Why do you choose to submit?

Why do you choose to submit?

intenseoldman​(dom male) • May 6, 2025

I was talking to someone who said she couldn't understand why a Dom would want to take on all the responsibility and work of being a Dom. It made me think about how much I assume about the other side of the /, but might not really understand. I asked a while back if submission was a coice or someone's nature. Now I believe, even if it is your nature, being a submissive is still your choice. Why then does a submissive choose to submit?

Amaltheas Joy​(switch female)​{Honeybadgr} • May 6, 2025

Good question. Sometimes I ask myself that very question. Why put up with some of the drama and the shit?

Part of it is because it is in my nature. I do not always like to be in charge or to lead. Not ALWAYS. I cant help that I am almost always right and resourceful and can do it myself 😉. In all seriousness, I want a place where I can figuratively let mu hair down. I can give up control of some aspects of my crazy world because it grounds me. It helps me feel cared for, that I belong, that I am protected, and that I matter.

I have an incredibly stressful job. I play it light, but it is stressful. I am also an active mom and I take parenthood seriously. I am involved. My marriage is strong, but we have had our moments because we don't have outside support and we had to heal our own wounds caused by kids and society. So sometimes submitting to a Daddy let's me just be little. Tell me what to do. Let me give up control, even for just a couple hours. Let's create a ritual to break up the crazy day.

NarahPrimal​(sub female) • May 8, 2025

Wow that's a good question and a tricky one I'm gonna have to think hard lol.
I guess for me it's about that instant connection (I'm a sapio lol)
The deeper you get to know that person and become apart of each other's world.
I think for me it's something you don't plan on doing it's a feeling that you can't deny it's something that you crave. It's the feeling of wanting to follow them and follow their lead.
It a feeling of belonging as if you are ment to be there.
Maybe I'm just strange lol

Steellover​(sub male) • May 8, 2025

I'll take a stab at answering: Because it allows you to drop out of the focus on the problems and daily stresses of your own life, and to focus completely on your partner's needs. When you surrender to your partner, your needs, and the stresses of your daily grind, fall away.... and there is only her. (or Him, depending.)

Neverland Lost girl​(masochist female) • May 9, 2025

Submission is a choice, being submissive I think is nature.

For me, the choice to submit is actually really empowering.

In the right dynamic- boundries and limits are respected- safe words used, yes I’m submitted entirely- but with the power to stop everything in an instant, not that I have or do, but I can.

I personally like to be pushed through boundries and limits, and when I am, I’m like, super proud of myself for that.

Makes me feel valuable. Empowered and good about myself

Sweetlydepraved​(masochist female)​{Claimed } • May 9, 2025

I have a very simple take on submission, I obey. The complicated part is WHO I obey. I submit to someone I deem worthy for a couple of reasons. 1: Because it is my nature 2: Because it comes with a deep connection 3: It’s sexy and hot. None of that matters or works with the wrong person though.

I have to 100% trust his judgement in everything from diet, to lifestyle, to financial management, to personal growth and so on because when I submit it is in all areas of life. This does not mean he is telling me what to do every minute of the day, that’s tedious as fuck for both s and D.

What it means is little by little becoming attuned to his preferences in things as minute as the way I fix my hair or as big as how I spend my free time and definitely catering to his sexual preferences. It is an evolution and always changing. I find a great deal of fulfillment knowing that my existence is his idea of perfection and that by existing in this state of his ideal, I am pleasing him 24/7.

This is not one-sided, he also becomes attuned to me. It shows in the way he takes care of me, the way he accepts my core personality, the way he’s equally vulnerable with me. It’s a never ending cycle of one soul fulfilling another in the ways those souls need.

intenseoldman​(dom male) • May 9, 2025

Thanks for replying, everyone.
My take so far is you choose submission because:
you want to follow your nature
you want to feel relieved
you want to feel empowered
you want to feel deeply connected
you want to feel valued
you want to be fulfilled

I want to put nature and fulfillment together. NP says it's a feeling you can't deny, a craving, and NL notes that being a submissive isn't really a choice but the act of submission is. Fulfillment comes in different ways for every submissive, as it does for everyone regardless of our roles. We are all individuals with unique needs. Nature and fulfillment are strong themes, though. Everyone wants to be fulfilled. If our roles are our natures, how could we ever be fulfilled outside of them?
Knowing the other side of the slash better and all that it means to submit is valuable insight. Again, thanks for your replies.

chattel​(sub female) • May 10, 2025

It simpky feels natural to please

Bunnie • May 13, 2025

It’s just how I love. When I love someone and that love is accepted, nurtured, and embraced, they become the Sun in which I orbit. Sounds tacky I know lol, but it is what it is.
I am (mostly lol) compliant to authority, and kindness-driven by nature, however, I really only *surrender* through love, admiration and respect.

MidSummerDream​(neither female)​{BothHold🗝} • May 14, 2025

Two people come together that connected aligned , submit to each other and share the love and passion in being one combined. It's a beautiful thing but it needs two people not just one, we are all still human.