering to be an exciting exchange of energies for both of us. Obviously I have a duty to the sub's well being and growth the same way I would anyone who put their trust in me; but that's just being a decent person as far as I'm concerned. And if I can leverage the authority they've entrusted me with to say "no, you can't have another drink" or "yes, you are going to see a therapist about your childhood trauma" or make them go to bed at a decent hour, then yeah, I love that too. Well said, Jared. Does this mean you agree and can verify there are subs (you) who reciprocate to being told what to do, and thats enough? Curiousā¦ truly The thing I love the most about submission is that it makes me feel safe. There are times when I'm in deep sub space and even in everyday life when I feel uncertain, unable, or I just don't want to deal with handling the situation in which I find myself. In those situations, yes, the thing I appreciate most is the safety in knowing that my dominant will take control, tell me what to do, and direct me where he wants me to go. I am extremely grateful when my dominant does all of this. It makes me feel very safe in ways vanilla relationships can't equal. I think it's incredibly disingenuous and mean-spirited of you to sit in judgment of another person's answer, Diana. You can answer for yourself. You are not entitled to answer on anyone else's behalf or dictate whether his answer is correct or whether he's relating correctly to his own dominance. This community is better than that and the members deserve to be treated better. |
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itsmella(sub female)
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13 hours ago •
Jul 15, 2026
► B L O N D I E wrote: The thing I love the most about submission is that it makes me feel safe. There are times when I'm in deep sub space and even in everyday life when I feel uncertain, unable, or I just don't want to deal with handling the situation in which I find myself. In those situations, yes, the thing I appreciate most is the safety in knowing that my dominant will take control, tell me what to do, and direct me where he wants me to go. I am extremely grateful when my dominant does all of this. It makes me feel very safe in ways vanilla relationships can't equal. I totally agree with what you're saying. I usually use a nerdier (and worse) analogy: my brain is like Chrome with 1,500 tabs open. He manages to keep only the 20 most important ones open. I suffer less and have more peace of mind. And about safety... you nailed it. |
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Bunnie
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11 minutes ago •
Jul 15, 2026
► darlingdiana wrote: ► B L O N D I E wrote: ► JaredMayer wrote: ► darlingdiana wrote: I am unable to see past one line here. It misses the largest responsibility of being a Dom. Control doesnāt have any value just because someone obeys. A sub is putting an immense amount of trust and vulnerability in your hands. Every expected task, correction, or rule should have a designed plan, like growth, protection, structure, service or mutual benefit. Or itās pretty much only āSimon Says.ā Authority isnāt the goal, what is done with that authority is what separates being a trustworthy and safe Dom. Well, the question asked what I loved about being a Dom, and the control is the part I love most if I'm being honest. I'm going to make my sub do things that hurt, degrade, or humiliate them because I get off on it. Sometimes that's the extent of the plan. If pleasing me pleases them, then that's mutual benefit isn't it? Maybe you don't think so, and that's fine, it just means you wouldn't be the right sub for someone like me. I want my cruelty and their suffering to be an exciting exchange of energies for both of us. Obviously I have a duty to the sub's well being and growth the same way I would anyone who put their trust in me; but that's just being a decent person as far as I'm concerned. And if I can leverage the authority they've entrusted me with to say "no, you can't have another drink" or "yes, you are going to see a therapist about your childhood trauma" or make them go to bed at a decent hour, then yeah, I love that too. Well said, Jared. Does this mean you agree and can verify there are subs (you) who reciprocate to being told what to do, and thats enough? Curiousā¦ truly Personally, yesā¦ I can verify that there are submissives that compliment Dominants like @Jared in their enjoyment of being of service in specific ways, because I am one. Also, I think he explained himself perfectly. Itās difficult to explain some things that can be touchy for othersā¦ for eg. that you enjoy suffering in a consensual way- as either the giver or receiver, as itās not something readily understood by many. I spent a lot of years trying to find ways to make it less triggery to share so that I could hope for understanding and less judgement, but I came to realise it doesnāt actually matter. Itās like looking at a menu at a restaurant - certain wording will resonate, some will simply make no sense at allā¦ and thatās perfectly okā¦ we donāt need to eat everything on the menu, nor does it make any dishes less palatable just because theyāre not to our tastes. |
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