What is a submissive really?

The Bull​(dom male) • Apr 30, 2020

Thank you Skyrich! I appreciate it!

xGabbyx​(sub female){Galy} • Apr 30, 2020

This is a refreshing thread, so many Dominants come blazing in thinking that by just demanding my respect and submission, they will receive it. I assure you this is certainly the wrong way to go. It seems like the art of wooing is long lost. Take the time to learn and accept my mind, quirks etc.., and only then will I relinquish my true submission.

skyrich​(dom male){rottenbrat} • Apr 30, 2020

My standard disclaimer applies. I write from the perspective and world-view of an alpha hetero male within a 365-24/7 TPE, RL long term relationship. Not saying this is the only way for everyone. See my blog for more information.

It's often said that submission is a gift. It's not. It must be earned through respect, trust, compassion, and a connection that is so strong that the girl feels that submission is the only course to follow. So many believe that submission is a weakness. Again, it's not. It takes an incredible amount of courage to willingly submit to another. It takes a strength of character that is quite rare in today's world.

What is a submissive? An intelligent girl with courage, selflessness, strength of character and strength of will, ability to trust, to love so deeply and so completely so as give herself fully and without reservation to her dom. And she does this knowing that he has the power to raise her to the highest highs, or to completely crush her. It is this level of trust and commitment that attracts a true dominant. He knows that she will not easily submit. If he wants her he must prove himself to her, not just once, but continually.

These character traits demand respect, and a loving hand to guide her and provide structure for her to retreat from the chaos, find sanctuary, peace and a framework to continue her evolution and development, and build her happiness.

This was a great post, Love, proud of you. Good girl!

The Bull​(dom male) • Apr 30, 2020

Hi GabyL.
I am sad to say that I think you right that wooing and or romanticism appears to be a dying art! Its really too bad, because it is a thing of beauty. 😁

rottenbrat​(sub female){Skyrich} • Apr 30, 2020

These responses are truly awesome, everyone... Please keep them coming. I think we all need a little reminder to turn up our noses at the stereotypes and show those around us who we really are. Tallslender, Sammi, Bull, Love, anyone I have missed.....Thank you all!

And Love, your response... the fact rhat you show me this daily is a big part of why I love you more with every day that passes. You have turned me into the sappy lovestruck girl I have always tried to avoid being, AND you did it in a way I will never regret. 😙🤗😍 You make me proud every day. It's a 14 hour drive.... How soon are you going to be here? 😉👅

The Bull​(dom male) • Apr 30, 2020

Hi Rottenbrat,
You are the one who picked the subject of discussion, and with all of the craziness I've read on line in the past few weeks, (New subs being stampeded, coerced or bullied by fake Dom's) I would also say that your choice of subject matter was very timely.
So a big thank you to you as well😁!

rottenbrat​(sub female){Skyrich} • May 2, 2020

Shamelessly reposting. 😁

rottenbrat​(sub female){Skyrich} • May 4, 2020

Shamelessly reposting, again 😊

tallslenderguy​(other male) • May 4, 2020

This is such an excellent and insightful post, it was encouraging and warming for me to read.

Though i found myself tripping over the word "girl." It had a sort of spinning effect on me as it bounced back and forth between my feelings and thoughts. On the one hand, i was pulled in because skyrich was describing my thoughts and feelings from the other side of the dynamic as a 'sub,' and i felt seen, recognized, understood as one who is wired that way. i hit a sort of speed bump with "girl." A "speed bump," not a wall. i have been fascinated by this for some time. i'm a gay guy, i have never identified as a female, nor felt in any sense transgender. i have come to a place where i like who i am and am comfortable with who i am, even grateful. i have connected with some guys who have used the word "girl" with/on me and it can go a few directions. There is a definite collaring place there for me, but few have seen it for what it is and latched onto it. not sure i can really fully articulate it myself? It's not a casual thing, like in the gay community where some just let phrases fly like "girlfriend." That never resonated with me, and honestly, gay guys never use that term with me... it doesn't fit. But i do have some apparently feminine attributes, or attributes that are typically associated with women (i used to be a regional director of a company and the CEO had a very dom nature. The company used psychological testing and He was chagrined when i tested as 99% "nurturing"). It's strange to me because i think i am so obviously gay, and i seem to be only to myself lol and a very few people who spot it. But it's often not the gay part that gets spotted by Guys, but seemingly the 'sub' part? And maybe using "girl" is those Guys way of emotionally reconciling an attraction that doesn't quite fit in Their own wiring when they see it i n another guy?

Presumably, skyrich was literally (and automatically?) talking about "girls" when He wrote this, with no thoughts towards 'sub' guys like me who He happened to describe, maybe unwittingly? There is mystery in this, at least for me. i'm one of those gay guys that no one can tell i'm gay, except a very few that seem to be looking for it? Meaning, i don't fit the stereotype. i think i may have had i not grown up in a culture where "men were men and women were women." i had a lot of bullies as a kid, crushes on boys, and have memories of being sort of a femboy. But i learned not to be, maybe as a survival mechanism?

This is getting sort of rambly, sorry. i guess trying to refocus this post, but not over focus, i'd like to interject that skyrich's post describes and embraces me, and i'm not a "girl" lol. And for me, that is a lot of the excitement and awesome mystery of this type of community, it's a place where non stereotypical people can be seen and heard and maybe even find deeper relationship.

skyrich​(dom male){rottenbrat} • May 4, 2020

As a hetero male, who has never been attracted to other males, I can only write, meaningfully, about my reality, and what I know. This is why I put my disclaimer on the top. I've never had a male sub, so I really have nothing from which to draw experience. So, yes, "unwittingly" and "literally" are quite correct.

I'm both pleased, and surprised that this resonated with you.