Being Naked

SageFlame​(sub female) • Mar 30, 2025

Thoughts:

Our perceptions and how we show up in the world have everything to do with early experiences. When you don't develop intimacy outside of sex, sex becomes the only way you feel connected. For sexually active people, sex can become a substitute for a more meaningful expansive experience through true intimacy. Being physically naked and vulnerable and feeling naked and vulnerable are two entirely different topics.

Since I was a girl, I had healthy hugs, touch and conversation with my family. In high school, I began avoiding the pretty boys or popular boys because I couldn't have a conversation with them. And a hug for them was a signal for sex. Not! Vulnerability or nakedness in terms of showing who you truly isn't the dropping of a curtain moment. It comes in bits and moments. For me, it begins in an engaging conversation. (Not the kind that contains "what are you wearing") If it goes farther leading to more nakedness of the mind and body then the sexual experience is more fulfilling to me as I am giving to someone I like, respect and feel a connection with beforehand.


Here in the U.S.A. we are a touch starved culture and it is no surprise that we are the number one consumers of porn. We are weak as a culture when it comes to forming intimate and satisfying connections. The world of BDSM was attractive to me for various reasons; one is the fact that in a D/s both parties are taking a risk and a measure of vulnerability takes place automatically. It isn't just the sub being vulnerable or exposed but the Dom stepping up knowing that mistakes can happen. Often without the assurance that the sub will respond positively. I see this as being vulnerable as well. With BDSM the nakedness happens through trust, trust in ourselves and in our partner but it also comes through courage.


It takes courage to be naked as much as it takes courage to be authentic.