Miss stasia
I am going to force myself to stop rolling my eyes at MrPain's helpful dump of softporn and bring this conversation back to the original question.
Let me see if I can paraphrase the questions I see....
1. Go easy on a newbie? 😊
Of course
its really great when newbies ask interesting questions. In general this tends to be a very educational site with people willing to debate and discuss.
2. I haven't found anyone who really interests me yet
I think it really is a numbers game. This is especially true if you are only responding to messages in your inbox or looking at ads from people looking for partners. As has been said many times men outnumber the women by a huge margin here but a significant portion of those men are not 'keepers' and you really do need to filter those out. Also, you are probably looking for what you imagine to be your 'perfect' Dom, and I'd bet five pounds that he doesn't exist. I'd suggest that you approach any people here that interest you: whether they be Doms or subs or switches, whether they be in relationships or not. If you start dialogue with the intention of learning from them, rather than starting a relationship, then that really takes the pressure off yourself. I think you will find interesting people by lurking in the forums and blogs. By reading what people write you will quickly see who you are drawn to intellectually. The whole approach of: I saw you wrote this ... and it really interested me, could we chat about it sometime? - well, that gets me every time.
4. Will online work for me?
Lets take this one first. I have said this before and will repeat it again. Online is not real life, but, with the right partner, it is very intense, gives you a taste of what the real thing might look like, and allows you to build a skill set that you will need in the future. Some people love online and do it exclusively, some absolutely shun it as a lower form of kink, others have a mix of online/RL or start online and move to RL. I think the only way you will know if it works for you is if you give it a decent go. I have known many people who didn't know what to expect from online and were quite blown-away by the experience. If you are going to give it a good try I'd suggest doing that with someone who is not a newbie just so you have a reasonable chance of a satisfactory experience. An online only experience also has the advantage of you not being tethered geographically. In all likelihood a first online experience will be short and intense (most in my experience are a few weeks to a few months) but you will learn a lot in that time.
3. Where should i meet my first Dom?
I think, if you are a sensible human being who uses her brain and a bullshit detector, that here online at the cage is as good a place as anywhere to look. There are sharks in these waters, but in the world of bdsm there are sharks everywhere. The cage waters are marginally/significantly safer than some other online places. I have met previous partners in places like these - it can happen and it can lead to good, rewarding relationships. I am also a strong advocate of the social side of kink. I found that when I switched to munches and socials the need for validation by 'getting a partner' just slipped away - things became so much calmer and easier. I'd advise finding a local munch and getting involved to build yourself a good kink support network right at the beginning. I am not advising munches as a place to find your first Dom - that's also a bad strategy, but they are rather a place to build a network. I can advise where your nearest is if you wish.
I hope this is useful to you. Do not lose heart miss, there are decent people who are looking for what you are looking for. With effort and perseverance you will find what you need.
Carraway