Permission

A recent observation got me on the subject of Permission.

Now in your stereotypical D/s relationship, the D is the one who grants a given permission. But my question is when should this permission be granted? Is it up the the s type to ask for said permission before they can do a task? Or, should the D be looking forward and grant the permission before the s realizes it will be needed?

Discuss:

I hate assuming; discuss everything. Communicate how you & your partner want to handle things in your own way. Theres nothing less sexy than a misunderstanding in intimacy.

It doesn't really matter how others do it, but for me, I like to be asked/begged for permissions personally that way A: i know they really want it and arent just following my suggestion and B: its hot to me 🤷‍♂️

but this is something I discuss with my partner beforehand. You CAN discuss boundaries, consents, and rules in a flirtatious way so that you are covering your bases without ruining the mood.

Discussion and getting to know the "s". The "s" may tell you a, b, and c they are okay with and then something unexpected comes up and You can tell it is a want at that moment. Of course they would have to ask permission but the pleasure of holding it away for a little and watching the reaction is hot.

My answer is yes the "s" type should ask for permission

Perhaps you can give some context on the kind of tasks you're talking about? Because generally I would say it's not one or the other, it would be a mixture of both. And as a result, I think this really breaks things down into three general categories.

1. There are recurring (or anticipated) tasks that an s may be required to do that they wouldn't need to beg/ask permission to do it in the moment. For instance, if you give your sub a task to stay hydrated, then depending on your schedule, you probably don't want your sub to have to wait and beg to drink a glass of water. You may want them to track it or do something else, but some things are just negotiated on and expected to be done without formality. Asking permission may just not be practical, or not desired or necessary.

2. Then there are tasks that you may decree that your sub always needs to ask permission for. I like My sub coming to Me asking for permission/begging as much as the others. It's a part feature of many D/s dynamics. There could be a bunch of tasks where asking permission is a part of what's required to do the task.

3. Then there are the unforeseen/unanticipated tasks. A situation may unfold that was not foreseen, or it may be due to your sub getting an urge for something or whatever. But whatever the case it does not fall under predefined rules and protocols. Personally I try to set up rules for best practices when situations like these arise. For some such situations, it should be "obvious" that one needs to beg for permission. For others it may be obvious that permission is not needed (for example, there's a medical emergency that your sub may have to bend or break your rule in order to handle). And, of course, there's always the grey areas. For those you outline, to the best of your ability, how your sub is supposed to make a decision and grant themselves permission when you're not there to do it. And the overall intentions of how you set up your dynamic would help guide such decisions.

Just sharing on permission all walks of life. Permission time and place for it in the bedroom or specific days and times of the day, as we have to do life. Give a sub a routine you’ve made them, a few electro lights, snacks, and their daily vitamins. Alternatively, do things with them in the morning, take their meds, do yours, and go for walks together. For some, health is important, so they need to bring health items like a fan, water, inhaler, health shots, and menopausal spray. My partner gets busy, so it’s healthy to have space. Routine or exercise, take a class, and remember to do self-care. Be ready after work; the leading hand takes you to dinner. This may not work for everyone. A sub needs to keep their mind and intelligence sharp, not brainless. In dessert in Valley, need to hydrate and moisturize a lot, and I stay out of the heat. Walk in the morning or afternoon, stay by a pool, or stay in the shade. Everyone lives in different climates, and all depends on their career. Some people might not be able to do it. Ask permission. I could see as check-ins and them coming home for lunch, spending time with you. Adults can think for themselves, be responsible, and as a sub, you should be responsible too. Sub at home but should behave and be monitored? Keep them busy, do classes, and grow and bloom keep them happy complement them helps them with their goals and dreams so they can thrive . Can’t sit, eat bonbons all day. Morning, weekends, and after work days could have some permission. Just have them wear something, have them pick out your tie and tools, spank tools they hold in their hands. But you could say, “We’ll work up to having safety and aftercare.” A sub should keep busy, not on social media, talking to guys, or the dom. The dom should not be on social media unless you both use it. Do it fairly, only for quotes and healthy things. It should only be for each other. Permission by the dom has ti be earn the heart of the sub, and still, keep your word. But the sub should also treat the dom with respect. But don’t call your partner’s in titles until you’ve gotten to know each other better. use nicknames like “lovey” or “honey pot” . Wait until you’ve dated for a few months and gone out together in public before you consider going to the bedroom. It should be more than just online interactions; you should meet in person and see if you have the same connection. Give it 8 months to a year before you consider going to the bedroom. It’s worth the wait; not to rush in to
Permission don’t do til they are ready. Don’t jump in to playing because that a frenzy that’s not safe no Saftey just a game. No one touches until they get emotionally invested before getting hooked and get your mind and soul before even touching for her be aroused she feels safe. Takes two to tango one can’t do it alone. Just sharing don’t take it personally take how you would in your way. If you let guy walk all over you they will have to speak up get after and put foot down to listen even if it’s BDSM. Have fights have space come back and worn on things. Feelings are needed both ways.