Not sure I am right here...

@ dirmn

Thank you for the supportive and kind message.

“ I believe being a proper Dom is about actions and not attitude!,”

I think is important for both Doms and subs. Actions speak louder than words, you can say whatever you want but to then follow through is the hard part. If someone is offended that they have to prove who they are and they will follow through on their actions then I worry about why? Why do you feel you deserve my undying trust when you’ve done nothing to earn it. And if in this case you’ve lost it why are you offended I’m asking you to earn it again.

But as Dirmn pointed out you saw what were red flags for YOU and that’s all that is important.

Hello Emma,
I hope and trust you are feeling well.

When someone let's us down by ignoring us or disappearing without a word it causes us pain and can make us undervalue ourselves and sow seeds of doubt in others and certainly the perpetrator.
Your wanting to feel safe is an important need and your holding back a natural response.

Why is it OK for him to disappear for a year and not for you to be cautious?
Why isn't he empathetic to your feelings?
Why is it OK for him to become angry?

I don't believe your behaviour as a submissive should be part of the equation.
What's important is your feelings of safety as a woman and submissive.
I don't know the conversations you've had and it's not for me to make decisions about your relationships. It's very easy for well meaning friends to interfere with only half the story but ask yourself the above questions.

You know, I had been seeing a submissive woman for a couple of months who wasn't messaging in a reasonable way from my point of view. This continued despite my ascertions so I stupidly decided to ignore her message for the day. This ended up as over two days.
She had told me in the beginning she had was hurt by a Dom disappearing out of the blue and I didn't consider this or her trust issues.
I assure you I meant nothing but to let her see how I felt but she lost trust in me and that, over the next few weeks ended the relationship.
This lovely, genuine woman opened up to me and I let her down.
My point is I was stupid enough to ignored her for two days and lost her trust. I never got angry, I remained positive and I tried to make amends.
Compare the difference.
And please don't judge, we can all make stupid mistakes.

Hello Emma,
I hope and trust you are feeling well.

When someone let's us down by ignoring us or disappearing without trace it causes us pain and can make us undervalue ourselves and sow seeds of doubt in others and certainly the perpetrator.
Your wanting to feel safe is an important need and your holding back a natural response.

Why is it OK for him to disappear for a year and not for you to be cautious?
Why isn't he empathetic to your feelings?
Why is it OK for him to become angry?

I don't believe your behaviour as a submissive should be part of the equation.
What's important is your feelings of safety as a woman and submissive.
I don't know the conversations you've had and it's not for me to make decisions about your relationships. It's very easy for well meaning friends to interfere with only half the story but ask yourself the above questions.

You know, I had been seeing a submissive woman for a couple of months who wasn't messaging in a reasonable way from my point of view. This continued despite my ascertions so I stupidly decided to ignore her message for the day. This unintentionally ended up as over two days.
She had told me in the beginning she had been hurt by a Dom disappearing out of the blue and I didn't consider this or her trust issues.
I assure you I meant nothing but to let her see how I felt but she lost trust in me and that, over the next few weeks ended the relationship.
This lovely, genuine woman opened up to me and I let her down.
My point is I was stupid enough to ignored her for two days and lost her trust. I never got angry, I remained positive and I tried over some time to make amends.
Compare the difference.
And please don't judge, in affairs of the heart we can all make stupid mistakes. Caring communication is the answer.

Move on Em.

You are just torturing yourself.

Hello Sensual

Thank you for your very sensible and comprehensive message.

See, that is the difference you tried he did not. When I tested him and simultaneously the technology had a freak non transmission of any messages, he got angry and he said I had let him down and should appologize. But why should I apologize for something that was not my fault and I black and white proof. He just ended us talking then and there.

Nope just realized I am wasting my time with a waste of @ stripe.

Hello Sensual

Thank you for your very sensible and comprehensive message.

See, that is the difference you tried he did not. When I tested him and simultaneously the technology had a freak non transmission of any messages, he got angry and he said I had let him down and should appologize. But why should I apologize for something that was not my fault and I black and white proof. He just ended us talking then and there.[/quote]

Emma, thanks for your reply.

You know many of us, if truth be known probably all, suffer from past upset or trauma that guides our actions for better or worse. Wiith patience and understanding I believe couples can move past these issues but that normally takes commitment from those already in a loving relationship.

His previous actions and recent anger are certainly reasons for concern and it is he who has ended the relationship which I'm sure he will live to regret-- but you should not.
The world is full of wonderful people who just want love and security. Give that to someone who deserves it, welcomes it and returns it to you wholeheartedly.

It takes time, care and experience to learn to love ourselves enough... until one day... the unavailable person is just not desirable any more.

One day, Emma, when you are happy and fulfilled and receiving all that you need from a warm and juicy relationship, you will look back at your younger self with compassion. How glad you will be that you did not settle for crumbs from this man's table. You are worth much much more.

@Kali

Thank you for your kind and wise words. I am on the way there.