It not about physical attraction

sweet november​(sub female) • Sep 30, 2019

Beautiful people can turn very ugly once you see what's inside.

JohnBond​(dom male){Kitten} • Sep 30, 2019

I do think that it’s important to draw the distinction between being traditionally “attractive” vs finding YOUR partner physically attractive.

Be whatever it is you wanna be and however you want to be it! I would just assume, I suppose, that whoever you ran into finds you attractive in that capacity! I’m certainly no model but I know my love is very attracted to me, physically and otherwise.

The same can be said about her. I would argue though that she should be on the cover of those magazines (though I’d never want to share her with the world in that way). To me, she is the sexiest thing on this planet.

as it has been said though, that is just one aspect of the connection. We do very well because we connect there, in our views, common interests, we even find the way the other thinks attractive (at least I do her) so balance is of course very important but I do think physical attraction is a relevant part of that balance

Re: It not about physical attraction

Miki​(masochist female) • Sep 30, 2019

I read the inputs on this thread and I'm not going to get mired into "Point: / Counterpoint". I Am Addressing the original post directly:

***

Just my opinion: All that talk of "it's the personality" is high school shit.

Yes appearance MATTERS. At least in the initial phase.

That is why it is called "attraction". And there is nothing wrong with that.

Speaking only for myself, I will not allow today's "political correctness" shit to dictate to me who I go to bed with. But that's just in my context because that is all I do right now. No relationships-- none of that. Fuck Me / Forget Me. I'll Do Likewise.

In the long term of course, "personality matters" to a DEGREE. -- so therein lies the rub: It Depends On What One Seeks.--

For me, greasy and potentially smelly guys? No Thanks. Don't care if you have a heart of gold, I'm not looking for one, but if I were, "Would I want to be seen out-and-about with (rhet) you?"

Tough, Hard, Cruel even --but face it, who wants to wake up next morning with someone in your bed that you wouldn't want to scrape off our shoe? Human Nature. Part of the deal.

wagmel • Sep 30, 2019

No physical attraction isn't temperary.

Bunnie • Sep 30, 2019

To those who always say that physical attraction doesn’t matter, I often ask... what makes you approach someone in person? Before you exchange anything... you are attracted to something about them physically.

Even online... how long before you’re wondering what they look like?

I think what is often confused when we come to this topic is defining what exactly is meant by “physical.”

I believe the assumption that creates the conflict in regards to physical attraction mattering, is that it’s misconstrued that when someone talks about physical attributes they’re talking about magazine looks.

I know for myself that physical attraction is very important, however what I am attracted to physically has nothing to do with how “pretty” or “beautiful” or “perfect” or “masculine” *society* says someone is. It’s the attributes and characteristics that I *personally* find attractive that appeal to me and catch my eye... the things that make my heart skip a beat from across the room... whatever they may be. Because it also varies with each person... what makes one person amazing in my eyes, is not what makes me want to fall at the feet of another.

For me personally... *presence* plays a huge part in my attraction to someone. It’s not so much about confidence... it’s about how well they’ve mastered themselves... physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. It’s how I feel within myself when I’m in that person’s vicinity.

Ignoring or denying someone’s physicality is in my opinion, almost telling them that you’re unwilling to accept all parts of them. It’s not about simply pretending something isn’t relevant for me... it’s about loving and accepting someone exactly as they are.

noviceslavedavid​(sub male) • Oct 1, 2019

I would think that physical attraction plays a role for sure. I would not want to be with a woman where there is not mutual attraction. Of course, once the relationship gets off the ground other things come into play like common interests and values and intelligence.

wagmel • Oct 1, 2019

Well of course. It has to be perfect.

pi in your eye​(other female) • Oct 2, 2019

Attraction is that spark... the chemistry that binds one to another. It is important, important enough to know that if you are basically compromising eventually it will result in resentment or rejection.

I am older, and I don't hear younger men wax poetically about older women, but I think we bring the same sense of history and sensibility that older men do. As others have pointed out it also has to do with how the other treats you and how they make you feel...all of those things have an attractiveness involved in them.

If you wanted to be with the younger version of myself, it isn't possible any more; but that younger version didn't know or have the insight this older version does. It is subjective and could be anything you want... like they say "one man's trash is another man's treasure". It all depends on the person and personality, who knows what turns the chemistry on in another?

BelleMel​(sub female) • Oct 2, 2019

In my experience, men become more or less physically attractive to me the more I get to know them. Not just attractive as a person, but the way they actually look to me. The more intelligent, interesting, funny, and hard working he is, the better looking he gets.

Of course if a man doesn't take care of his physical appearance, none of it is going to matter. I'm probably not going to want him to touch me with dirty finger nails, hug me with a stinky body, or kiss me with gross teeth. The important thing is that these are all things that can be controlled.

Al Le Gory​(sadist female) • Oct 2, 2019

Whilst Adonis types may be eye candy, they tend to be narcissistic, superficial and full of shit.