Is there such a role as a "toy"?

Is there such a role as a "toy"?

KnottyBunny • Aug 11, 2020

I am still fairly new to the LS and I received this message yesterday on here. Not sure what to make of it but definitely raises concerns and red flags to me.

"Can you be a silent used toy for a sadistic man's needs and never step into whatever world he has created for himself. To be used for nothing other than pleasure. To basically be a fleshite that comes with free lube and a moaning soundtrack."

It doesn't stop at "pleasure". Keyword here is "sadistic"

What are your thoughts?

rosethorn​(sub female) • Aug 11, 2020

Run... just doesn't sound great does it.
Slave is a bdsm term thats used for someone with very minimal limits but they are also to be respected. I just don't see that here. (Others please feel free to correct if ive misunderstood as im not a slave myself).
Personally i would tell him to go watch porn with his actual fleshlight, at least the women involved can negotiate contracts. Seeing as thats all he is interested in not the wellbeing of someone he is actually being with.

* personally not heard of toy as a bdsm dynamic but have heard requests for one on profiles.
Might be a difference between Top and Dom and sub slave or toy in some areas but not to my personal knowledge.
Not interested in building a dynamic up either which to my mind limits humiliation and degradation play as trust and limits need to be established and the person's wellbeing ensured regardless.

KnottyBunny • Aug 11, 2020

I actually mentioned that in our message thread and he responded "I have had a slave and they are too much work as well."

rosethorn​(sub female) • Aug 11, 2020

That sounds like he genuinely doesn't care about the other person. Thats a huge red flag. There is bdsm sadistic where self care, after care, RACK, SSC and traffic lights exist for a reason. Checking the other person is okay is important.

I know some like to feel used in some way but its often built up to. That doesn't seem to be the case here.

rosethorn​(sub female) • Aug 11, 2020

Sounds like being with someone human who has emotions is too much work to ensure safety
..
Yeah ... run

KnottyBunny • Aug 11, 2020

I've actually been in a dynamic with this person. In my experience, he just wants to physically and mentally abuse people. I wanted to be trained as a sub but it was always "lets see how much pain you can take".

I am new so I wanted to know if "toy" or what he wants... punching bag... is a role in this LS.

rosethorn​(sub female) • Aug 11, 2020

Im really glad you put this out there and my inbox is always open. X.

Sadist in my understanding (again people feel free to correct) often have a need because they gain pleasure from pain for many this is like a form of torment because they can't cope with how someone can like that so... they team up with masochistics who enjoy the pain. When checking the other person is okay and ssc and rack are followed it helps reassure the sadist no serious harm has occurred and check the masochist is okay because there is an element of they would seriously struggle if harm was actually caused although they enjoy seeing it many dont like the fact that they enjoy it. Its really difficult so checking the other person is okay is like a life raft to them. X
Again just my understanding.
This guy doesn't even seem interested in the other person as a being. Even if someone is used and they want to be you build to it and its what they want and they know whats involved even so ssc rack and traffic lights still stand.
A master looks after what is his. X

KnottyBunny • Aug 11, 2020

He always made sure I was safe. Aftercare though was just admiring his "artwork". If bleeding he would take care of it. I just dont understand what kind of role he is looking for.

I care for this person, he has some issues. I believe the need to fix kicked in for me and that is why I tried so hard and so long. I fell in love began sacrificing what I wanted to give him what he needed.

Orgazmo​(dom male){serenity m} • Aug 11, 2020

It would take immense amounts of trust and communication and that takes time to build and would be something best built incrementally.

But it does sound like a fun fantasy to fulfil.

rosethorn​(sub female) • Aug 11, 2020

You shouldn't have to sacrifice anything.
You may see him as misunderstood and you know him better than i do.
But my advice still stands i would still run.
Respect and care should always be given. Submission is earned and given by the submissive. A Dom Top or whoever cant do anything without that gift of submission and its earnt through trust honestly openess respect and care.

I wasn't there but blood and just admiring his work in my mind doesn't equal safe. Blood is a limit for me in any form but seriously neef to be taken care of at the very least or serious harm can occur. Thats a risk you have been put at by him if he hasn't taken care of that.

You need to think of what your limits are, what you want from a dynamic and what kind of dynamic you want without considering him because thats the only way to see if your compatible.