why dosen't this work

Formatting, lists, yes on spelling and grammar

Indi303​(switch female) • Oct 30, 2018

There are a lot of great replies to this; I would also add that it helps to be active in groups, forums and discussions.

I think also having another profile elsewhere with a link, or your own website is also helpful. I'm fairly new here, so I'm still learning on many levels myself.

I've had several replies from seemingly fake or very limited people here, so I will sometimes edit my profile to help combat this- i.e. asking for references in the BDSM community that can vet the person.

I don't think you can get your profile 100% right for anyone but your eyes, but a good template, some light formatting and lists can be helpful as well.

Hissubbabygirl82 • Oct 31, 2018

Would it be better to put a clearer photo?

Savida​(other female) • Oct 31, 2018

@FabSeverus and@Hawkeye, I do believe I’ve been severely misunderstood, so I will try to clarify.

I have absolutely no problem with people who communicate in English even though it’s their second or third language. I think that’s really impressive, actually. As I said, I definitely couldn’t do it and wouldn’t even try—all the greatest respect for them. That was sincerely meant, and one must admit that there’s a certain exquisite level of irony in assuming so much about me to make the case that I’m making assumptions.

But, I digress.

Not speaking English as a first language and not putting effort into your profile are two entirely different things. If those threads were twisted together, then that was not my intention and if anyone who speaks English as a second language feels I’ve maligned them, then I sincerely apologize and want to know about it. When you know better, you do better and I’m always striving to be better.

I’ve seen plenty of profiles written by those who don’t speak English as a first language that were clearly written thoughtfully—you got a sense of the person regardless of whatever grammar/spelling/phrasing—sincerity and personality shine through such things.

As someone who writes, I appreciate good writing, it really speaks to me in a special way. Many people don’t care about that, but the fact that it’s a personal turn on doesn’t affect anyone’s chances with anyone else or that I can only connect with people who write fancy profiles—it’s just something I personally like.

That being said; a well written profile usually doesn’t turn people off and will often help in the search. that was my main point/intent that seems to have been misunderstood.

I also want to be clear that i have absolutely zero animosity towards other countries or cultures and only the greatest, most sincere respect and appreciation to meet people whose backgrounds aren’t the same as mine. I’m well aware education or country of origin or first language doesn’t determine a person’s goodness, sincerity or intelligence. Everyone makes typos, I probably have somewhere in this post (being written on a phone as it is)—no one is perfect and no one has to be to be worthy or deserving.

I hope this clear things up. Either way, I hope that we can agree to disagree (or debate!) respectfully and without name calling or accusations.

LordofPain56 • Nov 1, 2018

Well, some folks are saying that you need to add more detail. I didn't read your profile, but I will just share this. Once upon a time long ago (on another BDSM website) I had a very long and detailed profile (which I believed would leave nothing in question for the reader). My thoughts were that strict honesty and forthrightness should be the proper policy to avoid having the wrong people contact me. It never really got any attention.
My guess is that the reader may have seen ONE or two little things in there that they were not necessarily attracted to, so they skipped it.
My advice would be to not go too far overboard with details, but give enough information that you would hope the reader will like enough to contact you.

Bunnie • Nov 1, 2018

@ LordofPain56, I agree.

Poison Patty • Nov 6, 2018

I think it's hard because with this and any lifestyle, you want the best match possible. It takes time to weed out the scammers from the real. I've been here for only a couple of days with very few responses. Usually ones that don't follow the needs of my profile. I look at those as selfish because my needs matters not to them. I will keep an open mind if it will lead me to my dominate male. Good luck

Re: why dosen't this work

TXDomPolyhouse​(dom male) • Nov 6, 2018

To me if the Avatar is not a real picture is a let down. But you have a picture in your profile. So that at least fixes it.

First impression whatever ppl see is the avatar, so your selection there is sending a message from the beginning.

There are fake ppeople all over the place, and I have found here some guys that are married and only running a fantasy that they don't have the balls to live in real life. Those are a waste of time, and made you waste your time. Is a shame they can't be purged. I am ok with having fantasies, and online masters or subs, but be upfront about it. Own it,

Any how, give it time there is real ppl here, just be more specific in your profile take the BDSM quiz and put it in your Profile it can help find out compatibility.

Hawkeye

ATL Dom​(dom male) • Jun 11, 2020

Pls dont troll.

Sasa​(dom female) • Jun 11, 2020

I haven't seen a lot of "fake" here, just a few people who dream. That's ok. Be a bit patient please, also with yourself. Lot's of people open up slowly and if your expectations go through the roof every platform is a disappointment.

Easy to see, English is my third language. We use it to communicate. If a person has the idea I'm because of grammar mistakes part of the "educationally deprived strata of society" ... what can I say. This is a place were we introduce ourselves to others. Nothing else.

take your time

PhoenixFire​(sub female) • Jun 12, 2020

This is me 1000%.