Does anyone want something serious anymore?

Ens​(masochist male){Looking} • Sep 28, 2024

You're not alone, far from. Thing is, it's not really as easy as it may seem at first (because our brain has a tendency to jump straight into that fantasy) I want the same thing as you (only the other way around) and I've talked to numerous Dommes in the past, but nothing has come from it so far.

When push comes to shove, people tend to cower, and we can't really hold that against them because it is in fact a ginormous step for one to take.

What you have to therein remember is that he or she would be giving up on ever living a normal life in order to pursue this new way of life with you. He or she would be giving up the white picket fence life (never getting to have kids, never getting to be married, etc.)

You have to push your own egotistical needs aside and simply wait for someone that truly wants the same as you. Don't try to force it, don't try to impose it upon whomever it is that you're looking for, they will come to you eventually if it's in fact meant to be.

However, you are on the right track. Keep making profiles and posts like these, keep attending certain events, and you will run into them before or later.

Oh, and don't give up. Whatever you do, do not (and I repeat) do not throw in the towel. You will succeed eventually, just keep trying.

In response to your comment.

Ens​(masochist male){Looking} • Sep 28, 2024

With all due respect Shaynna, I believe that it has to do with your profile coming across as a tad bit questionable in terms of what you're actually looking for.

It says on your profile that you're a Domme, the results shows that you're 100% owner, degrader, sadist, etc, but yet in your bio it also states that you're looking for a quote "Daddy sub" which contradicts aforementioned.

If you want to find someone, you have to cut to the chase about what and who you want. Do you want a sub, simply say that. do you want a master, a painslut, whatever it is that you're actually looking for (because, again, it's a bit blurry) you have to be clear about it.

Take a glance at my profile to get an idea of what I mean. I explain from the get-go what I'm after, and what I'm willing to give up to hopefully receive it. I also go into age-range, physicality, and give examples on things that she could do to me to give her a better picture of how much I actually mean business (and how much I stand on it)

Think of your bio as a job application. Fill out all the required fields, give the reader a reason to pick yours instead of risking "losing the job" to someone else.

Best of luck, and don't worry Shaynna you got this, there are so absolutely people out there (in stacks, even) looking for you as we speak. Just, y'know, maybe tidy up your biography a little bit and you should be good to go!

Re: In response to your comment.

Sincorrigible​(sub female) • Sep 28, 2024

From someone whose own profile reads like the biggest fantasy spiel ever.

I usually don't make negative comments on here. But I think it's very uncalled for to criticise someone else's profile, when your own is highly unlikely to attract the kind of woman you allege you want.

Ens​(masochist male){Looking} • Sep 29, 2024

It wasn't negative criticism, it was positive "criticism".

I was trying to help her, nothing else.

As for my own bio, how are the two related? I went over the things that I was after, and that was (and remains to be) my whole point.

Look, I am well aware that what I'm looking for isn't everyone's cup of tea, and you absolutely could call it a fantasy spiel because it is indeed about as extreme as it comes - but it's what I want.

I'mME • Sep 30, 2024

I'm not sure how long OP has been 'looking' for a sub, but some folks have been looking for years for the partner tgey feel they want.

To turn around and make blanket statements about ppl, 🤷.
It's sour grapes.

There are plenty of people here and other sites, that do not ghost, disappear, whatever other things that being bandied about.

Talking to someone for a couple days, that's not ghosting. It's we chatted, we stopped.

I believe someone proposed that people change their standards loyalty and something else. That's a big no. That's like someone is honest, but because others have trouble with the truth, then that person should lower their standards. Another word for standards could be boundaries.

And, I don't think that everyone is going non-monogamous. As long as ppl are honest, do what makes you happy.

MisterAshmodai​(dom male) • Oct 1, 2024

As the last couple portions of this most recent comment seem to be aimed at my advice, I'll rebut by saying that at no point did I suggest that anyone change their definition of loyalty or commitment. I suggested introspection to gain a deeper understanding of how we define loyalty and commitment, personally. When applied to relationships, neither of these terms has a set-in-stone definition, but both seem to be often taken for granted as common knowledge, leading to misunderstandings and potential parting of ways. That's not to say that introspection would not potentially elicit change, but no one should change in any way that is not organic to their best interests.
I'm glad that you agree.

As far as non-monogamy, at no point was it stated or even inferred that everyone is becoming non-monogamous. Only that the practice is currently going through a renaissance, much like kink, and stands as an appropriately relevant example of an alternative lifestyle due to its increased popularity.

Susie Q{Daddy Ant} • Oct 1, 2024

All these comments are amazingly honest and truthful. The ‘veneer’ is very apropos. I believe that many people use a ‘sexy’ feeling role and run with it. I believe that many people don’t really know who they are or what their role truly is, if it is even a BDSM role. I’ve met dominants who definitely are not dominant and slaves who are not slaves. That being said, I also know that who you are affects your role and they are many and varied. Hi we you define roles is a huge part of the disconnect too I believe. Communication about what you think the definition of your role is and what you think the definition of the role your prospective is, will be a huge factor in any dynamic.
The search can be so frustrating, but the prize of a connection is priceless.

Bluebanana​(masochist female) • Oct 1, 2024

Just like you, I feel noone is serious anymore! They say they want the same but not for long

AttilaL​(dom male) • Oct 2, 2024

''Does anyone want something serious anymore? '' - Probably there are some people who are searching for a serious relationship.

I think the current problem with this website that it turned into a ''Blog House''. Endless blogs from users, endless blogs in e-mail newsletter. But who actually cares about this blogs? I personally don't care about them. I bought this premium membership to support this website, but months later I realized it was a money thrown out of window, because here like 99,99% of the members are fake. There is really zero option to search for something serious except that cheap and stupid ''Seeking'' feature which does nothing special. So other than support the nothing, what does the (getting more expensive) premium membership do? Separate "elite members of society'' vs the normal mortals?

In main lobby, there is no way to talk with a submissive woman for example in private chat, becase there is not a single one there, who is searching for something serious, or she is a real submissive woman. Or just to chat with someone at least...

Bad thing, I can't find a good website, where are real non-fake non-pseudo ppl, plus, they are searching for something real. Everywhere, everyone is saying this website is the ''best'' for BDSM related stuff. Maybe it was, many years ago.


Finding something serious? Yes it's possible, maybe in real life, on some BDSM party or I don't know, but not here that is 100%
So sad, here in my country, there are no Bdsm parties, or no happenings, where is possible to find a real treasuse (meaning: a real submissive woman) woman.

But I wish good luck to everyone finding the very special person you looking for, and for a nice long and serious relationship.

P.S.#1: I am not seeking attention, please do not visit my profile, its very bad Also sorry, if I don't have pics in suit, I know for many women here that is standard. xD

P.S.#2:
I respect the very few here, that I know, and they are/or were in difficult life situations, and I always read their real blogs with empathy, and with respect.

silentnotes​(sub female){Looking } • Oct 2, 2024

I feel you on the topic, it's really difficult to find someone that's looking for something long term and serious. I have somewhat just accepted that the people I've met aren't looking for long term or serious.
In my case the issue is also, that I need a genuine connection and also don't want "just" a dynamic (nothing wrong with that, just not for me). It makes it really difficut to find someone.

I love getting to know new people, but it's hard for me to trust someone at first due to past experiences.