Online Sessions

Online Sessions

Lucifer Morningstar​(switch male) • Aug 18, 2018

First off, I do want to apologize if there is already a topic on this or if it's been talked about alot. I was looking for advice for online sessions, usually over video chat. I know it can be limiting to a point but my sub does have some toys that we use but I usually do the same things every time with minor switch ups. I am somewhat familiar with online submission but most of my time in this lifestyle has been offline. I've tried to research different things but haven't had much luck. I'm not sure if I'm looking in the right places or what. My sub hasn't complained but I do want different ideas so it doesn't get repetitive and we both enjoy our time. I want to be the best Dom I can be for her but my knowledge in this realm is lacking. I do thank anyone in advance for their input. I do also want to apologize if this is in the wrong forum. I wasn't sure where it should go. I hope that everyone has a great day or night.

Beastly​(dom male){Not Lookin} • Aug 18, 2018

Have you discussed any of this with her? As in asked her if she has any ideas or fantasies that you could play out, or does that feel like giving up control of being the Dom having to ask the Sub for "help"?

Philly Belwas​(dom male) • Aug 18, 2018

Really for yourself it depends what you are trying to get out of the session. For me I prefer to have them listen and use voice chat over video. It let's them immerse themselves in the moment and just close their eyes and follow the commands. If they are trying to make sure camera angles are right or holding a device it becomes limiting in my mind. Once limited they cannot fully slip into subspace and just let go.

I also bring everyday items into the sessions so they see them throughout the day and builds the want and need for play time and release. For example Bobby pins are great for nipple play just do not leave them on too long. Ice is also useful if you can master how to use it as a teasing agent. Finally I go back and forth between telling them what to do and also telling them what I am going to do to them IRL situations.

Ultimately it comes down between you and your sub and conversations should be had in my opinion after each session to recap likes and dislikes.

Lucifer Morningstar​(switch male) • Aug 19, 2018

Beastly, I do understand the meaning behind the latter question. I know some Doms see it that way but we have great communication and we have had some great in depth conversations about what we want when we meet. It just never spawns new ideas when it comes to online. I do thank you for your input though. Kempo, that's also a great idea. It's something that I'm definitely going to try because I see your point about being her being able to fully get into it instead of worrying about positioning. The household items is also a good one. I do really thank you two for your responses. I don't have alot of experience with online as I said up there but that's one of the things I love about this lifestyle. You can always learn and grow in new way. I am extremely grateful you two made the time to reply. Thank you again.

Philly Belwas​(dom male) • Aug 19, 2018

Lucifer,

You're welcome for the reply. I also do not have much experience with the online stuff so it is a lot of learning in the moment. Like I know I broke some bounds on a recent session and we talked about it afterwards. Now I have a better understanding of what she enjoys and does not enjoy.

Any other questions let us know and good luck!

MissBonnie​(dom female){oz} • Aug 21, 2018

When I first started online that transition to online was strange. I'd been off line for so long (20plus years)the no touch took me ages to over come. with time it does get easier, so hang in there it can be just as rewarding as face to face.

The others have given you some great advice. I also found it helpful to put together a folder of ideas. When I spotted an image that sparked off an idea, or a story, video etc. i'd add them to my folder. Additionally ask you sub to do the same when they see an image/video/text that gets them going (this also gives them a sense of purpose and chance to 'help'). Then every so often I'd go through the folder to spark off ideas to build on. I'd also re arrange the folder contents into themes, so I could do theme days and assign written tasks to help the sub with (pre)headspace..or gather an item needed...or watch a video/read a text to set the scene etc. I think when you start to build ideas and learn to use those ideas in an online way you'll be fine! Relax, build on what you have...expand and grow

bluuwolfe • Aug 26, 2018

Lucifer Morningstar,

There has been some solid advice given thus far, and I'd like to add a little to the conversation here.

I've had a few healthy relationships with submissives that involved varying degrees of online and/or distance, one of which was purely online.

As stated above, what you and your submissive want to get out of your online sessions is the most important thing, and it is paramount that you both understand what the both of you are looking for from your time spent in this way.
Your desires for her, and your desires for yourself. Her desires for you, and her desires for herself. Discuss these things often leading up to your sessions together, because any or even all of those desires can shift or change as time goes on.

Without knowing the intricacies of your dynamic and what you two already experience together in these sessions makes recommending things somewhat difficult, so instead I will mention a method I took to with my online submissive.
Her and I had a weekly time we spent on video chat. At the end of these sessions, her and I would discuss positives and negatives of our interactions and then finish out the session being "Dominant" and "submissive". Just talking and discussing the next week ahead, usually pertaining to our dynamic.
Then three days later we had a short check in window. We would go over any new thoughts or concerns about last session(sometimes it takes a day or so to form these opinions) then quickly discuss the specific desires for the upcoming session.

This allowed us to go into each session with clarity and understanding about what both parties were looking for.
New idea would stem from this. The desires leading into activities or discussion unexplored times before, or even revisiting specific desires that were viewed as successful or that have become missed as time passed.

I hope this gives a little insight and helps you both in this. Communication is always always key!

Best of luck to you!

incubuswannabe • Aug 26, 2018

What about VR? It's still clunky (and expensive) to use, but it opens up a whole new sensory world...

Cilantro​(dom male) • Aug 27, 2018

It would actually be really useful to make some material for this specific topic, lots of potential there.

Finished​(switch female) • Aug 31, 2018

Ok, here’s my 2 cents from the sub side. I’ve had only one online D/s relationship, short but intense. Here’s what worked for me.

First, I would stick with just audio most of the time for the session and use video chat for aftercare, talking and other communication mainly because of what’s been said previously- she doesn’t have to worry about video angles, how things look, etc. and can get fully immersed in your voice - which is incredibly sexy to a sub and let’s her imagination really take over.

Second, in between sessions, if you are giving her every day tasks, really incorporate her work life, commute, after work activities,
into her submission to you. It doesn’t have to be blantant to anyone else - in fact, the more she can get away with keeping a secret just between the two of you the more she’ll feel just yours.

Third, start tag teaming your fantasies to each other in email or messaging, meaning she can start a scenario, then you add a part, then she adds more, then you and so on. This can be great fun and keep arousal levels high throughout the day for both of you and may spark new ideas for when you have sessions.

Hope these ideas help! ?