Sub drop for recovering addict

Sub drop for recovering addict

KatyLatex​(dom female) • Dec 3, 2022

Asking if anyone has any suggestions or experience with sub drop for a sub who is an addict in recovery?

I’m aware a sub drop can release a whole load of endorphins and be a big experience. I’m wondering if that might be difficult for someone in recovery to cope with as it may trigger them and remind them of the rush experienced during the addiction.

I’m a novice Domme, and I’m thinking about getting into D/s dynamic with a sub who is an addict in recovery. My previous D/s experience was great but didn’t reach the level of intensity to have a sub drop. But I know the new sub very well and there is high chance of developing a very close relationship that could lead to a strong sub drop. He is a novice sub, he has not experienced sub drop before so he can’t tell me what it would be like for him. I’m just wanting to be prepared and do some research beforehand. Thanks!

SirsBabyDoll​(sub female){Pizza+☕} • Dec 4, 2022

I have to say that *that* is some wonderful "out of the box" thinking. The web of connections you must have made in order to reach this question is fascinating to me.

I don't know the answer to your question, but it's though provicing and I hope someone can help you.

I'm a recovering alcoholic but everyone is different and every addiction is different. I suppose the answer is connected to WHY they became addicted. Was it to feel the high, or was it to avoid feeling the low...?

Find that answer and you may find the answer to the one you asked.

B L O N D I E​(sub female) • Dec 4, 2022

If you're worried about your sub dropping, the best medicine for that is for you to be there for him. Check in with him. Reassure him that you still care for him and that you're there to support him. He may need more of this than your average sub, but I find that this kind of support and reassurance from a dominant is the best thing to relieve sub drop.

All of us have personal wellness issues that come to light in sub drop situations. The best thing to do on both sides of the slash is to emphasize self care. As his dominant, you are in a unique position to ensure that he keeps taking care of himself, following his recovery plans, and staying on his path of improving himself. Your support will be invaluable. Believe me.

Miki​(masochist female) • Dec 5, 2022

First order of biz... and "sub-drop" is the least of what I am addressing--- How long has the sub been in recovery?? From what I have learned from people I know who are in recovery, as well as reading up on the subject, for those in "Early" recovery--- be it in a 12-step group or other methods, major decisions, including relationships of any kind are not recommended. Any addiction, either to alcohol, drugs, and even gambling for that matter--- scrambles the fuck out of one's thought processes and it takes a significant period of time to work on "self"-- Rearranging priorities, learning to avoid "stinking thinking" as one of their slogans go-- take precedence over all else.

Ridding one's lifestyle of the shit they did and may have enjoyed at one point during their active addictions-- "People, Places, and Things" that must be shit-canned-- and not missed because they lead people back to bad habits-- The list is long and I hate walls of text, both seeing them and writing them, so to put it in a nut-sack, major life decisions, relationships, are just not approached properly for the newly-recovering addict.

The suggested rule of thumb is 5 years, but as always, one's mileage may vary.

moll​(other female){owned slav} • Dec 7, 2022

KateyLatex,

I applaud that you are taking the time to gather information about whether it is a good idea or not to take a recovering addict into sub space or not. That is very commendable because it shows that you have a lot of respect for play partners.

The best place to get qualified advice is from an addiction professional that also deals with people in BDSM communities...a psychologist, licensed addiction counselor, etc. A lot of these folks will have referral information and they will be delighted to share it with you. The best place to find them is at NCSFreedom.org. There is a section on the site for Kink Aware Professionals.

Also, and this is a MAJOR important part.....find out if the sub has a therapist that they are working with. Find out if the sub has talked to their therapist about their involvement in BDSM and if so....hopefully they have....this is really a subject that the sub can bring up in session: how to deal with it, is it a good idea, would it be safe, are they ready for the intensity, etc.

Serious KUDOS to you!

tallslenderguy​(other male) • Dec 7, 2022

i find this to be a wonderfully considerate question.

Speculating 'out loud' here:

Since lots of addictions are a form of self medication, it could be that the need this person was trying to 'medicate' is something/s that can be met in relationship? i.e. the experience/s that may cause 'sub drop' may be the true and healthy sustanance, nurture this person needs that they were trying to fill with another substance?

KatyLatex​(dom female) • Dec 7, 2022

Thank you for all your replies. I realised a few more details may help. I would be in a full time relationship with the sub so I’d be able to support him through sub drop. He has done a lot of work with a therapist to get into good recovery from the addiction and I think the suggestion to discuss sub drop with a BDSM/kink friendly therapist is a good idea, thanks. Thry can help us decide if he is ready for this, although I think for him it would be a healthy alternative to addiction, as tallslenderguy suggested.

moll​(other female){owned slav} • Dec 7, 2022

Well...I'm thrilled that you are open to speaking with your sub's therapist about this. Kudos. Be aware that subspace can be just as addicticting. Sounds weird, but true.

I can't explain the biological mechanics, but reaching subspace is a biological reaction in the brain similar to the reaction to taking drugs. So going with the premise that subspace can be a healthier alternative is not all that accurate. Sorry...don't mean to be negative, just being realistic.

What is important is that you are taking great steps to protect your sub.

tallslenderguy​(other male) • Dec 7, 2022

[quote="moll"]

Maybe talking about the release of endorphins. Releasing endorphins without 'substance abuse" (like drugs) is considered by medical science to be healthy.

"Both legal and illegal opioid medications have potential for addiction, which may lead to overdose or death.

While endorphins may not have as large of an effect as opioids, they can produce a “high” that is both healthy and safe.

Chemically synthesized opioids work more quickly than endorphins. This may help explain why using opioid drugs can lead to severe substance use disorders."

https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/320839#what-are-endorphins

moll​(other female){owned slav} • Dec 7, 2022

[quote="tallslenderguy"]


I don't know KatyLatex's sub, I don't know what drugs the person took, I don't know their personality, and I am not a medical professional in any way. I have seen, because I work for a psychologist, many people who just exchange one addiction for another (working out, sex, etc) whether or not they are less or more healthy all depends the situation and perspective. Yes, I get that taking a drug is more immediately destructive to the body than being addicted to subspace, but there are also people who are so addicted that they start taking greater risks to get to the high. It's just reality.

Here's the thing: we can discuss the ins and out of addiction and post links to studies ad nauseum, but the fact remains that neither of us know KatyLatex's sub, or at least I don't, and don't know how her sub will react to the highs of subspace and the lows of subdrop or even what the sub will do to get back to that high. These are things that KatyLatex is obviously getting prepared to deal with and that, to me, is what is important. Thank you for the lively discourse.