Dom Drop

Miki​(masochist female) • Oct 24, 2023

@Sololoquy

First don't worry about "walls of text"-- that's part and parcel to a blog for the most part. I only wrote that by way of the reason I generally don't read those. But yours may be of interest to me, I'll take a look at some point.

As for "entering into a dynamic with a BDSM sadist. I intended to convey that beyond cursory communication (in writing of course) I wouldn't even engage in a casual situation with one who identifies as or exhibits the tendencies of a sadist.

As for terminology, indeed it would be helpful if there were a different means of referring to a "BDSM sadist" vs a true sadist who only derives pleasure, one way pleasure, from inflicting misery on another, more vulnerable person.

Aas the term seems to have bled into the BDSM world and is loosely used to describe one who does enjoy inflictng pain on a sub or a masochist, but also derives pleasure from the fact that they enjoy it and accept such things voluntarily.

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***EDIT I have been remiss in that I do know that the dangerous, psychotic "true" sadists would not identify as such of course while BDSM sadists do as part of what a sub or masochist can expect and look forward to. The former wouldn't want to give away their evil intentions. After all, who would spend time with someone who says "Yeah I'm going to bring you home, beat you senseless and leave you to die in the woods."

(extreme mexample but the point is they would affect the air of the opposite to lure in victims)

Sololoquy • Oct 24, 2023

Speaking of walls of text, I just added a couple on masochist and sadist archetypes as I wanted to understand what was going on with those, since I'm both a sadist and a masochist (BDSM context).

One of the things that came up from the video I was looking at was the distinction between being a sadist and topping in pain play, and I feel like that's a good distinction. Once I figured out what my motive for sadism was, topping in pain play as a term probably fits the bill better, only that's even more of a mouthful than BDSM sadist!

Anyway, sorry if I was off earlier - I feel better now that I've got a better handle on some of the psychology at play, which helps to assuage fears of being someone who wants to inflict pain specifically because they hate it. When I looked at the archetypes, it made me wonder if that kind of sadist is more rare, in much the same way that the stereotypical masochist, who finds pain in and of itself pleasurable, is also quite rare. Most of the other archetypes for both sadists and masochists seemed to be more about things that were pain-adjacent, so to speak, where pain was a tool for, or a by-product of, something else desirable.

Miki​(masochist female) • Oct 24, 2023

Sweet Minx​(sub female){NotLooking} • Oct 25, 2023

I've never heard this term before and its lead me to a rabbit hole of info.