SUBeneschamali(sub female){in-trainin}
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4 years ago •
Oct 4, 2020
Run away! I’m very new to this lifestyle too, but what you just described is scary. One thing I’ve learned is the sub always has a choice. Trust is earned both ways and what he is doing to you is very untrustworthy.
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Online now
Redamancy
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4 years ago •
Oct 4, 2020
Within the scene i would assume that when "No " is spoken that means the limit is set. This doesnt mean that its not allowed to be talked about and reevaluated in the future if both parties are comfortable, but i personally would not want a hard limit broken. There is also a difference between soft limits and hard limits. He might've viewed what you were saying as a soft limit, but he also should've asked that specific question for an answer. Soft limits are limits that the sub/dom are willing to try or renegotiate but are hesitant to, hard limits are a solid no until said limit definer decides they are not a limit anymore.
FayeAce wrote: Thank you for all of the advice. I’ve spoken with the person and we didn’t see eye to eye and disagreed on what I shared. He has his views on what happened and I have my views. I don’t see anything wrong with the way I was feeling and reaching out for advice but it brushed him the wrong way.
I’m a beginner so I think some misinterpretation was happening and when I say I’m not comfortable or don’t want to do something and he gave a reply I thought that was the end of the discussion and he has now said I needed to say it more and reiterate that I don’t want to do it otherwise he thinks I’ve agreed to it. Maybe it’s because I’m inexperienced but I guess I thought if you say no or something that should be the end of it but maybe that’s not how things are in this scene? I do want to say that he is a nice person and very caring. He’s not a monster or mean person but obviously with my inexperience we were not on the same page and had some miscommunication. I will reiterate again that he is a sweet guy and caring. Again thank you all for the advice. |
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Myrrdin(dom male)
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4 years ago •
Oct 4, 2020
Let me start by saying that, "No means No", and there is no misunderstanding or misinterpreting! Second, we are only trying to look out for you and prevent you from getting hurt! This guy sounds like a predator trying to prey on you and sounds like he is being nice to make you feel comfortable, but I have seen too many people get hurt from similar situations and I am telling you that he is a, "Red Flag", and you should discontinue all conversation with him and act like you never talked to him! Whatever you decide to do, you are not alone if you ever need someone to talk to and above all else please be safe and be careful!!!
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