Information about Doms

Information about Doms

BuckeyeBabyGirl​(sub female) • Jan 14, 2020

Is there a place on here where you can go and discreetly ask questions about Doms who are on the site? Kind of like a warning system or something?

LaVieEnRose​(sub female){Kintsugi} • Jan 14, 2020

Asking long term members you trust and have spoken too is a good place to start. But also if there is a Dom you’re speaking to ask for references, past subs you can contact

Daddy Time​(dom male) • Jan 14, 2020

Wow wouldn’t that be great a Dom or sub registry that lists if they are good or bad or even a real sub or Dom.Like LaVie said just try to speak with members you see here maybe the more active bloggers etc to start. Im sure there are great Doms or subs here that don’t bother with blogging etc so active bloggers or forum ppl would be a good start. If you see some responses in forums or blogs that line up with your dynamic contact that person here on messaging its a start

ADIDAS • Jan 14, 2020

I don't have a solution to your question Ms. BBG, I'm sorry.

But I do want to add to @Mr. DT's comment....... I too was in Ms. BBG 's delimma while vetting my first 3 Doms here. When asking them about past subs they either weren't on this site or just weren't willing to share the info which in hindsight should've been a red flag, I know now, learn as I go..... but even if there were a section that we as subs AND Doms could go and leave a few facts about the duration of the relationship we had with the person, date it ended and date you're leaving your comments. Most importantly your overall thought on them as a partner. I think alot of members would participate. I also think with this in place it might keep everyone behaving in a more civilized manner as they wouldn't want horrible comments written about them. Such as

" We were together for a glorious year, it was the most beautiful year of my life! I'll never forget it! But we met for a week, had the best time of our lives together, started even talking about the future together and that when we got to our individual homes we'd really think about it. But then, after getting home he was different, aloof, seemingly uninterested. Rarely contacting me if ever. Got to the point that even if I contacted him, no answer. That's right, ghosted! For 3 months he ghosted me! Then he answers me on our year anniversary, but not with happy wishes, to tell me it's over. He's done! "

I don't know if something like this would work out but I know if I read this, I'd think twice about getting involved with this Dom. AND if I were this fictional Dom, I wouldn't behave like this for fear of my next potential sub reading it, but then maybe Doms don't worry about things like that.

Thanks for such a great question Ms. BBG!!! Really got my thinking cap on and had me squeezing ALL the power from it that I could, lol!!! Thanks as well to Mr. Daddy Time for inspiring and coming up with the idea in the first place! Isn't this a great place?!

Ms. A💗

BuckeyeBabyGirl​(sub female) • Jan 14, 2020

@Ms.A that’s exactly what I am talking about. Not everyone participates in the forums and blogs and information like your situation could be critical to someone’s life and well being.

I know I don’t have any friends as of yet on here and some may just be too shy to ask for help or to reach out. That’s why I think it’s very important for something like this to be created. After all the biggest key to this dynamic is TRUST. And how can those who have been in situations where they have been hurt and trust is hard, to find out this critical information about who they are communicating with.

alawey​(sub female){(OWNED BY } • Jan 14, 2020

I agree talk with other subs that you have gotten to know and trust, ask to be able to talk to former subs, watch how they react to others in chat/ blogs/ forums and how hows react to them . now i know that i stated these and other things in a blog posting that i shared a link to in another forum posting about vetting.
I will agree that there maybe doms on here that arent active as much as others that are good ones for the right sub. But at the sametime i would worry if they are here and ONLINE yet never post anything at all ( no blogs or forum postings or even a reply to others posting )

Secondly i would like to suggest that you tread lightly and not rush head first into anything . allow yourself to learn and grow before anything . and good dom for you maybe aready talking with you but just breath . a good dom wont rush anything / or push for things.

Stay safe and have fun

alawey​(sub female){(OWNED BY } • Jan 14, 2020

Also i would like to addd. That while that very well MIGHT be a good idea. it is also MIGHT not be a good one. Everything should be taken we a grain of salt when being told about others in this way. And just because it was one way for one person doesnt mean it would be that way for another.
You also have the sub / dom relationships that end baddly and ppl tend somethimes to say things that arent true about the other.

For example there was a sub here who was very happy with her dom atm then finding out that he had lied about very important things. She broke away. The dom then wented about attacking her here .

KissKali​(sub female) • Jan 14, 2020

It makes me chuckle to think that people, like places, could soon be getting reviews.
I hope it won't be the case, as I personally can only maintain a well-behaved persona for a limited amount of time! I might start off receiving five stars, but then.... lol.

What I do feel is helpful in answer to BBG's original question, is the ongoing sharing of tips and stories that help a sub to develop her radar, sniff out red flags, and generally develop a strong sense of a person's character.

Fyglia Wicked​(dom female) • Jan 14, 2020

After you've done your research on BDSM Listen to your gut feelings and the more you use your instincts the stronger the instincts get.

Erick​(sub male) • Jan 14, 2020

A "Registry" where people are encouraged to inform on each other? Perhaps even anonymously inform on each other? Sure. Sounds like a great idea. What could possibly go wrong with that?

I can see my own dossier already:

"This creep who calls himself 'Erick' is definitely someone to stay away from. I have a friend of a friend of a good friend who is very reliable who said that in 2007 he once didn't answer a message she sent him. At least, she thinks it was Erick. Or someone with a name close to that. So he's a GHOSTER. And that is NOT COOL.

"Also: There are reliable reports that his ex-wife once said that he used to leave wet towels on the bathroom floor. AND: He supposedly once referred to Secretary of State First Lady Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton using a word I can't say here, but it begins with "B." So this guy is obviously as MISOGYNIST and a PREDATOR. And that is NOT COOL.

"Also: His ex-girlfriend reportedly said that he once FAT-SHAMED her. And although we don't really KNOW if that is true, still: Why take a chance? Where there's smoke, there's fire. He obviously must have done S:OMETHING wrong. Again: NOT COOL.

"So if anyone has further confirmation of what a creep 'Erick' is, PLEASE add it to this report.

"Thanks. And let's all STAY SAFE. And stay AWAY from this 'Erick.' He is obviously a BAD DUDE. VERY NOT COOL ."