Sensitive Bitches

Got a question? You come across a sub (yea right) who has a Dominant. But the submissive disrespects you and you are a Dominant...

And her Dominant is in approval of her bratty behavior...

How do you control yourself?

How do you respond?

Having asked my own Master, he comments as follows:

In such a situation, I would immediately question my own maturity, realise I'm an entitled egotistical moron who needs to learn basic respect and etiquette, and develop a general understanding of the lifestyle and the rights of others. I would then proceed to educate myself on how not to be an entitled child and the benefits of respecting other people's dynamics and the limitations of my own supposed "authority". Especially within the context of my crushing and abject failure to determine what a decent Dominant and member of the community should act like. To finish, I would go stare at myself in the mirror for a minimum of 2 hours whilst seriously pondering my attitude and choices up to this point. Leading to the inevitable conclusion that I'm undeserving of the title.


To translate:
This post reads as the typical "insta-dom" type post, written by someone who feels entitled to be treated a certain way by others because of the status they assume they have.
Identifying as a D-type does not mean you are automatically entitled to respect and deference from others, even s-types. Respect and authority is earned, and only given with CONSENT.
s-types are not doormats, they are usually strong independent people with thoughts and feelings of their own. They CHOOSE to submit to THEIR D-type because they want to. Not because it's expected, or demanded. They do not have to submit to everyone that comes along and calls themself a D-type.

@Dai and Charlie

Yes. You are correct. Titles and most of all trust are earned. It's why I request to not be addressed by a title. Just a name. That title is earned. But my question is...how do you address or approach or even communicate with a submissive or dominant who tests your boundaries? Honestly? You've never stumbled upon someone who has pushed your buttons?

And the topic is...if you do...then what do you do...I guess logic is to agree to disagree ✌

In all honesty, we tend not to give these people the time of day.

Anyone that cannot abide by clear established boundaries is not somebody we deem worthy of being in our lives, or indeed the lifestyle in general.

Unfortunately it's common for us - particularly charlie - to come accross the "insta-dom" type who have no respect for her as a person or for our dynamic. One such example was a person who threatened to "cut off" her collar!

If we're in a positive mood these people are simply blocked and we move on with our lives. However, we will occasionally vent our frustration by very bluntly attempting education of these people. We will tell them exactly where they went wrong, why their attitude needs adjusting, and why we don't appreciate being spoken to in such a manner. charlie's record is 3 messages before she was blocked by said insta-dom.

The problem is we have no idea what the conversation is, so from the other side maybe what was said was viewed as disrespectful by the sub and her Dom. Or maybe this submissive has had dominants who have lambasted her inbox and she’s sick of it.

Assuming it wasn’t either or any of those, I would just be the bigger person and directly state that you don’t appreciate their behaviour towards you and just block them and move on (assuming they’re on this site). No point in getting worked up over them, I mean everyone is entitled to some level of respect regardless of who they are but if they can’t offer that basic level then they’re not worth your time.

@Dai and charlie...yes! You are so right. I guess I'm just baffled because...I guess...well I've encountered these situations before...even trained and counseled others thru them. But. ...dang lol....it's just...a wow moment for me. I guess because it hasn't happened in a while...plus...when I'm within my circle or club...I'm well known. So I got accustomed to a level of respect but even outside of that...you get use to common courtesy...smh...but...well...even that is hard to come by. Sorry for the rant...but maybe I wasn't bothered by the d/s thing...more of a people and common sense thing *sighs*

@LaVieEnRose​

Yup. Didn't want to really block...never needed too. But background? And honestly...I should have kept quiet (but that's never been me lol). Hmmm...looking back on it. I should have taken the age old advice. If you don't have anything nice to say...say nothing at all...but I think the whining got to me. So I was in the wrong. I don't handle that well in work meetings...let alone here. I gotta work on that lol

I treat them like someone's misbehaving child

..... We can't and don't get on with everyone.... Try as we may ?