Heero(dom male)
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10 months ago •
Dec 24, 2023
Aegis wrote: Heero wrote: Aegis wrote: Sincorrigible wrote: Block. No need to invoke a dominant. If someone disrespects your boundaries, or doesn't listen, nip it in the bud.
Ok I understand this however for me I understand that it’s easier to block someone than to not involve a dominant. However i know she was struggle a bit and doesn’t always want to jump to blocking people so she was kind of hinting at me helping in some way which is why i ended up asking the question. But once again your insight into this is massively appreciated and important and may help me in talking to her about this situation more. If the issue is online, then the main tool is to block (perhaps on multiple platforms). And sometimes, a sub may need your support in this, but not necessarily for you to step in, but rather to give a stamp of approval or authority to do something. Going further, it is as aPeepingMom suggests, you would want to empower your sub to deal with these situations even without you. Because there may be situations where they're being harassed or otherwise being made uncomfortable and you'd be indisposed and unable to help. And sometimes, a sub just wants to know that you have their backs and they're acting in accordance to how you would want the situation dealt with. I have also had subs that, for one reason or another, had trouble with decision-making, especially in the heat of the moment. Sometimes "obvious" responses are not so obvious to them. So if this is a recuring issue (or a single, particularly impactful one), it is a good idea to make a rule or protocol about it. Something like, "If someone is bothering you, you have the authority to block them without my permission, and tell me about the situation after the fact. If you're on the fence about blocking someone, you can discuss with me and then I will decide whether you block or not. If I am indisposed at the moment, then you have the discretion to choose among the following options: a better-safe-than-sorry block, or simply ignore all messages and DO NOT RESPOND until you can talk to me." Or something like that; I wrote this off the top of my head, so I didn't think this through to make sure it covers all loopholes and likely scenarios. If the problem can extend to in-person, then things are a bit more sensitive and nuanced. I have had to deal with such situations also. Again, it is best to establish some sort of protocol for how to deal with this and create distance if you cannot respond right away. Thank you for the insight and never really thought about the rule/protocol side of things and that’s something I can consider. I’m hoping it was just a one of that made her feel the way she did, I think if it is multiple times then I’ll probably sit down and talk to her about it. If she was shaken up enough to think asking you to "step in" made sense to her, it probably was a situation that bothered her a lot. And it would be good for her to see something done about it and that you're taking it seriously (which this post partly proves). |
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Online now
| Spanks hard(dom male){Looking } |
10 months ago •
Dec 24, 2023
As the Dom or Master it's your place to insure the safety of your submissive and let the person know that you will not stand for them to say anything negative about your property and will fight for her if nessary.
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Bunnie
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10 months ago •
Dec 25, 2023
Personally I’m always suspicious of Dominants who approach taken submissives. What are they seeking?
If they happen to banter in comments or chat, then decide to speak privately because they’ve developed a friendship, sure, that makes sense and seems natural. But simply jumping into their inbox, to me, I’m unable to comprehend what exactly they’re doing there beyond an attempt at poaching. When I was with my Sir, I simply stated on my profile that I was perfectly happy, and to not even bother trying to poach because it was pointless. Why would anybody want someone they could poach anyway? My suggestion? For her part… if she’s unavailable, make sure that words and actions suggest that, so there’s no room for mixed messages. For your part… have the conversation about what your personal boundaries are, and discuss together what boundaries you want to create for your relationship. Then put all those in place. |
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aPeepingMom(sub female)
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10 months ago •
Dec 25, 2023
Bunnie wrote: Personally I’m always suspicious of Dominants who approach taken submissives. What are they seeking?
If they happen to banter in comments or chat, then decide to speak privately because they’ve developed a friendship, sure, that makes sense and seems natural. But simply jumping into their inbox, to me, I’m unable to comprehend what exactly they’re doing there beyond an attempt at poaching. When I was with my Sir, I simply stated on my profile that I was perfectly happy, and to not even bother trying to poach because it was pointless. Why would anybody want someone they could poach anyway? Agreed! I love when they ask me what my rules or protocols are. Those that show that kind of respect to both me and My Sir instantly gain so much respect in my book. |
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