Moments of doubts

Moments of doubts

Liliac​(sub female) • May 3, 2018

Hi.
For those who haven't known, I am a new submissive knowing exactly what I want and trying to grab hold of it after a moment of clarity. At first when I got into this site, I was so excited and tried to answer every single one of the messages even though if they are ones from the not-so-dominant-men. But now that I had time to settle down, maybe I am feeling down or whatsoever, I just find myself not being energetic enough to patiently answer messages. Maybe the excitement wore off or maybe I was just a bit bummed in being naive enough to think that most of the doms would be caring and would be a potential Dom for me..I don't know.
What I want to know is, is it normal to have your enthusiasm dimmed? Is this just a moment? Will it pass or will I feel like this for a long time? Can any experienced submissives give me some insights?

Asteria​(neither female) • May 3, 2018

At the beginning, when everything is new and exciting, it is normal that you feel like you had more energy. It is also completely OK to feel down and disappointed when this excitement is gone or is not that strong as it used to be.
Even though this website is nice and there are plenty of nice people here, you need to take into account that there are also people who have nothing in common with Dominants, submissives etc.
Not everyone is caring. Not everyone is going to be a potential Dominant for you either. This you also need to keep in mind and try not to rush things in order to avoid feeling down at some point.

The question is, do you always have to be energetic and patient?
Take your time, enjoy conversations if they are interesting and don't force yourself to feel always energetic, excited and patient

Liliac​(sub female) • May 3, 2018

Thanks Asteria...I do know the excitement won't last forever. But it feels like I am in a slump so that got me worried. But nonetheless, I can pick myself up and be myself so no worries. Thanks for the insight love. You guys are awesome!

Asteria​(neither female) • May 3, 2018

It's not easy to find someone. I know that all those crappy messages you probably get are not helpful. Sometimes when I see what I receive myself, I am losing my faith in humanity
But I have met here quite a few nice and decent people, so I am assuming that it is not _impossible_ to find a match. It just takes some time and you'll have to be patient (towards yourself, not towards fake instadoms - those do not deserve your patience )

Jezey​(sub female) • May 4, 2018

It’s exciting at first but some of the messages can get overwhelming and dim the excitement. I would suggest being selective, you dont have to reply to every message. You also don’t have to continue conversations that aren’t doing it for you. Good luck

Liliac​(sub female) • May 4, 2018

Thank you for ur input everyone! From the time I started this journey, I have always known it's gonna be a hard road but still, I am holding onto my optimism. From all thr positive vibe that you have given me, I am happy to ignore all those that only want the physical aspect of things and just focus on my development as a submissive for now. Thank you for the help everyone. Ur kindness has been one of the reasons why I stay on this site.

Cithaeria • May 4, 2018

Your enthusiasm is beautiful! It’s you shooting yourself as an arrow into the lifestyle that you feel you’re meant to live. When you landed, you were in a new place, colorful and exciting.

Some of the dragons lined up for a pat on the head and a chance to be noticed by you. There are an endless line of them. It’s exhausting and you need to give yourself a chance to step back and look at the rest of the beauty of the landscape.

There are many quality people to meet and things to learn. Regroup, recharge and look at it with a new perspective. That will afford you the energy to keep moving forward.

Your enthusiasm may have dimmed, but it’s still there.

Cherry2000​(sub female) • May 4, 2018

I can so relate to your issue. I have been on the site for a small amount of time and I have been barraged with some very interesting people. I have found out the hard way that not all of them portray themselves for what they really are or want. I am now going to try again, but take my time and not just jump in without giving it ample time. I can thank my last Dom for that lesson. Good luck and I wish you the best!

Dumbledore​(dom male) • May 4, 2018

Sorry for that experience, but it's one most of us go through at some point or another I'm afraid. People aren't any more truthful here than they are in real life; but as you say "give it ample time".

Just take things slowly, and learn to see people who don't want to agree to take things slowly as a really important red flag. And have fun just being on the site too; don't focus too much on trying to find someone "at all costs".

MasterNeil77722​(dom male) • May 5, 2018

Communication and trust is everything in what we do. Taking the time to have open and clear conversations about what you want and how you want to proceed, then really listen to what the other person has to say is very important. If you are not comfortable with what you hear then don’t move forward. You have the ultimate control. If trust does not start to grow during initial conversations then the rest probably would not work. The good news is, that’s is ok. Stay true to what you want and who you want to be. There is no ticking clock for this. Do not compromise for the sake of expediency. When you find that right person it’s totally worth it. Learn and enjoy while you wait. Good luck.