Kinks: Into everything?

Kinks: Into everything?

Little Vixie​(sub female)​{Mgh30} • Feb 22, 2025

I've seem to be running into more people that when asked "what are your kinks", I get back "I'm into everything. You name it, I like it". And this is coming from those that call themselves Dom/Domme

Im a crazy for thinking that this is a cop out answer or at least a BS answer?

For my age, I have gotten really good at being able to weed out the fake doms. One question I ask is "what are you kinks?".
My friend just found herself a Master last night and she seems pretty excited about him. When doing my usual questions, I asked that question and how ling hed been apart of the lifestyle. He responded back "I'm into everything. You name it i like it" and "I've been doing this for while.". My friend is a little greener when it comes to the life style so I believe he assumed that I would've just went along with it.

Instead I asked "so needle play, receiving anal, and breathe play?". (Usually most will panic at receiving anal and back peddle). He responded "I've never done anal before. It'll make me nervous, but I'll try it.".
So I asked if he was a switch.
He tried to play it off and i made a comment on how MOST doms don't recieve and he responded "i said I'd try it, not that I would like it".

This turned into me telling him I'm particular about who i play with and how my Dom gets final say. He ended up telling me that "I'll be such a pretty doll" and how he expects me to please him and how my friend will please me. That i don't need to piss him off or I'll be punished and i will never forget those punishments.

Ended the conversations by telling him he was being extremely disrespectful and that I will not participate in a dynamic that I am not consenting to. He ended it with "eh, so be it".


Im not insane am i?

RowanPoe​(other male) • Feb 22, 2025

There are a lot of inexperienced Dom's out there. There are Dominants that don't read or seek out a Mentor. Plenty of people who are swingers who think they're experiences in that lifestyle will translate to this one. It's a real shit show but no more than anywhere else online.

You should definitely have a few questions for weeding these people out. I think you made the right call. He didn't sound like he's even thought about safewords or concent. Did he spend anytime at all getting to know your kinks, history, and triggers? What a collar means to you personally? What dominance means to him? Expectations on behavior?

Little Vixie​(sub female)​{Mgh30} • Feb 23, 2025

His first question to me was "are you on Birth control?". He had my friend come to me and ask for me to join in on their 3some. To me, I think he was hoping I was inexperience as her.

K y i v • Feb 23, 2025

You are a good friend, vixie. All new subs could use your help.

dollMaker​(dom male) • Feb 23, 2025

Another wanabee fantasist by the sound of it and only by being educated, can you detect their bs. I suspect they wouldn’t know one end of a doll from the other either. Maybe experienced with pamela and her five sisters.

From what you have said, your bs detector was working well, and your friend is at the least in danger of emotional abuse, damage and at worst physical abuse and being hurt. These kind of people have no idea how to do much safely, have minimal to no experience with activity, techniques and don’t know how to mitigate risks with toys.

Your friend should run, in my opinion.

TopekaDom​(dom male) • Feb 23, 2025

"I'm into everything" is the Dom version of the "No limits slave".

Utter bullshit.

Re: Kinks: Into everything?

intenseoldman​(dom male) • Feb 23, 2025

No brainer. You're smart. It's just this dynamic seemed to transpire rather instantly and your friend should be concerned. I hope she listens to you.

House Talion​(dom male) • Mar 3, 2025

You get the same problem from the subs without limits till I tell them to visit and they ghost me

Steellover​(sub male) • Mar 4, 2025

Everyone has limits. Problem is, some of them they just don't know it. With inexperienced people new to the lifestyle, they might not yet realize what those limits are. And it's up to them to discover that, hopefully before jumping into what could be a really negative situation. I think, this site is a good resource for that.

Heero​(dom male) • Mar 4, 2025

I agree with what you said, but I think the issue gets much worse than that.

One of the best case scenarios is that the person is too lazy to think, or maybe can't think(?) (You'd be surprised how many people think they're thinking when they're actually ruminating, but I digress). And that's already a pretty bad scenario to be in.

Anyone who sits down and thinks for 5 minutes would be able to come up with several limits that they have. Some are "obvious"/common. So I would think when they say "no limits", they mean "no limits besides the obvious...death, dismemberment, etc." The issue with that is, when you leave it up to someone else to choose what you would "obviously" be into or not, well, it's easy to get into some very hot water.

Another common reason for doing this is trying to become whatever someone else would want you to be in an attempt to reel them in. The "I'm into whatever you're into" is a very common tactic. Heck, loads of people use it when interviewing for a job, for instance. "I'm totally super passionate about the mission statement of your corporation, it's my life's mission statement in fact!" It's just a way to get in the door.

I would tend to agree that this is not the sort of person you'd want to get into a dynamic with on either side of the slash. But then, that's probably because I'm not one of the "I have no standards" people.