What is this?

Miki • May 17, 2025

@Sub Baby Love

It's not you, it is people taking advantage of your challenges and finding it easy to because of who you are. Don't be so concerned about making "others' happy until you make yourself happy or at least content first.


But ditch this guy, for your own safety along with peace of mind. "a couple good months" was as far as he was able to fake it and cover his nature. He won't change because men (or women for that matter) either can't or won't (s)he has no reason to. You really need to get out o that relationship and go without one for a while. Find your own inner peace and satisfaction first, then be concerned about others. Once you fully believe in yourself then what others do will have less effect. And don't let the "high function autism block you. It's a challenge, not an impenetrable barrier. Shelve the "family" too, if they're toxic to your mental and emotional wellbeing. You need not totally disassociate from them permanently, just long enough to stand up to the narcissism and whenever they start in on putting you down you'll have little trouble telling them to go piss up a rope

Get the help of those truly qualified to help those with your challenges. Consult a professional, not two-bit armchair "experts". There is zero shame in consulting professionals.

That's about all I can say on this. I sure as hell am no professional counselor, I'm merely relaying the advice I have known to be given to others I have known over the years in similar situations as yours, primarily abusive situations.

I concur with what "pioneer man" wrote above, don't trust this bastard you're with as far as you could shove a lawn mower up his ass.

Get out before he flips out and does something that none can come back from. With sickos like that you just never know and ought not stick around long enough to find out.

A Minx • May 17, 2025

Dearest Sub Baby Love, I'm glad you are taking what people are writing here for you to heart! I'm happy to see that you are receiving much needed support from this great community too!
All I ask of you is to read what you have written directly above (again and again). I believe you have your answer, your soul truly knows what you need to do. This current relationship is not healthy for you in body and in mind. You need physical distance from him for clarity. I promise, if you listen to your gut and what you already know is true, it will steer you in the right direction, it won't be just an ending but a new and much better beginning for you too! Count me as another one in your corner! Best wishes, be safe and please take good care, you got this!

JaredMayer​(dom male) • May 17, 2025

The more you talk about your situation the worse it sounds. That is 100% abuse and things being good at first completely fits the pattern, because that's how they get you. That's how I was got.

You are not crazy, that's the gas lighting. I was made to constantly doubt my own perception of reality too, it's how abusers work.

I used to vent about my situation to my friends too, but for some reason I was reluctant to leave. Maybe because it was my first real relationship. It took one friend, who'd also been though an abusive relationship, being patient with me and consistently pointing out how abusive all of her behavior was, how none of it was normal or acceptable, before I finally wised up and kicked her out of my life.

You could find someone to be that friend for you, but a) your situation sounds way more abusive than mine was, and b) trust me when I say that if you just skip to the end and cut this person out of your life you'll still feel so much better. You will probably go through a brief mourning phase, that's normal, but trust me it feels great to not feel like you're walking through a minefield constantly.

escaping an abuser

MasterDomDok​(sadist male)​{you?} • May 17, 2025

Just keep an eye on your six, in case abuser goes postal on you. that's a 911 call and DO NOT HESITATE.

A Minx • May 17, 2025

Thank you MasterDomDok! So very important: remember the thumb inside the fist signal - if you are out anywhere, he's hurting you and others can see you, use it to (silently) ask for help/call the police. I've seen on the news that it has worked for people who needed help!

Excellent advice, I had forgotten about this potentially live saving hand gesture: ibXIYUqGYqU

MissBonnie​(dom female)​{oz} • May 17, 2025

Run, take the nearest exit. If you are questioning, then it isn't right!
if you feel he might! Then he will
GET OUT while you can.

Bunnie • May 18, 2025

If your nervous system is in “fight or flight” mode then you’ll have that struggle of not being able to think straight. Emotional abuse strives to keep you in that state.
If you can’t trust your mind, trust your nervous system. Clearly it doesn’t seem to feel like a safe space for you. I’m with the others. Sounds like a situation to get yourself out of.
Do you have friends or family that can help you relocate?

Kelpi • May 18, 2025

Let's be honest this so called "man" is just using you to make himself feel better. To many have to make someone into a doormat to feel like they are worth something. Also if you think it is cheating then it is cheating. My ex and I would watch porn together and when we were alone but we knew what the other was doing. You will never be able to do anything he thinks is good enough. My sister went through this and it stopped once she told me about it. Yes you need better friends and people who you can talk honestly to. You can find them here just be careful on who you choose. Sub or slave it does not matter. If you do not enjoy the way you are being treated then you need someone better. A good Dom or Master will always listen as well as talk. I have known two people who wanted to be treated like a ugly door mat BUT they had a say in the way they needed to be treated. My last sub told me what she liked and what her limits where and what limits she wanted to be pushed past. This was a give and take relationship and it worked till we got to the point I would not push past lines. If he can't listen he will never know you truly.

Thumb locked fist bump

MasterDomDok​(sadist male)​{you?} • May 19, 2025

I saw a short of a fool being casually helped off a subway after the lady used it. One passenger casually bumps his backpack, standing him up, another one steps between him and her, edging him quietly in front of the door. Door opens at the stop, two more passengers back up into him so he gets shut out, and off goes the subway car.

BUT! if you and he are alone when he goes at you , you fight with all your might, kicking in all the places you know hurt worst, knee caps, balls, throat, and run while you call 911.

Better yet, just get up and walk out on him right this instant.

Sub Baby Love​(sub female) • May 19, 2025

Why is he so angry with me all the time? I wish I could just listen to all of you and believe it. Like everything I’m doin is not enough and he deflects the cheating topic with saying I’ll go be with someone else that we are friends with. I can’t tell if he cares or is trying to be controlling. So he can go message or do whoever he wants. I was happy until I found a bunch of Snapchat stuff. He deleted Snapchat cuz I was uncomfortable. Then my gut feeling led me to Facebook and instagram and ticktock. Then me reacting was by going home with another guy after they had to tell him to leave me alone and back off. Not that he did anything wrong just that I did. To this day that’s the argument. And I didn’t even have sex that night. But what he remembers is that I did something wrong. And I don’t know if I can make any of it make sense anymore. I do love him, my mind just went to soup over the aggression, intimidation and the disrespect. I can’t see. Thank you for the responses. I’m trying to figure it out.