How did you get started.

Chrysanth Moss​(sub female) • Jul 24, 2025

After reading this thread, I felt like sharing a little too, even though I’m still figuring all this out.

For me, I don’t think there was one big moment per se - more a quiet, slow unfolding. I think part of me always knew. The way longing often begins in fiction... characters that weren’t necessarily “dominant” or “submissive” but carried a certain energy. Contrast. Tension. Softness behind sharpness. It always stirred something in me.

When I was younger I was drawn to the antiheroes. The soft villains. Catwoman. Evil Spiderman. Poison Ivy. That strange flutter in my stomach that made me feel alive.

In real life, things were mostly vanilla. But I feel like something sat just under the surface - a sense that if I peeked around the corner, something deeper might be there.

Eventually the ache in my stomach was too loud to ignore. I started speaking to someone - a friend of a friend. It turned into my first D/s dynamic. I was awkward, unsure, a bit feral maybe. But he saw something and held it gently. It was consensual, respectful, hot - and more than anything, it felt real. I’ll always be grateful for that.

The fire never really went out after that. But shame dimmed it. And when I fell in love, I told myself I had to choose. I buried this part of myself. Tried to “move on.”

But I kept circling back to it in dreams, art, writing, ache.

Eventually it cracked open again. And this time I couldn’t close the door.

So I’m here. Not exactly looking for attention. Just allowing myself to be seen, even if only slightly. Because it hurt to keep shrinking. It’s taken a long time to get here. And I guess I was craving reflection.

— C

Latent tendencies

ThatBrat​(kinky gender fluid) • Jul 25, 2025

I believe I’ve always had it in me. I suppressed a lot of my personality for a long time. Then I started figuring myself out and getting healthy. I used to watch normal porn, but then as I got more open minded, I saw it for how weird it is. I also learned more and more about how much gender norms suck. Then I stumbled across a female dom / male sub amateur couple on a porn site. She was beautiful and in total control of a total stud who was bound and gagged. She was pegging him well and he was loving it. I decided I wanted to be that guy or as close to it as I could get. I decided to suggest the idea to my partner, who was already into light butt play and slapping me firmly in sensitive places. And speaking of my partner, after all the effort I put into getting healthy and her being incredibly supportive during that time, I have reached a level of trust and communication with her that I was comfortable bringing it up. Since then —this turning point happened about a year ago— I have become more confident in exploring and have discovered surprising things about myself and my partner. It could go anywhere from here…