Snowangell(sub female)
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2 years ago •
Aug 17, 2022
Thank you all for the helpful feedback!
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Online now
MissBonnie(dom female){oz}
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2 years ago •
Aug 17, 2022
If in doubt ALWAYS Use their profile name.
It is the name they choose for themselves so it is the name they want to be called and you cant go wrong with it! if they wish other wise they should of named themselves that! You can also ask what they wish to be called, after you figured out just why they have landed in your inbox. Like others have stated Someone needs to earn you calling them Sir/Master/Daddy don't just throw out the word to someone that doesn't deserve it. the word will loose its meaning. In the Femdom (F/ffmm) world nothing annoys a Female Domme more than being called "Mistress" (Goddess etc) by someone that they don't own. .. Again profile name, we choose it, use it (although more often than not, those asking tributes will use it as a title. Report them if they do) Most males Dom are often the same as Dommes and don't wish an honorific unless they earnt that respect or you belong to them. If you ask what they wish to be called, it also gives you time to assess what kind of person they are and opens the door to more conversation too! |
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| Tradesman(dom male){LilmissB} |
2 years ago •
Aug 17, 2022
Just for skimming and reading a few comments I think this has been said. But personally for me, no. If we had just started talking for example, don’t call me your dom referring to me as sir, master etc etc. The same way a dom has to earn his sub (I.e. I need to earn your submission), the sub has to earn their dom (I.e. sub has to earn the others dominance). To me there is nothing more aggravating than talking to someone and them immediately referring to me as sir or master etc. Personally that tells me they are just wanting to hop around. Then again, my view is shared with flash (my live in sub). We take those names seriously, we both have earned each others dominance and submission, and we take a dynamic and the accoutrements of that very seriously. Same with collaring. Training collar, day collar, and permanent collar eventually. But, we also are for the connection. We took the time to be friends first.
There is a huge misconception that bdsm and dynamics is just kinky sex and a little deeper level of trust to bring people together. It’s way more than that. I’ll let you do your own research but in my 2 years and now some personal experience, I’ve found the recurring study that couples who engage in bdsm and have a closer connection with eachother, stay together longer (lower divorce stats), and are generally happier than vanilla. That’s my 2 cents |
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Miki(masochist female)
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2 years ago •
Aug 17, 2022
In the end it's up to the preferences of the individual. Aside from site terms-of-service rules, there's no official book of regulations on how, or even if, one should address one who messages them.
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| balloonkotinsp |
2 years ago •
Aug 17, 2022
I'm a newbie Dom. But I personally feel that referring to all Doms as sir, without ever meeting them, kinda cheapens the term. Perhaps referring to Doms that you have met, and respect , as Sir, seems reasonable however.
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trixietrixster(sub female)
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2 years ago •
Aug 17, 2022
Satindragon wrote: Depending on how you were raised, responding with a Sir or Ma’am May just come natural. However there are those here who are overbearing and would take advantage of your show of respect.
Please keep in mind it is not necessary to respond to every email. Take your time and educate yourself in the lifestyle. The Submissive Guide is a great website to get acquainted with the lifestyle. There will be some who try and get you to move over to another way of messaging. Please do not do this right away. If you are here and someone gets out of hand they can be reported and dealt with. But if you leave the site you are on your own. "... depending on how your were raised ..." This is a great statement add on to the conversation. Thank you! |
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MasterBear(other butch)
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2 years ago •
Aug 22, 2022
You are not in any negotiated agreement. Until that happens no honorifics.
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Crimson Pheonix
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2 years ago •
Sep 1, 2022
obsequiae wrote: Some submissives do address any dominant they cross paths with as Sir/Miss, but you being a complete novice something you should be aware of is that can be an easy thread to pull on for those on the other side of the slash with ill intent to pull on, they'll try and use you showing that slight bit of deference to make more out of the interaction than it is in a very premature fashion. It's fine if you prefer to do so, but definitely keep this in mind, that anyone trying to take advantage of that show of deference and respect is a major red flag.
So I had a Dom message me, I responded and in his next message he asked that I call him Sir from then on. Would that be a red flag? I'm very new to all this. |
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| Defender(dom male) |
2 years ago •
Sep 1, 2022
Crimson Vixen wrote: So I had a Dom message me, I responded and in his next message he asked that I call him Sir from then on. Would that be a red flag? I'm very new to all this. Has he been Knighted by Her Majesty the Queen? If not, only call someone "Sir" when you feel like doing so. |
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NoClvrNickname(sub female)
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2 years ago •
Sep 1, 2022
I don't call anyone sir unless I'm referring to MY Sir. I am polite/respectful (unless they are a d-bag right out of the gate), but I don't owe them any superlatives or honorifics.
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