JaredMayer(dom male)
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8 months ago •
May 19, 2025
Quote: I wish I could just listen to all of you and believe it.
Yeah, I get this feeling because I've been through it myself, but here's the good news: you don't have to listen to the part of your mind that's been gaslit into believing you're the problem and that this situation is still salvageable. I know it *feels* that way, but feelings often cloud reality and yours are being manipulated. The things you're describing are not normal. They are not part of any healthy relationship, even a kinky one. Quote: Then me reacting was by going home with another guy after they had to tell him to leave me alone and back off. Not that he did anything wrong just that I did. To this day that’s the argument. And I didn’t even have sex that night. But what he remembers is that I did something wrong.
Staying with someone else because you felt threatened is not doing something wrong. He wants you to believe that so he can be the one in control. He was so aggressive towards you that another person had to step in and defend you, so *he* definitely did something wrong and now he's going to make *you* spend the rest of your life apologizing for it. This is a thing abusers do. And trust me, he will keep this in his toolbelt forever, bringing it up whenever he wants to put you on the defensive so he can control the narrative. It's called "gunny sacking". |
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intenseoldman(dom male)
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8 months ago •
May 19, 2025
► Sub Baby Love wrote: Why is he so angry with me all the time? I wish I could just listen to all of you and believe it.
Hey, if you need one more hat in the ring to get the fuck outta there, here's mine. He sounds like borderline personality disorder. You don't see until you're in it. That's why your so paralyzed wondering what the fuck you did to deserve what you're getting. Nothing. You just never knew who you got to begin with. Be good to yourself. Get out. |
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Miki
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8 months ago •
May 19, 2025
[truncated for emphasis]
► Sub Baby Love wrote: I wish I could just listen to all of you and believe it. Like everything I’m doin is not enough and he deflects the cheating topic with saying I’ll go be with someone else that we are friends with. I can’t tell if he cares or is trying to be controlling.
I do love him, my mind just went to soup over the aggression, intimidation and the disrespect. I can’t see. Thank you for the responses. I’m trying to figure it out. Whether he "loves" you or not is irrelevant. The "guy" is dangerous. Will it hurt to dump his defective ass? Certainly... You love him, I get it.... But it does and will continue to hurt far more if you continue to doubt. Now of course none in here can read your mind but one need not be able to do that to know that you're in a very toxic relationship that has caused emotional scarring and will cause more, deeper scarring the longer you put up with it. It will take a while, as will healing , but when the time comes, you will find out that there are other, better dudes out there! Read and take to heart what everyone on this thread has written. There's no way that everyone can be wrong. It's the same advice any doctor or cop will give you, and in this case, with that character, don't wait too long. "Too late" is a possibility. Don't wait for it to become a reality. Don't be a statistic or one of already too many other tragic episodes on 20/20. |
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House Talion(dom male)
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8 months ago •
May 21, 2025
The basic action of such is beleive is gaslighting, but as is the case mostbppl that do so are very well psychologically damaged based on their inability of facing their own faults.
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