Meeting for the first time

sexycurves​(sub female) • Feb 25, 2022

This is an excellent thread and I'm very interested in what people have to advise and their stories.

I've yet to experience a first meet but I am already aware of the advice that has been given, so that's reassuring.

By the way, I'm pleased to hear that your first meet went well and that you are enjoying your journey.

🙂

FundamentallyDom​(dom male) • Feb 25, 2022

I'm going to cautiously go against the grain a little here.

I fully agree that meeting anyone from online for the first time is a risky prospect and requires a lot of care and careful approach. That said, sending scans of any ID to someone you've never met before is in my view a very bad idea in an age of online scams and identity theft. Sorry but that would definitely be a huge red flag for me.

I would fully agree that subs are in general much more at risk than doms, it's an unfortunate truth. I would note that this doesn't mean life is risk free for doms, and both sides need to be careful, sane and sensible. I would also note that not everyone has close friends they have told about their kinky side and references can easily be faked. Here is how I would approach it, and again this is just my view.

1) Don't rush into meeting. Take time to talk, always have plenty of video calls first. See what the other side looks like. Make sure who they are on camera matches what you know about them. Get a feel for who they are. Do some discreet cyber stalking to make sure they check out. Once you are confident that they are who they say they are then and only then start considering further steps.

2) Meet in a public place first. Always. Coffee shop, mall, cinema, restaurant, whatever it is make it somewhere with both security cameras and witnesses. Let a friend know you are going to be meeting someone from online for the first time. You don't have to share all your kinky secrets but they should know where you'll be and when to hit a panic button.

3) If it's travelling from a long way away then the one travelling should book a hotel room. You may very well not like who you meet and if you're flying you need a backup place to stay. If you're driving long distances you don't want to do that upset and emotional. If it's close then by all means have a few platonic public dates first and proceed cautiously, there's no rush. Yes this puts more of a cost on the one travelling, but it is a must.

4) Make sure you always have a good exit plan, if it all goes a bit wrong you need an option that keeps you safe and gets you out of there. You should never be put in a situation where you don't have an out.

5) Be practical, pragmatic and sensible. Sometimes in life you meet an amazing person and it's wonderful. Sometimes you don't click, and unfortunately every now and then you run into someone decidedly unpleasant.

Aliasdaddy • Feb 25, 2022

Very eloquently put. Really nice to see people approaching this topic in such a manner.