Low{BLK OWND}
|
4 years ago •
Oct 10, 2020
Strange nite time comments
So here is the situation
I recently have been experiencing unkind things said to me at nite while I'm sleeping At first I thought it couldn't be happening and maybe I misunderstood because I was in a sleepy state but I confirmed it just recently early am when I was not in a deep sleepy state After almost 30 yrs of marriage I just don't get it And its not about our bull who we both enjoy its unkind things from my hubby ? I'm wondering if he's just kinda mad at me for some unspoken reason I'm just looking for any positive suggestions or even to know if anyone has ever had this happen to them before |
|
|
Online now
MissBonnie(dom female){oz}
|
4 years ago •
Oct 11, 2020
Talk to your partner, ask why?
if your not understanding, you're entitled to know why. If your practicing BDSM it takes CLEAR communication. Take out the BDSM this is your life partner of 30 years, you equally have the right. You have the rite to have a discussion if its something that is making your unhappy or unsettled and you haven't consented to it. If its happening for a reason, you should understand why, if its supposed to be a correction of some sort or some sort of training. Regardless of your position as wife or sub, you have value and deserve to be heard. Talk to him away from the bedroom in a non threatening environment. |
|
|
BigBubbles
|
4 years ago •
Oct 11, 2020
If it were me I'd call him on it the next time he does it just roll over and ask him what the fuck his problem is. Or if you dont want to wait just tell him you heard him and you want to know why hes doing it? And especially when you are asleep. Sounds like a cowardly thing for him to do to me.
|
|
|
Miki(masochist female)
|
4 years ago •
Oct 11, 2020
Never Stop Being You!
|
|
|
|
Low{BLK OWND}
|
4 years ago •
Oct 11, 2020
I'm going to call him on it and thanks all for the advice
Its kinda hard because I'm asleep but im training my mind to stand up even if I'm sleep down And also a conversation is in the works I know I'm a good person and I don't deserve to be talked to any kinda way |
|
|
|
Low{BLK OWND}
|
4 years ago •
Oct 11, 2020
I'm going to call him on it and thanks all for the advice
Its kinda hard because I'm asleep but im training my mind to stand up even if I'm sleep down And also a conversation is in the works I know I'm a good person and I don't deserve to be talked to any kinda way |
|
|
IowaDom(dom male)
|
4 years ago •
Oct 11, 2020
Not trying to be the alarmist here, but tread VERY carefully. When we find subterfuge this close to home, and from a explicitly trusted source, more may be afoot than just what has been discovered. Not knowing all the details, ie what is being said etc etc, I feel I must suggest it is imperative, albeit very difficult, to put aside your history, and treat this as somebody who, for whatever reason, may be trying or planning to do you potentially serious harm. So take all necessary precautions! I know your heart must be telling you this is not possible, but I would suggest it would say the same about what has already taken place.
|
|
|
tallslenderguy(other male)
|
4 years ago •
Oct 11, 2020
30 years is a long relationship... in a sense, you have grown up together? This is just my experience, i don't assume it's universal.
my experience has been that in long relationship (i was married 31 years), we can develop patterns where we relate to our ideas and knowledge of who the other person is vs continuing to listen and look at the actual person. Positive stuff and negative. For instance, try doing a little fill in the blank exercise and write it down using: "You are so_________________. It can be ramped up by adding qualifiers like "You are so_______________ when i_________. The first identifies things your perceive that are independent of you, the second things that are in relationship to you. If you both do the exercise, then compare notes, it can uncover a lot. The things you argue about, the topics you have learned to bury in order to avoid arguing... to me, those are the ones that build resentment, hurt/anger. i believe a lot of guys express pain and hurt through anger because guys are more culturally conditioned to not show or express hurt, so it comes out in other ways. Unfortunately, anger is often not seen for what it is, because it's socially unacceptable, even shamed, so a lot of guys bottle their hurt until it comes bursting out in, sometimes, violence... or a heart attack or stroke, a broken body. Or, maybe, "unkind things" said while you sleep, because he is afraid to say them while you are awake? idk, it's all speculation, just some thoughts. |
|
|
|
BigBubbles
|
4 years ago •
Oct 11, 2020
I agree with IowaDom. Be cautious. Maybe tell a friend or family member about what's going on before you confront him about it. I was speaking on how I would handle it and that may not be the best way to go. I'm too dumb to be scared of anyone. I sometimes wonder how I'm still alive. Please let us know you are ok after talking with him.
|
|
|
|
Low{BLK OWND}
|
4 years ago •
Oct 11, 2020
I will be ok I just have to be somehow aware while sleeping to stand up for myself
Thats the hard part cause I'm sleeping! We started to talk in general ways though ... But more work us needed I think its coming when I'm sleeping because I'm usually very take no shit while I'm awake I appreciate the responses very much This is a very caring ❤ community |
|
|