BDSM without the DSM - thoughts?

Redamancy • Sep 30, 2020

Within bondage its self I find that that there is a level of DSM (dominance, submission, sadist and masochism) within it. When you are hog tied up whether that being completely incapacitated, upside down, or suspended, you are automatically submitting your body on a level. Vice versa, the person whom is outside of this bondage is carrying a level of dominance. For sadism and masochism, maybe not the pain part, but there sure as heck can be humiliation. Humiliation can be given through what type of bondage is used, and also through words.

Edit: okay so I saw your original post but not the one referring to the "perfect sub" where no punishment is given.

As a sub its satisfying hearing those reassuring words out of your doms mouth "good girl" or whatever that may be. So of course we want to be as good as we can, but if you're too perfect it become a bit mundane. Oh you did all the chores for today? Good girl heres your reward. How many times will it take of that for the sub to want a good hard punishment and the dom to release himself and give that punishment; especially when you're naturally sadist/masochist.

The Thinker​(sadist male){NotLooking} • Sep 30, 2020

DrW, I respect limits in the sense that I have never ever broken even a soft limit.

DrWakko • Sep 30, 2020

Yeah they are your limits. It’s hard to break your own limits.

The Thinker​(sadist male){NotLooking} • Sep 30, 2020

I am not sure of your point. Are you against compatibility? In a compatible relationship, there is never a conflict of limits, which, incidentally is the goal.

DrWakko • Sep 30, 2020

There is no conflict of limits when they are only your limits.

The Thinker​(sadist male){NotLooking} • Sep 30, 2020

I am not sure how you are getting that. the sub has to check my limits for compatibility. I check the sub's limits for compatibility. You don't?

DrWakko • Sep 30, 2020

I get that because that is what you keep saying. Your last comment more aligns with what I have been saying. It’s about negotiating. You give your limits and sub gives their limits. If one side doesn’t agreee there is no relationship.

The Thinker​(sadist male){NotLooking} • Sep 30, 2020

Where is the negotiation? You cmpare limits and walk if the limits are not compatible. You don't negotiate limits. You don't compromise. You just walk.

Is that what you are saying as well?

Redamancy • Sep 30, 2020

I think what they are trying to say is that if one side doesn't agree that a limit should be a limit then the corresponding party should leave that relationship. If they cant respect each others limits then there is not a compatible relationship.

DrWakko • Sep 30, 2020

Negotiations being you put what you want on the table and they put they want on the table. Some items are set in stone and has to be part of the relationship. Some things can be taken off the table or added as those negotiators see fit.

For example: you want someone into maid service. Submissive is ok with it but says one day a week you two go out or so take out.

The maid service is something you must have in the relationship. How ever going out to eat once a week might be something you are ok with or you can say no go and that could stop the relationship.

You could also be I want maid service end of story take it or leave it.